assault rach · @notrxchel
29th Nov 2021 from TwitLonger
Final Statement Regarding @ OkeanosQT
This will be the last and final statement from me about this situation. Okeanos will shortly be releasing his statement, please read this before reading his. The situation that occurred in late July has resurfaced again (Late November.) Both parties, me and Okeanos (@OkeanosQT) have spoken as of yesterday (November 28th) and mutually agreed that we want to move past this.
It was hard to see a comeback so early, considering the effect his actions had on me. I developed severe trust issues and had trouble being comfortable in my own body. Since then, I have healed, not completely, but enough to let go of this situation. I do not regret anything I stood for and anything I have said because I know my emotions were valid and still are. I appreciate everyone who had helped to step up and use their platform as a voice, it gave me confidence to do so myself. But in order for me to fully heal, I need to let go and let my emotions be at peace. The events that unfolded are really hard for a 16 year old to deal with, especially with it being shared to thousands of people on the internet. I was angry that he did not give me a proper apology, I was angry that he was coming back so early, and I was angry that I had let it happen to myself. But I can't stay angry forever and I can't keep pushing away the inevitable. I need to move past it completely and let the both of us mature and heal. I understand that he is trying to change and get help. That definitely doesn't mean I am forgiving him, but it also doesn't mean that I doubt his actions and prevent him from moving past and growing as a person as well. His actions were undeniably inexcusable and something that I may never forgive or may take awhile to. But, I am starting to love myself and I have a loving boyfriend supporting me through every step of my life. I have a caring group of friends who will always be by my side.
I have the support I need and I am at peace with where my life is. Moving past all of this would be for the best and would be a big step in my healing process, but also his maturing process. I wish for him to change and understand how his actions can affect someone for life. I wish for him to grow to become a better person, so this can't happen to anyone else. He has gotten the rightful consequences and I am at peace with that.
I'm not going to lie, it definitely is really hard to let go of this entire thing because I still have parts of me that are so full of anger, but they won't be there forever. And again, I really do appreciate all the love and support I have received over the past few months, it genuinely made me feel like I was not alone during shitty times like this. I want to make it clear that I am not silencing myself or any other victims of SA or of any sort of harassment. I will forever support and use my voice to stand with victims and against harassers. My heart goes out to every single person who has struggled with similar situations or possibly even more severe ones. You are so fucking strong and I am so beyond proud of you for getting through it all. It gets better.
I love every single person in my life right now and moving on from all of this will only let me grow my capacity of love for these people and myself. I am healing and I am finally okay with letting all of this end. Thank you for reading all of this if you did, it really does mean a lot.
tldr: trying to move on