Story of my life since January
8 months ago I go benched from G2 which was painful because I was going through a rough period and my motivation into the game wasn't there. After that I needed some time for myself to heal and it wasn't easy at all thinking about coming back in the game. Then EXCEL contacted me which was really interessting in the first approach so I listened to what they're looking for and we made a team with the ressources that were available at that time. Then the team didn't work out at all and I can say with total honesty that it was majoriterly my fault. Outside of the game I was still struggling about my irl stuffs which happened last year and couldn't really focus into my passion which was the competition. Loosing my father was the most painful thing in the world and beside that having to deal with loneliness was extremely hard. People do forget that players got lifes outside the game and it is not always easy to come and sit on the PC when your life is just pure trash and that you need to deal with so much sadness. I can not even explain all the feelings I had to deal with and all the downs I had every nights and having hard troubles with sleeping at night. Sometimes people tell you that if you need help that they'd be there for you but asking for help is something to hard for me and I've never asked anyone to help me, sadly and unfortunately
I shut myself up and kept everything inside of me. On the 6th June it was the birthday of my father, the first where I couldn't wish it to him and on this day I promised and realized that I wasn't going into the right direction in my life, I had to change something. I know I am not the best guy in the world and I do not show to others a good face sometimes but I am working and doing my best to be a better version of myself each day since I realized that I had to do more.
I hope that I am making my dad proud because it is something really important for me and I wanna reach my goals so badly that I will never stop figthing for something I want. I will never stop working until that happen and I am proud to say that since I've been playing with Giants that I am putting all the efforts and giving all my heart into what I love - Competiting and playing video game, that is not only a job or a hobby it is a passion.
I am grateful for the opportunity that those guys gave me, from the first day giving me all of their trust, asking me if I could become the IGL of the team and letting me steer the boat with pipsoN's help and all of his great advices. I've been improving a lot as a Leader since I joined this team and I am sure I've still a lot to give.
We've had 1 and a half months all together, we started from the Open Qualifier to reach the EMEA and being 1 map away from Berlin, I am proud of what we've achieved in such a short amount of time. We weren't ready on all maps, we didn't face all the situations and we haven't had the time to be complitely ready but we managed to show do so much work that helped us to be where we are today.
Unfortunately we lost today but we've learned so much, this loss make me cry but I know inside of me that we've been doing so good and that it is only the begining. A long road is still waiting for us and I do believe that this team is something special and that we'll reach high level on the scene.
Thank you for the huge amount of support, the kind messages that you're sending through socials medias. You warm my heart and I hope that you'll keep supporting us in the future.
Thank you for reading, I wrote with my heart, nerves and tears. Much love to everyone.