Walker · @walkero_o
23rd May 2022 from TwitLonger
Taking an indefinite break from competing in CS
Taking an indefinite break from competing in CS
I'm not sure in all honesty if I'll be coming back or not but at this current point I've completely lost my passion to compete. My previous teammates know I've had a lot of financial issues and the practice schedule I've had since joining an ECL team prevents me from having a full-time job since most *ECL* teams practice from 12pm - 6/7pm PST (or around there) and it's tough as fuck to find something that fits that schedule and can allow me to have weekends off for qualifiers and what not, it's possible but very unlikely from what I've searched around for. I've been giving it my all while being in a tough spot financially all this time and I can just no longer put that stress on myself at this point. As much as I want to commit to getting better and growing with a team, it just isn't possible currently. Props to all the guys out there grinding in the scene under tough circumstances. To be fair, I think most of the scene is in a rough spot when it comes down to it, and I respect the fuck out of anyone making it through the hard times, unfortunately it's just become too much for myself.
I've never even thought about quitting before, always had a passion to compete and never at all have I thought about giving up. My mental health is not in the best spot at all, been going through a lot of shit recently & this past month has fucked me up. My mental has affected myself in and out of the game for as long as I can remember and it's time to finally take care of myself a bit. I think it's best for me to take a step back and really decide what I want to do with my future. I don't see myself pursuing a career in gaming as a player at the moment, I really picked up gaming as an escape when my mom passed and it lead to some great memories & friendships that will last a life time.
I had a lot of good times and I'm not necessarily quitting, just going to be taking a break for awhile and if I get that passion to compete again and my schedule allows it I may come back. For now, thanks for the good times. I'll still be around streaming and playing CS n other games with the homies.
Remember to take care of your mental health, it's something I've always struggled with and has always affected my attitude/confidence in-game and in my everyday life. I think it's a huge thing that isn't talked about enough in the CS community but is ultimately a huge reason I've decided to let go of competing for now.