Taking an indefinite break from competitive.

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ONLY ENG BECAUSE CBA TO TYPE IN ITA TOO, EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ANYWAYS


PGnats split ended with GGE on a pretty bad note, we finished last as probably everyone expected but i really do believe we could've done much better if the circumstances allowed so. Most of my close friends already know this but not so long ago my parents opened a business and i have been helping there since then, this has caused many difficulties in schedule / self fatigue and i definitely felt it during this split. I'm not gonna bullshit around and say that i didn't deserve what i got in fact I know that i played like shit during all split excluding maybe 1 or 2 games and i say sorry to my teammates who maybe expected a different level of gameplay from me.

I will be taking an indefinite break from competitive to focus more on my personal life, i have played competitive nonstop for about 4 years and to be honest I feel like I haven't gotten to where I wanted to be in the beginning of my career. Maybe i had too high expectations or i evaluated myself too highly but i feel like I have failed my parents who gave me enough trust to still try and make something out of this game, letting me drop out of highschool to chase this dream and gave me an opportunity to try and be happy doing what I enjoy. I always played with pressure behind me, not having finished school and not having another job other than league i spent everyday trying to convince myself that I had to make this work or everything would be over, that I had to become successful or my parents would be too disappointed in me but honestly I only recently realized that I am in fact still young. I'm only 23 this year and i can still learn a lot if i put my mind into it like I did with league. League gave me good memories and lots of fun but it also took away a lot time that I could have used to be a better person to my friends , family and even my girlfriend.

I don't know if I'll ever be back to playing competitive, maybe it's just not for me. Maybe if I started playing league earlier , or if I did better choices during my career or even if I just played better when i had the chance, then maybe right now i would still have that same motivation i had years ago but it's just not there anymore. I feel like I can't have this luxury of grinding for hours and hours each day anymore without having second thoughts about everything else in my life and it would only be unfair to my potential next team / teammates if I continued playing.
I will be using this break to finally get my driving license and to hopefully fix all the issues i had because of league and then MAYBE after everything is done, come back to play competitive with a calmer mind.

I thank all the people I met during these years especially those who basically started this journey with me from nothing (Reizhhh / Rox / Tinelli) whom i consider to be my brothers even if we don't talk as much anymore. I also apologize to everyone who i might have hurt with words in soloq or officials or in any discords really.

There are so many other things Id like to say but tbh typing everything as I'm thinking about it is only gonna make this infinitely long. I love you all and hope all my friends who are still in the competitive scene best of luck with the future ♥️

Teiyon

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