👽Sorry そり🐮| Cowlien | Vtuber COMMISSIONS FULL · @sorry_art
8th Feb 2022 from TwitLonger
2 announcements so i can stop looking back ;;
Over the last 4 years of being in this community, i feel like ive grown as a person. I've gotten to know so many amazing people and even make a community of my own. I want to come out with some stuff i've been keeping to myself and start off the new year with not looking back anymore.
I have a stupid amount of anxiety over stuff like this, But after talking with a few others, i've realized a lot of what I have anxiety over shouldn't be stopping me from the things I want to do. I think a lot of people I'm close to would accept me for who I am and how I became who I am. They'd accept my past faults, and help me move forward.
Hopefully me typing all this isn't like.. hard to understand either?? idk.
Ahm, so the first one is that I'm trans (surprise lol).
I'm transMALE (female to male), I've identified this way since I was 11 and have never brought it up to people unless it was someone I extremely trusted. there are very few people in the community I've talked to about it.
It causes me anxiety and shameful dysphoria. and I've always kind of thought like,, maybe I wouldn't be entirely accepted. Or talked about behind my back and some people don't wanna deal with someone like me,,
But I've met so many wonderful people who support me no matter what and literally DON'T care what i identify as LOL.. I appreciate that so much, thank you everyone who's been so accepting.
Coming into a community that is so accepting of people coming out as trans has been SO EXTREMELY eye opening, its something so different from how i grew up with and it's why I will still have moments of feeling shame for my identity.. but I hope everyone can understand it's because of the environment i grew up in and it's something im working on.
I'm still on a journey of self discovery and maybe this will change, but for now I'm just a cute boy.
The second thing id like to say is-
I used to have an old account called "Naupiko". I was 13-18 when I first joined youtube as an animator, and it got kinda big.
It was probably the best and worst years of my younger life (being young and having 80k subscribers on youtube is overwhelming)
There were a lot of reasons that led me to stop uploading on that account, but I wanted to bring up that that was also me.
I'm not proud of everything I did back then but I've grown a lot as a person and an artist since then and hope to start making animations again this year.
that's the whole post, but here's some extra stuff id like to clear ups too!
- i made the first announcement of being trans because you'll find it out if you know my old account.
- i had a lot of bad rumor's made about me/got doxxed twice/ and got death threats.
- had a callout post about porn i drew when i was a horny teenager, but it's all stuff that ive talked about to my community on stream and im tired of feeling like i can't live my life because of it.
- also there's a rumour im white (???) im a native american/mixed POC T_T;;
ahmm i think thats everything.
I hope people can take away that i was young and the internet loved stomping out people who turned 18 and tried nitpicking everything they did as a minor as if turning 18 magically makes you an all knowing adult.
I was bullied for being openly trans as well, and the doxxing and death threats have made me an EXTREMELY anxious, shy, and cautious person when interacting with others.
ahmm,, thanks for reading.