LucenDev · @lucengame
4th Jan 2022 from TwitLonger
Putting Lucen on Hold
It's been a tough two years. We've been constantly in and out of lockdown where I live, with something like 260 days total in hard lockdown. Despite not needing to go out that much anyway, it was incredibly depressing to be in such an extended period of lockdowns, and caused me a lot of anxiety.
I have struggled a lot this year, especially with consistently working on Lucen. My motivation and discipline dried up, and I found it overwhelming to even think about. Replying to the mounting messages and emails about Lucen has become really difficult, and I apologise for leaving them so long. And for leaving this announcement so long - I hate disappointing people.
So as you can see, I've decided to put Lucen on hold. My plan is to work on some smaller projects to build up a bit more confidence in my dev, and return to Lucen in the future with a clearer vision, and the experience and budget to make it a better game. I'm sorry to disappoint those hoping to play it in the near future, but I truly believe Lucen will be a better game because of this decision. I look forward to returning to it with a fresh mind and new ideas.
For me, this situation has not been without its silver lining. The pandemic has magnified a lot of my mental health struggles and symptoms, and I recently received a diagnosis of ADHD. For those who don't know much about ADHD this might not mean much, but for me it has been really validating and eye-opening. The great news is that treatment is incredibly effective, and I'm able to focus better, organise my time, and be more consistently productive. These are all issues I had which led to Lucen being put on hold, and being able to address and manage them has made a huge difference in the short time since my diagnosis. I'm confident that when I return to Lucen I'll be far more consistent and productive working on it.
The reason I've decided to be open about my ADHD is because I had no idea what it was until someone I know spoke with me about their own ADHD diagnosis and struggles. Before I researched it and subsequently sought a diagnosis, I thought it was just something hyperactive kids had, which doesn't fit me at all. But after coming to understand what it actually is, I looked back and realised what I had been struggling with my whole life wasn't some abstract inability to cope, or a fundamental brokenness, but a wholly treatable disorder. And that was incredibly liberating. My executive dysfunction, inability to do things that weren't immediately stimulating, emotional issues, burning out easily, suddenly made so much more sense.
If you've up read to this point, thank you. Thank you for joining me on the first part of Lucen's journey, and I hope you will be there for the next part when it comes. I'll do my best to get back to all who have messaged me with queries that I haven't covered here. I so appreciate the community that has formed around Lucen, and I'm sorry to those let down by this news. When I pick Lucen back up in the future, I'll be sure to broadcast it across the usual channels (here, Twitter, Youtube)!
Much Love
Kris
For Patrons: I'm offering refunds for all of 2021. There were a few months where billing was paused, I meant to keep it that way but forgot that I needed to re-pause every month. Through Patreon I am only able to refund the last 3 months payments (Nov 21-Jan 22), so please send me a DM with your PayPal email address and Patreon username to receive refunds between Apr 2021 - Oct 2021.