phox · @phoxNA
20th Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
Final statement
Let me start by saying this isn’t an apology , a request for forgiveness , or anything of the sorts. It’s simply a detailed explanation as to why. I understand I’ve lost any and all respect from anyone because i am cheating internet scum ok so here
As I’m sure everyone knows by now i cheated in valorant and have recently been permanently why so here i will fill in any info anyone might care for or were to probably ask or be thinking for starters I’ll go with why and a list of reasons ( i don’t think anything justifies cheating and it is the ultimate disrespect to competitive integrity.)
- I am/was a compulsive cheater , in almost every game i have played (usually when i get bored of ) I’d either make or find cheats for and this dates back to when i was like 12 playing MW2 and trying to find lobbies for AA and minimap hacks . After playing fortnite for over 2 years when i started to get bored and planned on quitting I got an FOV slider to gain an unfair advantage and be able to see more than the default 80 FOV. I even cheated in the practice server Minecraft discord , after playing non stop for 2 days they reset the server to add more plugins and on reset because i get my two days of previous time spent was wasted i cheated to get ahead of people in progress and find diamonds faster , even something so small i cheated in to get an unfair advantage . In CSGO , after about 3k hours of playing legit for a couple years i got bored of the game and got cheats to have fun with the movement and mechanics of the game while also winning. There was a point where i even tried to reverse or look up cheats for something as small as skribll.io with friends. In VALORANT after playing and grinding the beta i finished immortal 3 the game came out and i played everyday for the entirety of my day I started cheating about a week into the release of ranked at the time i was immortal 1 or 2 and stuck with like a 55% winrate. As you can see i have an avid past of cheating and this is nothing new just the first time on this scale.
- I think i have a problem with losing, like beyond being a sore loser. Or a problematic addiction for winning this routes back to when i was playing football , i started football as a kid and it was my main aspiration in life. Starting in middle school whenever i would Lose a football game or make a really bad play i would punish myself with self harm- i won’t go into detail about this because it’s not the center point of this. Even in real life i nearly attempted to cheat. I was offered steroids by someone who knew me and i payed them and got scammed and took it as a lesson at the time that i needed to find help / stop . During my softmore year of high school my parents found out how i was reacting to losing in football and forced me to quit , this was the first time i really contemplated suicide and for that entire year of my life i was malnourished my gpa in high school dropped below a 1.5 and i had no motivation to do anything in my life so i picked up gaming again seriously with fortnite.
- Another reason why was the accessibility , because of my history of cheating in other games i knew many people in the cheating “community” and had connections with people that were capable , at first i thought it would be impossible to cheat on this game due to vanguard invasive system on your computer so it was very surprising to me how easy it was. I’d decided to say fuck it why not , do it for a month and see where it goes . I analyzed the risk contemplated it for a couple days and Went with it.
For this part I’m not really sure what the word to use is I’d say something along the lines of regret / sorry ? I wouldn’t use the word sorry because i knew what i was doing and i didn’t stop and at the time of doing it you can obviously tell i didn’t regret it or i also would have stopped. I think at this point i can see I’m beyond stupid for attempting something like that but here is the people i am “sorry” to or have made me regret doing these things
- firstly i apologize to the people who genuinely supported me or was there for me , first off i wasn’t deserving of it , never was but there was many people that were close friends to distant followers that were there for me this is most likely someothing you didn’t expect out of me and defiently not someone you would want to support and i have let down anyone that was ever at one point legit or not looking up to me. The people that i have teMed with , supported me , of been friends with will probably all be shamed upon, look like pieces of shit , or worst because of my sole actions and descions .
- Secondly but i think most importantly i want to apologize against anyone / most importantly people recently that i have competed against or played against . Not only did i screw the results and outcomes of tournaments, ranked matches , and more i stole the attention of true talent , the money of true talent , and much more it affects someone’s person to lose and now they know they lost to a cheater it must make it feel worse and for that i am sorry , and still i am not asking for forgiveness or anything of the sorts , i was aware of what i was doing and at the time had no remorse.
Here is my last and final message : firstly , to the people that have doxxed me and my family I’m impressed at your speeds but Please leave all hate and etc to me . Please refrain from continuing to threaten my little brothers life , he used to may have looked up for me and only thing I’ve ever seen that kid do is schoolwork and play video games the way i see how what i did has affected his life already makes me feel like scum and also threatening to get my mothers doctoring lisence revoked is pushing it. I request that all hate be directed to me , if it is verbal , i will be reading through all my twitter dms before i go so send it soon . But my only request is leave my family out of it , they are innocent and i want the best for them . To my close friends , I’m sorry for putting you guys in the position you are it was my fault it was selfish and dumb to anyone i have competed against I’m sorry , to anyone I’ve met / made memories with online , thank you for keeping me happy and being apart of my life .
Where do i go from here : honestly , i mmmm not sure i originally started college because a friend made me
Apply because i planned on doing nothing with my life after high school , i had no motivation. I’m
Majoring in computer science but the main reason was to be better at coding and code cheats when i graduate on the side of working some boring desk job. So i don’t really see a point in continuing higher education when my base reasonings where a joke . Not sure what I’ll do with my life but if I’m still here in the upcoming days I’ll keep you guys updated here. Also to anyone whoever plans on cheating in the future ; even in the smallest scale at the end of the day it isn’t worth it. Also besides twitter to my friends do not try to contact me , i won’t be responding to anything or answering anything.
TLDR FOR all scrollers
I am cheating scum always have been always will be seen as it , i do not seek forgiveness if anything forget about me , Direct all hate to my twitter dms as I’ll be reading those soon( to the guy who called me a dumb cheating nigger porch monkey , i won’t lie it made me giggle a little bit ) . Not sure where I’ll go from here or if I’ll be here much longer but i appreciate the good memories.goodbye