duroppu 🐨💚demon dropbear vtuber | TWITCH ARC · @duroppucharming
27th Feb 2023 from TwitLonger
I was sexually assaulted live on stream.
I've been unsure how to talk about this in a public setting because what happened to me has been deeply traumatic and I am still unpacking what this has done to me. My environment is not helping me and although I have one person irl supporting me - that's it. I have no family or people close to me. All my other friends who lived in this house have told me I am being dramatic and they have no emotion or empathy towards what happened because it did not happen to them. That's a quote. They will not help with anything to do with this to pursue it legally, including witness statements of past harassment and want nothing to do with this situation.
As the title says, I was sexually assaulted whilst live on stream. It was non physical but what they call aggravated voyeurism in which someone I live with refused to leave my space or look away whilst I was naked after forcing themselves inside said space.
I live in a share home of what I thought were friends, however we have one retired male who has tried to get into my space when I have been naked before, after a shower, by trying to break down the door. To make matters worse, the witnesses will not testify and are treating me like I am mentally unwell for wanting to pursue this because his behaviour has escalated and he has no remorse, meaning he will likely do it again.
In this instance the man was standing outside my window during an extremely terrible heatwave when my window was open and I was naked, trying to yell at me about house affairs and trying to argue with me telling him to leave. It went on for 5 minutes and he would not look away or remove himself.
I have been quite vocal about having Multiple Sclerosis, which is a disease where your immune system attacks the nerves in your brain, spine and eyes. The disease also comes with an extreme sensitivity to heat. Every time I have had a relapse which usually lasts for months of relearning how to train my body to walk, talk and retraining my motor skills, it has been due to overheating. I feel hotter than it actually is, which paired with a heatwave is a recipe for health issues.
Because of this, my window which faces a large brick wall, was open and it was no secret I am not wearing clothes to keep cool. He left the house to come to my window and abuse me. He was staring directly at me and would not remove himself from my space or turn around despite my very obvious distress.
He actually alerted me by saying my name, which was lucky because I muted myself on stream. Immediately, as soon as I saw him looking at me, I broke down crying and asked him to leave, telling him that I was naked, ect. All the things you do when you are having an extremely traumatic ordeal.
He refused to leave or even look away. He would not turn around or avert his eyes. I was live on stream streaming Oblivion at the time of this and due to being unsteady due to the heat, I could not move. I was trapped like this for about five minutes.
When the man had decided he had terrorized me enough, he left the backyard and came back into the house. I grabbed a towel and ran to the only other housemate in the house at the time - they were asleep as it was 6am and guess what? They were naked due to the heat and had to get dressed.
However, whilst knocking on the door, the retired man that had assaulted me then came out whilst I was screaming and physically forced himself into my space. He reached out his hands into my face, hovering centimetres from my face and blocking my vision out. I am below average height and this man had at least 100kg+ on me and is tall. I could not see, was traumatized and was trying to fight him to remove his hands. He would not remove his hands. He forced his hands right in my face, ignoring and fighting against my attempts to remove his hands from my space and vision. This went on for an extended period of time and I could not back away because he would move closer to me. In fact, the more I fought, the closer his body got.
We called the police and he told them I was lying about it even happening, in fact he told them this is an ongoing house issue to avoid being arrested. Since then, he was also trying to, and has successfully, sown the seeds of doubt within all of the roommates minds who have returned from the house and the gaslighting from all sides is unbearable. There are at least 3 different versions of this story, but all of them are aimed at disempowering me and making me sound insane and no-one except the witness from last night will stand up for me in a house 7 people. It is now evolving into him leaving his room when he knows I am out and forcing himself into my space despite me asking him to leave. He is trying to provoke a physical altercation because he thinks he will get me kicked out if I hit him, which might have been why he put his hands in my face to begin with.
He is currently leaving the back door wide open all day and night, which may not sound like much, but he is aware my job is streaming, so there is expensive gear in my room and we are not in a good neighbourhood. He does not care if it makes me feel unsafe and has laughed at the idea. He only leaves his room when he hears my door open and tries to get close to me. We close the backdoor and 20 minutes later, it would be open again.
The gaslighting around me is unbelievable and I'm afraid I am developing some kind of post traumatic stress from the environment.
I need to reiterate - I am not coping. I need help, even if it's just supporting words right now. I am breaking down into a mess every couple of hours and I need legal advice.
I cannot afford either as I am disabled and physically unable to work due to the serious nature of my disease and I am scared. I feel so unsafe in my own room and under this roof. These people who I thought were my friends have turned into the most callous, unemotional victim blamers and honestly, I think I need to move.
Please, if you can, support me. It doesn't have to be monetary, but words are free. For those that do find a way to donate, please reach out because I will make you a little emote or a scribble. I may open a little emote shop for a limited time to earn some money for my legal and therapist bills.
The most important thing to me is that I really need some positivity right now, I just need to know I am not insane. This feeling of fighting the gaslighting and losing control, needing to physically fight for my own space and feeling like I am unable to have rights over my own body is making me lose control of my mental.