My personal history with Arcadum.

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I have never done a TwitLonger before and honestly I really hoped my first one would be a silly passion post about the latest fandom I was taking part in, instead unfortunately this is a serious post about a problem that has risen up.

I want to start this by saying that this post is not out of emotion, or malice, or anything of the sort. Awareness and sympathy for the other victims of manipulation caused by this person is my only goal. I had already come to terms with everything long ago and moved on. The only reason this post is being written is because it has come to my attention of how many other women are coming to each other realizing we were all manipulated in the same ways, and I worry if there are more that we aren’t aware of. I am far from the most hurt by this situation, so I’ll keep my post as short as possible to allow the others that were hurt more to share what happened with them.

TL;dr:
It has come to my attention that Arcadum emotionally manipulated multiple women (including myself) for comfort and sexual desires, lied to them, and now has removed and/or blocked a majority of them under the statement (at least the one given to me) to better his relationship with Tiffany. To my understanding he has cut off many business deals and canceled stream plans months in the making with multiple women, hurting their jobs as well, but I’ll leave it to them to bring up. This TwitLonger is covering my experiences with Arcadum solely.

Let me be as clear and plain as I can be and start with the beginning. I first met Arcadum through Callous Row, where he was a Dungeon Master that paid little attention to me, and we barely talked, and if we did, it was strictly about Roleplay. One day he reached out and the conversation led me to start seeing him as a potential friend that was constantly dealing with false friendships and trust that fame attracts, and he leaned into that. He knew he could rely on me and say things with confidence that I wouldn’t share, most of which I still feel like I can't share even now, and I spent the time comforting him about various subjects. We sat for a short time and I’d play music and lend an ear and we would vent back and forth.

After the subject of my rape and divorce came up, either by conicidence or by choice, Arcadum started becoming much more intimate.

For those of you that don’t know, in 2019 I was raped by my husband at the time, which was the reason I finally moved a couple years ago right before Covid started. This has led to multiple rough points in my life, leaving me very emotionally vulnerable. I admit because of this event I was easy to manipulate, as someone with a need to find connections with people and find comfort, it can be easy to take advantage of that. Arcadum did, knowingly or not.

Again, I am writing this with a cool head, I understand and accept that this has happened and originally just wanted to move on.

Arcadum made sure I felt like I was special, the only one he could trust. He insisted he felt so happy and delighted that I would consider him a friend, and continued to push that I was second to no one. I gave cuddles and support because to my understanding he was going through horrible relationship troubles and was planning on separating and moving, something that was parallel to what I was going through at the time. Many times he talked about getting a giant streamer house for him and all of his friends and he wanted me to move there as well, which I always said I was flattered by the offer but I wouldn’t leave my current roommate at the moment. He even asked if I would date him, and I said it was too early in a friendship for an answer on that, and he cried and started listing issues going wrong in his life. Though I found out later that these events happened around the same time as some others.

Arcadum continued to say I was the only one he could trust, that we had a personal friendship, and wanted personal lap dances. Even though I am Asexual, I used to pride myself in my dances and I thought they were great for folks to distract themselves and as a form comfort. There were a couple times where he would ask, and I said I’d rather just talk as friends. He would apologize and say how much of a terrible person he was for asking and in the same sentence insist it was because I was so special and he loved me and how badly he wanted it, and the subject stayed until he either received attention or had to suddenly dip out to another world or offline.

Most of our interactions were either voice calls, or within VRChat, and as such I don’t have any screenshots of interactions other than him editing responses to photos, or a few statements of him saying I’m special and second to no one. I never thought to screenshot at the moment as I truly believed him and even after some time, I thought it was just me getting stepped over, and I had no plans of ever bringing this to light. Now scrolling up in our DM history after our latest call about “how much he trusts me and needs me on his side” do I see that he had deleted and edited everything that could possibly be taken in a way not in his favor.

https://i.gyazo.com/a962f3ab18651f55a3493c1aeb0481a1.mp4
Video evidence of him editing a response over a year later- specifically the day he called and kicked me from other servers.
https://i.gyazo.com/4c36f457447866958e7fcc3ee4cb3330.png
Obvious deleting of posts
https://i.gyazo.com/2b2dfa9d43cbfc6eb4bffdc53bc34d97.mp4
A post he didn’t edit, him being lonely and looking at my pics. For full context, the pics in question are clothed ass pics (the running joke of the reason all my models are thicc.)
https://i.gyazo.com/70030e5968ff29fdcea35275aa938a62.png
Screenshot of his last call where he unfriended and kicked me from servers, providing a date.

When I confronted him about what he was doing with another woman (at the time I knew of one other he was visiting, and I thought it was only her) he would immediately get defensive and say that what we had wasn’t unique, and how he wasn’t lying about anything as he never said I was the only one he came to for comfort. I understood and started distancing myself as I thought he found someone he was actually interested in and backed off, and didn’t want to deal with anything anymore. However he continued to ask for me later, and I insisted on staying as only a friend, because I was still under the mindset that he just didn’t have genuine friends, and at the very least I could offer that. However when we hung out after that, there was minimal time talking where he would change the subject to be more than friendly, and when I did not return the energy he suddenly had to leave. There were also times where we were hanging out and I would bring up Callous Row related subjects, and he would outburst and yell that I was using him, saying I was a manipulative person, leaving me in tears. Then after I insisted that it was just a conversation topic, he would turn around and say that he never meant any of that, his life was stressful and if I was the only one he could still trust these days and how horrible of a person he is for yelling at me.

The only real conversations we had around this time were him calling to vent concerns and try to get me to be “on his side” about various subjects. Folkona was a conversation subject that came up multiple times, where he would talk down the subject and say that she was going to attempt to cancel his career over “Roleplay Drama” and how if anything happened, he needed me on his side. At the time, I didn’t know of the things between Arcadum and Folkona, and learning more of their history and how much it was downplayed and summed up as RP Drama really makes me feel that Arcadum was trying to paint Folkona in a light that would encourage distance from her. There were also the calls I’ve had which consisted of him asking “Do you think I’m a terrible person?” and him telling me about his guilt, where I’d insist that he made mistakes but I don't hate him, etc etc. This was under the understanding that he used me for comfort and eventually found someone he was actually interested in. Again, if it was that, I wouldn’t have given this any more thought. I would never have thought to write this post, it wouldn’t be the first time someone had done this to me. What changed my mind is learning that this has happened, and worse, for so many more women who experienced the same things around the same time. Over ten women have come forward as being emotionally manipulated and otherwise used by Arcadum, some being at the same time, and that's only the women I’m aware of.

Even if Arcadum never does this again, damage has been done to many of these women, and my heart aches for them hearing some of the recordings and reading what happened to them. I can understand and forgive genuine mistakes, but I cannot in good faith call something that has happened more than ten times an honest mistake. This was not a one-off “I’m in need of emotional support and going to co-workers.” This is something Arcadum had done to too many women for too long without awareness.

Please don’t just read my post, read and hear what others have experienced, and as upsetting as some of the audio is, it is important you hear and learn and come to your own conclusions about Arcadum.

Thank you for reading.

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