Gianni Matragrano · @GetGianni
11th Jun 2022 from TwitLonger
About JSJ
I've been avoiding talking about this for years because honestly, it's a very difficult subject for me and it's going to take a lot of time out of my schedule to get into. I may regret writing this, but, I gotta. It has fucked with me for one too many days. I've put up with continued hate messages from JSJ over the past couple years, but now it seems he's going around spreading misinformation about me so I have to set the record straight. I hate the way this feels, JSJ has genuinely always been one of my voice acting heroes, and in a lot of ways, he still is. I've learned to live with one of my heroes hating me, but having to do public drama with a hero is a bit new to me, so please bear with me, I don't feel good. I might be a little wordy or say some stuff too many times. I'm nervous. But I feel like I have to tell the *full* story if I'm gonna do this. I'll be attaching photos of the convos and comments I'm discussing here.
Let me be clear right now, I'm not out to cancel the guy, he hasn't done anything truly awful, no really serious harassment, no extremely inappropriate comments, and I do understand where he's coming from in his feelings. This is not a reveal that JSJ is some monster - as far as I can tell he's a really solid dude and I've stood up for him to the people around me more times than I can count at this point. I don't hate him. I want him around. I still look up to him.
On January 21st, 2020, I uploaded a silly little video where I voiced tweets from the incredible Twitter account @QUOTESOFDUKE. It got more traction than I'd ever seen in my time of what was, at the time, nearly a decade of doing VO (since I was like 17). I'd always been an underground VA from Newgrounds. That's where I started, and where I still am honestly, though a bit less than I used to be. I went from what was like 600 followers (gathered over like 7 years on Twitter) to like 1400 in a week. To me, this was incredible. I reckoned folks followed because they wanted more of this, so I decided to do more of it, and continue dubbing the tweets as a little weekly series called "Duke Quotes" in which I would also showcase fanart folks submitted to me for it. The series was generally well liked, though not as wildly successful as the first video. But I kept doing it until around August 2020 when JSJ himself started voicing tweets from the same account (but without showcasing fanart like I did, and often without crediting the Twitter account that wrote the quotes, which honestly always bothered me so I'm finally complaining about it here), and then I stopped the series because I felt like it would be redundant for me to do it if the ACTUAL Duke was also doing it.
I kept going with various Duke stuff until about March 25th 2020, when he left a comment on one of my Twitter videos speaking pretty negatively about my impression (the comment was deleted a bit after I replied). I told him I agreed (which I have always done to anyone who asked) that my impression wasn't very good, and that I would stop if he wanted me to. He told me that he was just a bit jealous I got so much attention, apologized for his ego, and expressed that he liked me. I asked in a replying comment to clarify if he wanted me to stop doing the Duke impression, to which he did not reply.
So I stopped doing Duke entirely anyway to be safe. This was a really hard choice to make. The people around me really wanted me to keep doing Duke memes, but I was afraid to piss off JSJ, because well, he's a hero of mine. Also, I had just begun trying to do VO full-time the month prior, so I didn't wanna blacklist myself immediately. After a month I realized that I should man up and just ask him myself in DMs. So I did, and on April 16th 2020, he told me that I rock, and to keep on doing them. So I resumed all my Duke memes, and the Duke Quotes series. Then in July he asked me not to use Duke for anything political, which I thought was a little odd to request specifically since I don't even work on the IP officially, but understandable given my rising popularity, though I hadn't voiced anything political to prompt it. I was pretty nervous about this conversation and was kinda cringe and overly wordy in my reply, sorry, this is a little embarrassing to post but I'm doing it anyway since I'm trying to be open and honest here.
I expressed that even stuff like Trans Rights I was, at the time, hesitant about doing VO with characters I don't voice because I felt like it might come off more like weak virtue signalling... Since then I've come around to realizing how nice it is for trans folks to see that kind of support, even if it is from my cheap cardboard cutouts of the characters. Also, even when I sent it I knew I worded this wrong, I said I wouldn't use my characters to "lobby any serious point" but I meant to say like General Political Stuff, the way I worded it looks like I don't think Trans Rights is serious and I really hate that I said it like that. I'm sorry about that, and I'm sorry I held back on vocal support there for a while with my silly impressions. I'm a stupid person who overthinks things, it's a dangerous but tragically common combo. This tangent doesn't have much to do with the JSJ debacle but since I'm putting those messages out there I should probably explain them because they look terrible now that I read them back and I feel bad.
Anyway, then things get a little weird. I'll be honest, I can't track any of this down now because he would often comment something negative about my impression or me in general, then delete it before anyone interacted (I'd see it but choose not to interact because I didn't know what to say and wanted to see what would happen), or folks might start to dogpile him for being a killjoy and then he'd delete it. I didn't take screencaps, this WASN'T like a constant barrage of harassment or anything, but once in a while, I'd get a nice little middle finger in my notifications from JSJ. I didn't know what to say because I didn't know what had changed, why his sudden change of heart, and then I'd see the tweets get deleted, so I thought "eh, maybe he was drinking, had a mood swing, I've been there, let it go". On April 23rd 2021 he sent me a message on Instagram threatening that Randy Pitchford was going to come for me because I had a Patreon. I did a quadruple-take to make sure it was actually him DMing me. Like, what the fuck do I even say to that?
I dunno, I just chose to keep my nose to the grindstone, keep focusing on my own damn work, and try to stay out of his hair as much as I could. Avoid being in the same room as him. For example I'd guest on some streams where he and I might possibly be a guest, I'd tell them that if they could get him, let me know and I'd silently cancel because I didn't wanna bug him (but without getting into the drama with the host, I'd just vaguely suggest I thought he didn't like me very much). I figured fuck it, a hero of mine hates me, but I can live with that, just leave the dude alone, try to avoid war, keep the peace. It's not like I'm out here sniping the role from him, I could never replace him as Duke, nobody could. And it's also not like it'd make sense to stop my fan content at this point, because by 2021, I'd spent a year building up a sizeable fanbase who loved my silly Duke memes, it'd be insane to just suddenly tell them "Sorry nvm."
Not to mention, in VO, impressions are super common, it's pretty basic in the industry. I've been on five DEATH BATTLE episodes for Rooster Teeth. I think. Maybe more. All impressions. Hell, it's how he himself started on radio, by just kinda impersonating voices he thought sounded good. (Again, JSJ has been a hero of mine, so I've watched interviews and learned some stuff I really treasured from what he's said about his own story.) But you can't just erase that entire part of the industry on a whim. And I also think about like... what if someone popped up with impressions of characters I voice officially? Would I really go out of my way to kick them down? No, that sounds crazy to me. If someone is having fun with, I dunno, Gabriel from ULTRAKILL, why would that bother me? If the IP needs to be defended, that's New Blood's business.
Even if I did full on personal commissions for characters I voice officially, I'd still be the actual VA, folks will want me specifically, I wouldn't "lose business". But I don't even do full on personal commissions for characters I voice officially, I always felt like it's not my character to license out like that. Don't wanna break any contracts. I don't own the character, I just work the role (and love every second of it). Creatively, I want folks to fuck around. Try to voice Gabriel, have fun with it, make him do a bible study, make it funny. I have a whole YouTube channel with over 600,000 subscribers (and still no ads) dedicated to that philosophy of just fucking around.
Throughout all of this, I had a lot of conversations with a lot of folks in and around the scene. I have always defended JSJ. Even tried promoting his stuff for a while, though I stopped once I decided to try to stay out of his hair. A lot of fans say he's "lost it" with the Duke voice, I don't really agree with that, I think he still sounds great. I can hear what they mean about it sounding a bit different, less grit, but he's still the King to me. Who else you gonna get? Me? I don't think so. A lot of folks (some who might surprise you) tell me they like me as Duke MORE than they like JSJ, I think they're just being nice, I think he's the real deal, I'm just the fun shitposting Duke, that's what I've always said. A lot of folks tell me he's a "boomer brained" egotistical ass. Let me tell you what I really think about JSJ...
I think he's great. I think he does legendary work which I clearly take inspiration from, and not just with Duke. I remember starting VO over a decade ago and just listening to voice files for Duke Nukem on YouTube because he sounded so cool. I remember thinking about how cool he sounded when I was a kid playing Time To Kill on my PS1. I've never met him (never been able to afford a convention or anything) but I have been following JSJ on social media and stuff for a while, and I think he's a really solid guy with good values. He seems honest, maybe a little emotional sometimes. He honestly reminds me of my mom in that way. I love my mom. He outwardly supports trans rights and similar progressive stuff. That rocks. Despite all his event stuff, cruises (I've never been able to afford a cruise but I hear cruises in general can get crazy), conventions, etc, I've never ONCE heard any wild stories of abuse or grooming or weird sex crimes or anything, which disappointingly feels like a fucking rarity some weeks. Thank God for a guy who's not a sex criminal. On that alone, we need more men like JSJ. He's clearly a great guy who does great work and he is still one of my heroes. Duke Nukem clearly means a lot to him. I understand his dislike of my stupid bullshit.
But he's also continuing to spread hate about me. On Jun 23rd 2021 (the day I did the Duke Nukem "Shrimp Bastards" KinoFabino video), he DM'd me and told me that I said I wouldn't put my videos on Twitter anymore. I had absolutely no fucking idea what he was talking about, since the last we spoke of it a year prior, he told me to keep on trucking. I didn't wanna argue with him, again, I didn't know what to say, so I never replied. My philosophy about people hating me is to let hating me be *their* business, not mine. I hoped maybe he was drinking and I'd get an apology in a week or something. Maybe I should have replied, but I figured what was the point? He was clearly convinced of this in the same DM window where he could scroll up and see he said the opposite, and with all the negative comments I'd been seeing, I figured even if I could show him what he said previously, clearly for some reason he didn't like me *now*. I guess maybe he was just trying to be nice at first but could only bite his tongue for so long as I continued to get more and more support. But he never talked to me about any of that. It was like a switch, man. Just suddenly, the hero who I thought liked me, hated me. I figured "welp that's how that is now I guess."
But the hate continued. More little negative comments here and there, often deleted. Again, not DOZENS of them, but enough that I could never just forget this which is all I wanted to do. I got another one like just last week on Instagram, though this one's still up I think. Still stings a little, even this many later. I mean obviously it's not traumatizing, I'm fine, but, it sucks. A bit ago, I'd gotten a DM from someone informing me that at some kind of panel or event, JSJ was telling people that he was fine with me doing Duke stuff, but he just wished I wouldn't monetize it. I have to be honest, based on all the conversations and everything, I don't think that's the case. He himself told me he's jealous of the attention I get, which I can understand because it's *his fuckin character*. But I don't just get attention at this point because I'm a great Duke, hell when I first started with Duke I REALLY sucked as him (I'm a lil better now I think). I get attention now because I'm a good Lots Of Things, it's because I like memes, it's because I'm always deep in the Retro FPS scene, it's because folks like the characters I voice officially, it's because I try to be honest and down to Earth with folks, it's because I support indies, it's because I have good taste in bad games, it's because folks share my love of Columbo, it's because I support the fuck outta Trans Rights, and most of all, I get attention because I'm fucking lucky, and for a decade of VO, I *didn't* get much attention. I just stuck around long enough for Lady Luck to give me the thumbs up instead of the finger. That's all any career is. Just stick around. And I stuck around.
If he himself thinks my impression sucks so much ass (and again I don't entirely disagree), then what's the fucking harm in me continuing to do it? You can't have it both ways, man. Either my impression sucks and it's not a threat, or it's so good that it's so much of a threat I need to wield it within some rulebook I was never provided a copy of. I mean shit, I've never even worked with Gearbox (the current Duke IP owner). I'd honestly like to, I like Gearbox games, but I guess with this little report I can probably kiss that opportunity goodbye since I'm planting myself firmly on the shitlist of one of their favorite stars. I might as well say this here, I could actually spend a while defending Gearbox despite the DNF debacle; I bet they actually *could* make a really great Duke game, the team is clearly talented, for all I know Randy isn't as bad as the headlines and memes make him out to be, and also, fuck it, I'll say it now just because I don't want folks to think I'm just kissing Gearbox's ass here, I think Duke belongs at 3DR. I believe Frederik Schreiber's passion for Duke Nukem is so legitimate and dedicated, he might even care as much as JSJ does. I feel anyone who knows the man could tell you this. I like him, maybe I'm wrong, but it's what I believe. 3DR is doing incredible stuff in the Retro FPS space. A lot of people will disagree with me on this stuff and it doesn't have much to do with JSJ, but hell man, while we're here, I might as well just say it now and be 100% honest with people so everyone knows I'm not just here to chew ass. I'm here to kick gum. And I'm all out of ass.
He's worried about me making money on Duke? Are you kidding me? If I had run ads on that channel, I would have made life changing money which would mean I could have afforded the move I need to one of the creative hubs where all the VO work actually is by now (ain't shit in Ottawa dude), and the funniest part is, without a Patreon, I never would have had JSJ question my "Duke Related Income" in the first place. Some days I wish I had run them fucking ads, man. But I'll stay the course on that and keep the channel ad-free, because I promised my viewers I would. My income is mostly from miscellaneous indie devs who just like my work enough to want me in their low budget game, and once in a while I get lucky and book something on an amazing "higher tier" project, like a bigger name game or an anime or something. I'm auditioning constantly. I'm not raking it in. I have a slowly falling Patreon with no exclusive content that serves as an open tip jar (though the voice files of the videos were exclusive for a year, but no "Actual Content", and now it's all Public anyway), and once in a while, some private personal commissioner wants The Stupid Impression Shitpost Duke to say something really stupid and I make like $50. Oh yeah and I say dumb shit in funny voices on Twitch.
That's the entirety of my "Duke Related Income". I'd never voice the blonde himbo bastard again if I could trade it for the kind of solid career JSJ has had. I wish I could even go on a fucking cruise, no less produce a business for it like he has. Not that he's rich, but I envy that kind of security. I hustle every month to make sure the bills are paid. No royalties are coming in for me. But I know I'm young, I have a lot of hard work ahead of me to try to get to where he's at. I understand and respect that. His work history is beyond what I can even imagine, what with radio and everything, I know. He's earned his spot. I just wish he'd stop making time in his busy schedule to remind me that he hates me, and to tell folks things about me that didn't happen. I posted that tweet about the DNF Restoration mod and one of the first QRTs I saw was of someone saying I promised JSJ I wouldn't do the Duke voice anymore, saying "Oh yeah this Gianni guy is so honorable" and calling me a jackass.
That's the straw when I decided it was time to sit down and write this. I've been avoiding this subject for two years now. It's always been at the back of my mind, keeping me uneasy. I hate doing this, but I'm tired of carrying this bad energy on me. I shouldn't care this much. But I can see that the more I don't defend myself, the further and further the misinformation will spread. Enough is enough. I'm not replacing JSJ as Duke Nukem. Many people would rather have LGR if anyone, and honestly sure go nuts, LGR seems cool as hell and probably *does* sound more like Duke than I do. But MOST people, myself included, want JSJ as Duke Nukem. I'm just some random asshole who loves stupid ass memes on the internet dicking around with a silly voice, I never claimed I was anything more when it came to Duke and I sure as hell am not making enough money on him for it to be worth the stress of fighting an industry legend. Duke is one character out of many I love. My hope is to voice thousands of characters. I just think he's fun and there's no good reason I should have this much piss in my Cheerios for it.
Jon, if you're reading this, I don't know what you want from me, man. Stop doing Duke stuff? I think it's an unreasonable demand to begin with, but especially with the point we're at with it, too many people love me doing it now. It might have been reasonable in 2020 when I asked you, but you said go ahead with it. Thank God you did, because if you told me no, so many people would love Duke so much less. A lot of fun memes would have never existed. I'm sorry for upsetting you. I'm sorry for doing this big callout post. But it's not right to kick me around like this. I look up to you a lot. But I have to publicly defend myself now and clear the air, because of how you've handled this. I don't need you to like me, or even respect me, but you could at least leave me well enough alone. Block me if that's what it takes. Tell folks you don't wanna talk about me, tell them my impression sucks and leave it at that. That's fine.
I don't want a war with you. In fact, what I really want, is to just be cool with you. I'd love to at least be neutral with you. Fellow professionals in the same industry. I've learned VAs are supposed to have each other's backs. In a lot of private convos, I know I've had your back. Maybe one day, you'll have mine. Or maybe you just hate me. That's fine too, but if so... Leave me out of it. I prefer to focus on good connections, not bad ones. Fighting is stupid. There's work to do.