Kiara's Purikura Rant

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Whenever I went to an arcade in Japan the only thing I did was take purikura. I always walked by – you know, in arcades it’s usually when you walk through the – the gaming portion, you eventually end up in, uh, at some purikura booths. The gaming things, they always look fun but I never really, um, take time to use them because the reason why I’m usually in there is because me and my friend usually want to take purikura. Whoever I’m with, usually a girl, we usually want to take purikuras to commemorate it.

“What is it?” It’s like a photo booth, but like, a cute one where, um, the machine will kind of, like, “cutify” you by making your eyes much bigger and your skin much shinier, and um, your legs much longer and it’s really cute, and then you – after you take the photos – it’s perfect lighting, by the way – you move over to the other side and you start decorating and there’s a limited time, and then, and then, after decorating with, like, stickers and shiny letters and all that, you, eh, and choosing layouts, there’s, like, a lot of fancy cute layouts, really cute graphic design, and you go to the other side of the booth, and then you wait a little bit and it gets printed out while you’re typing in your email address and it will, like, then send it to your email address and you also get the – get it, like, on a strip, like in a proper photo booth, and then you cut it, then usually after it’s printed out, you would both go to the table, and there’s usually, like, one or two table close to the purikura booth with a scissor, but the scissor is, like, um, on a chain to the, to the, um, table, and then y-you’re like “Okay who – do you wanna cut it, or should I cut it?” and then you usually go “Ah, I’ll cut it, it’s okay” then you cut it really nicely through the middle, and then you say “Uh, I think this one is yours” and then “I’ll take the one that’s mine and I’ll put into my, into my, into my purse” and then we’re both happy, and then you’re like “Yay! Look how we’re looking really cute! Only on those purikuras because they make us a million times cuter”.

Actually, you know what? As a, as a foreigner, it makes you look really crazy cause those purikura booths, they’re usually, like, um, um, programmed in a way that they look really good on – on - on Asian features, face - facial features, um, but as a foreigner going in there, it always makes me look really really fucking crazy, like a fucking alien. Me and my foreigner friends would always laugh about how ridiculous we look. And then sometimes you can, like, choose, like how – how much it’s gonna “alienate” you, like, there’s, like, options like “natural” and even natural is fucking ridiculous but it’s so cute I still like it, yeah. Anyway, I have a lot of purikura, I have, like, a box of all of my purikura that I took, uh, over the course of the past many, many years and it’s nice – a nice memory to look back upon and there’s so many different purikura machines, like, there’s actually a huge fucking, um, business behind that. I once worked with a purikura company in Japan before though, um, and – and – and I – I know how the process is of creating one, and they have so many - they put out so many different every month, so if you go, ehh, to – to the arcades no so often, then – then - then, ehh, then you will see every time you go there there’s new ones.

Oh, also the interesting thing is, maybe you didn’t notice, but, um, you know, the arcade part you can go no matter what gender you are, but sometimes some places that you’re not allowed to go to purikura part if you’re not a girl, yeah, because I guess a lot of guys go there to pick up girls, or they used to, so they made it so that only girls are allowed for some. But then, you know, who wanna take purikura with, um, with their boyfriends, so, uh, there other – there – there *are* other places that allow boys as well, and then you go in there with your boyfriend I guess, but then, the thing is, like, it really – it really doesn’t look good with men, like, it looks ridiculous with men. It – it works with girls, but some – there’s some purikuras that are made, uh, to be used with – with your boyfriend, if you have a boyfriend, um, so then you can choose, like, on which side th – the, um, of the, um, camera the boy is standing, so that guy will be photoshopped, like, a little bit more in a, in a nnnn, not so feminine way, ehh, but it was still creepy but it’s funny, it’s cute, it’s a cute memory.

*Deep breath* Um, anyway, maybe I should stop. I love purikura. I love purikura. Haven’t used it in a long time, though. Actually, I used to, um, my problem was when I lived in Japan, that, um, I had a, I had a different phone can – contract. I had like a, I don’t know, it was more like a pay, um, I don’t know how to explain it, but I didn’t have a proper phone contract for a while, and – and – and, you know, uh, when you choose the email address that they send the purikura data to, um, it only gives you, like, certain, uh, choices, like, you can only use, like, um… uh, Japanese phone contract emails that come, like, with the phone contract, yeah, it’s kind of weird, so I could usually not download it but I would always send the code to, like, a Japanese friend that I had, I would be like “Hey you, sorry to annoy you again, but I just took some purikura with a friend, can you download this for me?” yeah, and they would send it to me. Mm. Yeah, it was weird, you can’t type in, like, a Gmail address or whatever, it has to be like a Softbank address, for example.

Anyway, I should stop.

They would always be so happy, though. They would be like “Yeah, I’ll download it!” and then she would send it to me and she would be like “Kiara, you look so cute in these, ehh!” and then I’m like, “No, I look like a fucking alien but okay, thank you!” Yeah, it’s indeed kinda cute, alien, but still cute.

Anyway, I should stop. Anyway, anyway, I should stop. Oh! You can also - sometimes you can make videos too and they’re really cute.

Anyway, I should stop.

Oh! And also, th – those photo booths, one thing that’s special about them too, and different from normal photo booths from Western countries, is that, like, there’s, like, really really annoying and – and excited voices, hyped up cute voices that are like “Ah! Let’s take a photo! Let’s stand like this! Oh! So cute! Next photo! Ah! Three, two, one, go! Oh! Wonderful! You did such a great job! Now let’s try this pose! Oh! Best friends forever! Ah! Now please move on to the next booth. Please don’t forget anything a – any of your belongings in this booth, and, and carefully go to the next booth, thank you! – to the other side of the booth and decorate your purikura! Oh! Yeah! Welcome to the decoration! Please use these stamps! Yeah! All these are so cute! Oh! Seasonal stamps! Yay! Very cute! Thank you very much! Ah, ah, so cute! Wonderful! Ah! Kawaii, kawaii! Ooaabublbl” and then it would be like “Ah! You only have ten seconds remaining! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Thank you! Please move to the other side of the booth. Bye bye!” and so on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, I should stop.

Oh! I wanna take purikura with the girls once we’re all in Japan together. Mm. I never took purikura with Calli. Maaaan… Yeah, we never took purikura together, what the fuck? And once I get them over to Japan we’re gonna take purikura. Yoooo.

Okay, okay, I’ll go now.

“Boss I’m late, what’s purikura?” Oh, come on! And in German we say “Auf Wiedersehen!”
When you go to Japan, take some purikura, but, but look out first if you’re allowed to go in there as a boy. Mm. Sometimes you’re not. And you will shock the girls. You’ll shook the girls, the schoolgirls, they’ll be like “Kyaaaaa~! Kyaaaaa~!” I mean, they won’t really say anything. They won’t really be like “Go out. Leave.” They won’t have the courage to.

But anyway, bye bye!

Also, also, did you know that usually around the purikura place there’s often always a cre – crepe – crepe place close to it. Not always, though. I mean, Japanese, they – oh my – don’t even get me started on Japanese style “crepus” , crepes. They’re amazing. Oh my – don’t even – don’t –

Anyway, I should stop.

Ohh, maybe I should make a stream where I try to recreate the Japanese-style, Harajuku-style crepe! Oooooooooooooooh, let’s buy, let’s buy a crepe plate! I was thinking about that anyway a – cause I saw an ad in Amazon, there’s like these – these – these – these crepe, umm, heat plate thingies. Yeah, there’s round ones. Mmmmmmmm. Oh, I should try. I’m not gonna use hot glue!

Anyway, I should … stop.

Oh! We could use raspberries from my balcony once they’ve, once they are, umm, growing.

A – A – A – Anyway…

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