Fontaine || VAuthor 🖋📖 · @Font_Argalion
23rd Apr 2022 from TwitLonger
Addressing something important + Explanation why I feel down lately
CW: Depressive Thoughts, Mentions of Non-Con/Rape
Hello, Fontaine here.
As you may have recently noticed, I've been acting very, very emotional as of late, and it's because a lot of stuff IRL had piled up onto me on a short span of time and came crashing down just as fast as it did.
I had a pet of 7 years pass away, a lot of issues with house construction that further hindered me coming back to stream, the former issues causing great emotional stress to my family which somehow got funneled towards me that day, and many more so, my mental and emotional state got very fragile the past 2-3 days.
I had vented it out to my community in my discord server about the problems I had, and surely enough they understood it.
However, this is where things got worse.
What got me snapped and broke as a whole is when one of them had brought up another VTuber in my server, and compared to me at how I had an awful design and a "cringe" VTuber backstory, and all other negative things in comparison to this other PH VTuber who had all the wonderful traits.
I felt insulted and really, really hurt. I never knew they had viewed me this way. They were people I thought who I had my back mentally and emotionally, and THIS is how they poke fun at me?
Partly it's my fault. I had been a huge pushover with the "chat bullies VTuber" stigma or trend which had allowed them to think it was okay to bully me BEYOND streaming to the point they crossed so many lines.
For example, an issue that I had let slip, someone wrote a rape/non-con fanfiction about me on Ao3. At first I had ignored reading it because it had disgusted me first hand, but now I realize I shouldn't be ignoring shit like this.
From now on, I'll be becoming much, MUCH more stricter when it comes to streaming and managing my community. I shouldn't have allowed people to disrespect and treat me like this just because I wanted to look appealing to the community.
For my old community, you know what you did, and if you see this as an overreaction to a "joke", fuck off. I don't need you nor do I want you in my streams or community anymore.
Cheers, and thank you for reading my story. I'll recover from my trauma by next week and form a newer, much more firm stance towards myself and streaming, and never allow anyone to disrespect me or make me a pushover anymore.
Peace.
-Fontaine