Naomi · @NaomiOop
31st Aug 2021 from TwitLonger
The Arcadum Experience
Thank you for coming to read my story, watch my recordings, and hear my support to friends who are also struggling through worse problems with the same person.
You all know I keep my nose out of drama as much as possible. But from what I’ve seen, some of my dearest friends have been treated SO heinously over the past week - and beyond that, the past 2 years - that I cannot stay silent any longer. I’m going to be concise with sharing my perspective alongside the evidence. It’s been really hard trying to parse all of this and support the other women while also attending a family member’s funeral, and I’ve been in a perpetual cycle of breaking down and coping. I will do my best here, so forgive me if anything is worded poorly. If there’s anything that needs clarification, I will address it.
These are my experiences with Arcadum.
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On Issues, January 19, 2020
1 https://gyazo.com/22f022c61f5c93169d3f99c4077f3632
2 https://gyazo.com/c94a22c5eb7f78e5ff04b43b5504b9c1
3 https://gyazo.com/f97bc4632bee0920626e80cd1bae20c3
One day out of nowhere, Arcadum started venting about his domestic issues. Normally a fine and normal thing between friends, however this is the kind of conversation that preceded a lot of what felt like pity baiting and pressuring to engage in lewd behavior, with me, and also all of the other girls that are speaking out. More on this below.
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Pent Up, June 14, 2020
1 https://gyazo.com/ccb61a830a2732959105086bcd2f5aad
2 https://gyazo.com/4d3a954e3d7a2636f257e37c17e69a93
3 https://gyazo.com/e508defdabaef84c72095ed3b19c457f
4 https://gyazo.com/e8ecb377ea419040dc80cc0378359e0e
We had been discussing a recent stream Arcadum did when he suddenly started talking about how he’s going through relationship problems, feels unattractive, how he wants to relieve the pressure, how he needs release, and how he still wants to keep him being single out of the public eye. I was very quick to jump into the supportive homie role, because I didn’t like where this was going. I recommended that he share the fact that he’s single with the world, if he was so interested in finding a fuck buddy or partner, but of course, to this day he’s still calling his girlfriend his wife. It felt like an attempt to make me pity him to the point of doing something with him. This is what happened with a lot of the other girls, although for some of them it went further - Read their stories. But it didn’t end here for me either.
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VRChat
I unfortunately don’t have any evidence of this, as I didn’t think my good friend was going to put me in an uncomfortable position like this up close and personal, and I wasn’t streaming or recording. Take this as you will, I’m not putting too much weight on this, but this is my recollection of my experience in VRChat with Arcadum some time between these conversations.
I was in VRChat and Arcadum requested on me. We went over some pleasantries, then he started talking about how pent up and repressed he was feeling. He kept saying that he was so lonely, that he’s desperate to feel like a man again, and asking me if I was lonely, if I was happy. He kept moving closer as he was saying these things, I kept moving away and trying to shift the conversation in an encouraging and friendly direction. Eventually he was like “Alright, well I gotta go. Just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing I guess.” when we hadn’t talked about D&D or any of the stuff we used to have normal friendly conversations about. And he left.There was a second i’m-sad-and-horny-pity-fest after the events on June 30th that ended similarly.
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Confession, June 30, 2020
https://gyazo.com/be177dcaeaebf271b71c092d46cec6de
This happens one (1) day after Arcadum asks Kelli Siren out (read her story for info) and gets rejected. While still publicly with Tiff, and actively talking to other women as well (read their stories for info, allegedly he asked at least two other people out that same week). In case the context isn’t enough, as you can see from the DMs, he asks to call me, and then afterwords, I thank him for telling me (about his feelings for me). In this call, he said “I would like to request to formally court you” and so on and so fourth. I turned him down because I was interested in someone. A bit down the line, I tell him I’m still here for him, I hope he’ll be able to speak up next time he has feelings for someone, and I tell him that it won’t affect our friendship. This is mostly to show evidence, and solidify the timeline.
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Recording One, January 11, 2021
The call : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1T2K2omI6lwmIaHTlK1KgjtHZyEsUDZfY/view?usp=sharing
Context before the call :
1 https://gyazo.com/51fc93bf42ec93a94af78da8b29ad5e4
2 https://gyazo.com/3ce00f55cd8109903954896e880d1c5d
Copy of “Inherent Problems with the LW” document he brings up at 33:07 and sent to me at 33:28 :
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BvC3vM8HKeKmkuL6WUfwwq0666X-4o29Kzisysn_byw/edit?usp=sharing
Timestamps, plus my thoughts and commentary regarding this conversation :
0:00 - Let the manipulation begin
2:43 - Telling me how I should act and how friendship is shown
3:00 - him telling me how to respond and feel
3:40-4:10 - Aggression. This is why it’s so hard to say ANYTHING to him. Constantly interrupting, twisting you in circles.
5:10 - Describing HIS narrative of how things went, then telling me how I SHOULD HAVE acted and felt whatnot, gaslighting.
13:00 - He’s speaking as if I deliberately came here to make him feel bad, as if I cried to guilt trip him. As if I cried to guilt trip him into an apology? I was just trying to resolve a minor conflict before friends so that it wouldn’t become a big deal. He calls himself an advanced empath lol.
He shuts down anything I try to say here, so I don’t even know what to say. Implying that the only way to resolve issues is to shut down communication, is such an abusive tactic. 15:18 “Here comes the lecture…”
*17:49 - He randomly brings Kelli into this, jumps to conclusions, sighs, gets upset, “now I’m gonna pay for that,” says Kelli is going to start taking shots at him, “You don’t know her as well as I do,” seems to imply that Kelli is a bad person that harms him and causes problems for him, and says “and please don’t message her trying to nip it in the bud cuz that will just make it worse” to try to keep me frpm communicating with her. Common manipulation tactic, isolation.
20:30 “I cant tell people what I really think, or the truth about something" “It’s not harmful thoughts, they’re hard truths.”
22:10 - Summer has heard the exact same statistics from him
*23:40 - Experiments and "I've tried to pick different ethnicities" ….. ?????????
25:25 “I don’t have the luxury of being emotional.” and also says “Nononono, it didn’t wake me up, I was already there” after mentioning multiple times that I called in the middle of the night.
27:0 "Each person has a different level of sympathy that I give them"
27:30 - My sigh of defeat. There's nothing more I can say that'll get through to him because he's talking like a sociopath
27:43 "I was a soldier"
*28:54 Talking about a hypothetical worse version of himself, “magine the destruction i could wreak, and get away with it"
29:55 "I know that my influence is palpable, and is naturally more destructive than most other people” and basically talks about how his pull/community is stronger than most other people’s. The implication of him being able to easily take someone down.
33:07 - This is the document linked above. I hadn’t read this document at this point and didn’t know what was actually in it, so I couldn’t contradict it. However I’d heard various things about Arcadum by this time, and also heard a rumor that Arcadum wasn’t paying some artists on time, and had an opinion on him, but still, smile and nod. This article is well written, and it calmly and comprehensibly outlines some issues that some people have with the living world. However, Arcadum talking about it, he keeps saying that this document was attacking the admin that put it together, that these people were attacking his community and his project… The document is written with respect and passion for Verum, but Arcadum is trying to spin it as if it’s this massive cruel uncalled-for attack when he just can’t take criticism. So, smile and nod.
*34:30 "Oh it's anonymous BUT I CAN FIND THEM. It’s not difficult. It I wanted to know who they were I would have deigned, I would’ve, I would have falsified my intention to speak with them in good faith, I would have found out who they were, and removed them from the community
The funny thing is, he never actually shared this document with his community. He hid it from everyone because it was full of valid truths. He said it was because it was cruel, attacking his staff, but there is no attack in there, there’s only support for the staff who also suffered from him.
37:30 - "attacking my admin that put the document together"
NOTHING INT HAT DOC ATTACKS HER
So much reverse hyperbole
*39:05 - “A poorly worded criticism is useless to me, I mean, like, your intention doesn’t matter if it’s not conveyed properly.”
HE SAYS THIS, but earlier he was criticizing that I mistook his banter for something bad, that the way I perceived it was not his INTENTION. Hello contradiction.
41:22 - "READ THE ROOM NEXT TIME."
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Recording Two, August 20, 2021
The call : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kiTCSswglqcNOzrifUjCgdFaWpwIfxa0/view?usp=sharing
Timestamps, plus my thoughts :
0:00 - He messaged me asking if I was there, his usual greeting before calling, and deleted his message, because he’s been spam messaging and calling everyone he knows lol. I’m aware of some of what he did at this point, I answer him already recording because I can already tell he’s going to throw some BS my way.
Says nothing about the fact that Tiffany is holding his computer hostage because she read his DMs with all of these girls.
1:00 - “I unfortunately had to treat some of my good friends very badly” because things between Tiffany and I are not going well” a la kicking every girl he’s ever chased out of Verum, out of Callous Row, and in some cases, out of a literal job.
1:30 - Gives this self-sacrificial speech about how he’s giving up his position in certain spaces so that the women he abused and tossed out can come back to things that have his name all over them. “I still did that, for them.”
2:12 - Asking me to tell him how it is. I was hiding a lot of what I really wanted to say because at this point he was willing to talk to me, I was recording, and I didn't want to shut him down to the point where he wouldn't say anything. I also didn't know JUST HOW BAD it was. I'd mostly been in touch with Kelli up to this point and she was always being the angel in the situation and hoping for the best for him. Also, a few people had said that they didn't want to speak out, and that they just wanted him to stop. So I was trying to respect the wishes of those that seemed to want this to be quiet and handled and to move on. So HENCE me treating him much better than he deserves in this call, thinking that nobody’s going to be overtly burning any bridges quite yet.. But my voice was shaking because I was so mad.
There’s a lot here. Talks about his severance package to Kelli, “I will only say bright and wonderful things about them” but he’s already had meetings where he’s warmed people that false accusations are going to be going around, calling these people liars.
Me: "And if you know now that the one thing you dont wanna lose is Tiff, then dont fuck around"
Him: "I wont, ever again." - An admission of guilt, as if any more were needed, if you’ve listened to Cri’s call with him or read any other involved persons’ DMs. At this point though, I didn’t know just how many people he’d messed with, or to what extent.
Anyway, he talks about therapy and cruel irony and so on and so forth. Offers a cameo on the stream like it’s some sort of treat for not shunning him lol, as if anyone would want to be on his stream after hearing this.
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My Ass??
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/805944131?collection=TtWTEHiKIRb9qw
1:10:55 - Arcadum randomly starts talking about a butt pic I posted on Twitter. No real commentary about this, it was just kind of awkward and uncalled for in our battle D&D space. I’m here to play games, not have my butt discussed.
2:43:40 - Keeps saying he feels like he did something wrong, but at the same time, he just… keeps talking about it.. Like please stop… Fleshcrime Omegadad > my butt.
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In Support of Kelli Siren
I was there alongside a lot of what Kelli was going through with Arcadum. We had a lot of girl talk hangouts to support one another, we shared a lot of things with one another. I was there when he was spam calling her, when he kept sending her DMs, when he would flood her with invites on VRChat while she and I were hanging out because he thought she was with a guy. Her story is long and painful as well. Seeing first-hand the distress he caused her, I can’t imagine how bad it was for all of the other girls as well.
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In Support of Folkona
Folkona is an interesting woman. I’ve had one biting disagreement with her, but I never thought she was a bad person until the following events. This is my recollection. Arcadum called me multiple times and was basically talking trash about Folkona, saying she was a liar, abuser, that she was trying to ruin his life for no reason. If you read her story, this is absolutely not true. But he was trying to get my support, for me to fight for him if she ever went public with her story. Trying to paint her in a terrible light. Other women who are posting about Arcadum have either evidence of DMs with this exact behavior, or recollections of very similar calls about Folkona. I recommend you read ALL of their testaments.
Folkona has been through a lot. A lot of her career was impacted by Arcadum as well. I don’t know her full story, and I can’t speak to her personality beyond the few days I’ve been in close contact with her, but a lot of her reputation was tarnished by Arcadum and the situation he put her in with Callous Row. If you know of her, and your view of her was also impacted by similar dialogues, I would gently advise that you look at whether your perspective of her is tainted by rumors about her, and try to look past those rumors if so. Let her personality and actions now rule your decision, rather than what you may have heard of her before.
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Closing statement
I had his back. I’d defended him in the past, before I knew all that I know now. I stayed silent for so long. I encouraged him. I tried to be a good friend of him. So did every other woman that is speaking out now, and every other woman that is too afraid of him to speak her truth. We made so much great content together. He inspired so much love for roleplay. And yet he actively made that incredible and creative space extremely unsafe, for so many women, for so long. Posting this now, I feel a deep sadness and disappointment. But I also want to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else like this. I’m going to link their tweets under this thread.
I don’t know what more to say or do.
The truth needed to be heard.