Andoni Mishka Medina · @AndoniMishka
1st Mar 2021 from TwitLonger
Esports Scene from my point of view
Hey, wanted to do a summary on my experience in this industry as a coach of League Of Legends. My english is not the best so I'm sorry if my expressions are not the best for a serious post like this!
First of all: why am I quitting?
I think, with my knowledge, I'm capable of arriving into ERLs and if I work hard enough, maybe into high teams in ERLs. This can sound prepotent but I feel like this after talking with people from ERLs and understanding how they do their jobs. I don't think I envy anything from most of them in the sense of knowledge or work ethic.
But, and here comes the big but, I wouldn't want this kind of life style. Why?
I love League Of Legends. I can spend a hell lot of hours watching games, analysing them, and teaching players about it. I have issues with doing all of that and at the same time creating a good structure in a team, but that's easily fixable by moving into a role of Strategic Coach with high skills in managing groups and good skills in building structures for teams.
With this said, I don't like this lifestyle. The last year I've been dedicated to League with 95% of my time. I couldn't go out with friends as much as I'd like, no parties (with covid anyway i cannot, but at least hang out with them in a normal bar is possible), couldn't have a proper social life because I worked from 11 am to 10 PM, so I'm tired and I don't want to join discord with my friends and I cannot go out at 19 like they do after their jobs.
In this sense, scrims started 19.00, and my sleep schedule got fucked because I cannot sleep at 11.30 PM or a little bit later if I'm ending scrims at 10.30 PM and my mind is fully activated.
[By the way, I hate sleeping late since I'm much more productive in the mornings and it makes me happy to wake up early]
So, basically, a lifestyle where all my life is my passion is not something for me. I'm a pretty good student and was about to start my doctorate this year in sociology, but I decided to stop it since studies ate all my free time. This is the same, League made me enjoy this area of my life, but at the same time, hating it because there's not a balance between social life and this work.
So this comes to the second part of this post: is this fixable?
I think in the current logics of capitalism productivity is the first thing to have in mind for everybody. We all develop ourselves in a mental state where everything that we do needs to be productive and if we stop, it has to be stopping for being more productive in the future. And I think this is toxic to ourselves, since we don't have real relax moments.
Enviroments where competition is high, such as Esports or high university studies like doctorates, develop anxiety and other mental health dissorders into really high levels. And in this industry, if you want to make a living out of it, you have to be talented and at the same time, work your ass off.
So I don't really think this is fixable. I think this is a lifestyle that only a few can afford, and the ones than cannot afford it but will keep trying it, will be destroying their mental health in the way to climb a huge mountain.
It's up to anyone to go on in the industry and try to do their best, but from my point of view, it is not worth it investing that much time and mental for a possibility that might destroy your lifestyle.
With this said, I don't want to discourage anyone to pursue their dream of being a proffesional player / coach. But I want everyone to realise about the kind of lifestyle that it is and the sacrifices that you need to do in order to get to the top.
If you like this kind of lifestyle, go for it. If you don't like it and you're not a guy who will be happy with it, even if it's your dream, I'd recommend you to stop pursuing it, because you'll suffer a lot in your climbing and you won't enjoy it when you're on the top.
I just hope that anyone that reads this post analyses his own lifestyle, and how they want to live, and think twice in what they're doing with their life.
So I'm out of the industry, but I will be helping individually players that want coaching and I can assist some teams at some points. But I won't be investing a hell lot of time into it, so I can focus on my normal job and have this as a hobbie ^^.
Thank you for reading me! I will be active in social media doing streams or Youtube videos in the future!
Andoni