I was hoping to keep this to myself and take it to the grave, but the lack of accountability after confronting her makes it difficult to hold it in.
Two things I want to address:
1.) Sexual Manipulation. Shunao and I had a sexual relationship at EVO2014. When I put other testimonials together and view the events objectively, I realize I have been sexually manipulated into a relationship I did not wish to be in.
2.) False Abuse Allegation. Shunao has spun the story afterwards where she was the victim and I was the sexual abuser. She has told this to at least one person within the FGC who began to see me with a lot more caution. I am unsure who else she has told this to.
Some Context before the story:
- Shunao and I were friends in college and were on a team working on the same project. We naturally became friends because of shared interest in UMvC3 and Fighting Games.
- Shunao had a boyfriend that she lived with. I'll refer to him as "Bill". Bill played UMvC3 and really wanted to go to EVO2014.
- Shunao and Bill were both heavily aware I was still harboring a lot of feelings in regards to my ex.
- Jason is me, in case you're wondering about what that name is doing when it comes up.
The story itself and what happened that EVO2014 weekend:
Shunao approached me a week prior to EVO2014 weekend and asked if I was going to EVO, which I said I was. I told her I was taking the bus due to my poor planning. She assumed I was going to drive and was hoping to get a ride. After some talk, she asked if she can come along and I agreed, thinking it's more fun than going alone.
On Thursday, her Mom dropped her off at my home and my Mom drove us both to a local Grayhound bus station where we departed. During the bus trip, she put her head on my shoulders. I felt it was awkward but I wrote it off as that her neck was tired. I reciprocated and rested my head on hers.
When we made it to Vegas. Since Shunao planned the weekend very poorly, she had no place to stay and was hoping for floor space at Corimon's place or something. I offered her the Marvelous Customs suite (my sponsor's suite) and asked the others staying there if they were cool with it and they agreed.
After eating Dinner, we met up with BrokenTier people and I went to smoke with them. Apparently at this point, Shunao broke up with Bill. Bill found out that Shunao went to EVO without telling him and he only found out via Social Media. After an argument, they apparently broke up that evening.
When Shunao and I returned to the hotel, she threw a fit and showed big disapproval of my decision to smoke, at which I began to realize I ended up in a situation with an unwarranted girlfriend. She said that she would be taking the King sized bed to herself. I told her that's fine and I am fine on the couch.
Within less than 5 minutes, she changed her mind. She said it was okay for me to sleep on the bed. I had pools tomorrow, so I preferred whatever option that helped me sleep best.
I made no movement on the bed and was ready to sleep but I felt her moving closer to me. It was until the point where she got very close and she began to ask me weird questions. Things like "Do you think I'm cute", "Is it true what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", and "Do you think I'm a bad girlfriend?". I was pretty dense and mostly responded with "sure" or "yeah?". Her last remark was that she was not getting along with Bill at all and that he doesn't love her. Eventually things got heated and we kissed. Things escalated from there.
Without being over-detailed, the sexual interaction was purely oral, and that was due to my decision. When she said she was a virgin, I opted to not engage in penetrative sex because I didn't really really love her. This is relevant because numerous times when she told her account, she said that "I crossed the line" (despite her taking every initiative anyways).
While in the end, it was a consensual relationship. I had no intentions of being with her and I realized that every action I took to avoid that outcome, she nudged me back on her path. I came to this conclusion after I learned of a few things after the math:
- Bill made every attempt to save a relationship that was one-sided against his favor, they were together even after EVO2014, (Which I found odd. Did they actually break up?)
- I learned from Bill that Shunao officially broke up with him a few weeks after EVO on his Birthday.
- This made me conclude that Shunao had deceitful deliberation right from the get-go:
Her last minute request to join me going to EVO
Her initiatives to always make the first move for physical or sexual contact
How she would correct me if I didn't behave the way she preferred (such as me being fine with the couch).
The false sexual assault allegation
During the recent climate of Twitter, we began to see more people come out with their stories of abuse and etc.
Alan (2nd ex BF of Shunao), approached me saying "Hey, I just want to let you know that I support you no matter what". I later found out it was because he thought I had dirt, and I would be cancelled by Shunao soon.
When I asked him to be more specific, he said "what it sounded like was that there was an attempt made to force yourself on her, and you were not sober".
I was livid. A fellow norcal person at a local thought I was a sexual abuser this entire time because Shunao spun a story so differently than what happened. At this point, who knows who else who she has told. I began to reach out to Bill and Alan for their accounts and we painted a full story with testimonials.
One question was “why did she say that to begin with?” Why did she tell Alan that and tell him only that? Alan told me that when Shunao would ask Alan to give her a ride home, Alan would occasionally tell Shunao to go home with Jason. Preferring not to be in that situation out of potential awkwardness, she eventually told Alan what she told him (about being allegedly assaulted by me) and he never brought it up again. Shunao had never mentioned once that the sexual encounter could be consensual. She was content with being portrayed as the victim.
Around a week ago, I approached her via DMs hoping to see her side. She confirmed that she said and when I confronted her about how the whole situation was manipulated by her and how she took every initiative, she deflected by saying "that wasn't her intention" or that I am misunderstanding. Any point that revolved around me and Shunao, she was deflecting. Any point where I brought up in regards to Alan and Bill, she would double down on her side of the story (which I can't confirm due to it being a he says vs. she says situation). However when I confront both Bill and Alan about what she said, it doesn't align. One example is Shunao explicitly saying that Bill punched her. Bill said that he never did such a thing.
Feeling like it's getting nowhere, we agreed to the resolution that we will drop the issue. In the end, even if I felt I was manipulated, I still consented in the end and I can't confirm anything she says is true or false.
However, that resolution proved dissatisfying after I found out she immediately messaged Alan afterwards and said the exact same thing.
“Hi Alan, recently I have spoken to Jason (GCYoshi) about what I stated that happened between us at EVO back when we were in college. I don't recall stating that "[he] was not sober" but I do remember saying that "he put himself on me." And I wanted to clear that up. I wanted to state that there was two consenting adults doing things but when he crossed the line, he stopped when I asked. The awkwardness that stemmed from that continued to distant us (Jason and I) because of a situation between me and my ex of then (and the Gundam situation). While it was not my intention to put Jason is a bad light as the two of us (Jason and I) agreed then to not speak up on it anymore, the consequences of my wording was misconstrued.
While I already know you have little to no trust in me, I have spoken to Jason about this already and there was already a resolution.”
Screenshot to the message here: https://imgur.com/a/Z7JELNc
I was appalled when Alan sent me this. Not only does it read like a bad PR damage control tweet, but she was still doubling down on her testimony that she is the victim and I am the abuser. I could no longer uphold my end of keeping silent because she still wished to push the same narrative.
Also a lot her things don't align. Our relationship did not worsen until an unrelated situation with Gundam EX Versus (barely related to anything and it happened far after everything). I have tweets/DMs where I interacted with her normally afterwards and she even went out her way to draw a comic of how EVO2014 went.
I was able to engage with her normally because I wrote the entire interaction as a very awkward fling and mostly forgotten about it. Only until I found out about Bill's testimony afterwards did I realize she had a very clear motive.
Going back to her DM to Alan, it became clear to us that there is no accountability and zero guilt. Anything regarding labeling me as a sexual abuser is treated by her as a misunderstanding or misconstrued meaning (despite only one way to really interpret that), and bringing up testimonies of anyone is deflected by just refuting it. This is more mind boggling when you consider that he had to hear about her infidelity from me, rather than from her. (which she reaffirms did occur).
Why I went public.
Some may be reading this and wondering why this is even a thing. It's an interpersonal relationship and should be left as such.
And I agree with that, but once I learned the narrative that she spun, I had to confront her. When I confronted her twice, she still doubled down and asserted that she did no wrong, and that really made me lose any faith I've had in her.
A genuine sorry is what I wanted originally, but now I’m not even sure.