Raf · @RaafGL

8th Aug 2020 from TwitLonger

a letter as an act-age reader

I don't exactly remember when I started reading act-age. Maybe 1 year ago or something, I don't know. I do know I have been reading it weekly for a long time, and I have supported it with all of my strength because I really loved it. But now I can't.

When I first saw the whole situation I couldn't come up with any reaction, I was just plainly in shock, with no idea of what to say or do. That was over hours ago, and I still don't have an answer to what can I do. I feel horrible, disgusted, disappointed, annoyed, I want to cry, throw up, disappear, make it as if I had never read the series, completely forget about anything I have ever felt with this series. Because thinking about the idea of me having supported such a sick and disgusting author is incredibly painful.

I'm really sorry, to everyone and for everything. I can't help but blame myself for having supported such an atrocious human being, for having contributed to the sexual harassment this person committed. I really feel like shit. I really hoped I had never bought volumes, or even read the series, so I wouldn't feel like this. No matter how many times I'm told I shouldn't be blaming myself for this, that it's not my fault or that I couldn't have known about it, it's not as easy as just forgetting about the series and moving on. It's hard, and it hurts a lot.

I'm not going to ask for the series to continue, which is just delusional and minimizes the actual issue of this controversy, which is minors being harrassed by a fucking pedophile. I hope he gets jailed, even if there's already a track of authors that haven't gotten that treatment. The only thing I can ask is for Shiro Usazaki to not be stopped by this. I only pray for her to continue being able to work and do what she loves, so I can fully support her as much as I can after all of this. Because if for some reason this doesn't happen, I'm only going to torment myself until the day I die. Because of having supported a person that has destroyed both a series and the dreams of a young promising artist. And I honestly think this doesn't apply only to myself, but to every reader out there.

I don't really know what's the exact purpose of this text. I guess it's just getting it out of my chest because I don't really know what to do or say. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I hope the victims are now safe and justice does its work. I hope this person doesn't appear in this industry ever again and pays for his crimes. And I again apologize to the victims for me being one of the supports of a series made by such a disgusting subject. Even if I myself understand I'm not at fault, I feel incredibly responsible.

Shiro, I hope you can still be successful with your career. Because you really deserve it, and I'll keep supporting you as my favorite artist.

I'm deeply sorry.

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