tired · @xMidnight__
11th Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
archive of hashinshin twitlonger
Lets start with this: Alli is a good person at heart who does shitty things. That's weird to say, but the shitty things are SO SHITTY that her being a good person at heart is totally wasted. I believe she has mental issues, bad ones. She talked about memory issues earlier? I believe her memory is totally fucked. To the point where she doesn't even understand her own reality. I believe she constantly rearranged and redoes things in her brain to make herself look like the good guy. Everyone around her has noticed her constant ... lying. Really it's lying. It's like she can be mid-convo and change her beliefs on a whim. It's like cognitive dissonance but taken to a being her life style.
I don't want to post many screenshots but the ones I did will prove that she did threaten me. I still believe in the confidence of DMs for the most part and don't want to show anything. While NOW I might hate Alli, back then I didn't and I don't want to show shit any more.
So lets go over shit. New shit.
First off. The karasmai situation? Alli didn't tell me the sex wasn't consensual. Nope. Didn't even mention it until I went to her place. Didn't mention it till I was home afterwards. Didn't mention it... until I didn't take her calls or respond to her texts because I found out they had sex. Then suddenly she started talking about how the sex wasn't consensual maybe? It was a HUGE red flag but I ignored it because I felt so bad for her. I should note I was 100% against sex on the first visit and turned down her advanced twice. Yes. This story actually just got worse for Alli and I haven't shared it because I still feel bad for her. We dated afterwards (yes I'm an idiot, I know.)
Alli broke up with me. Constantly. CONSTANTLY. I'd go cry, she'd eventually calm down and we'd get together. Sometimes we pretended it didn't happen. She'd then say I manipulated her back even though she'd reach out. Often I'd leave the room, cry alone, and she'd text me without me saying anything to come back. While fucked up it often gave me the IDEA that we were always going to be together, because we always were.
She constantly abused me, manipulated me, etc. She'd say we only ever did what I wanted to do, and if I asked her "whens the last time we did anything I wanted?" she'd change the topic and deflect. We didn't do anything I wanted, only what she wanted. We only ever played league, and so I'd always ask to play league with her since that's ALL she wanted to do. She'd then accuse me of manipulating her in to playing league with her? At the start of the relationship I didn't want to play league at ALL. This turned in to us playing off stream. Then on stream normals. Then ranked duos. Then she wanted to play ALL THE TIME. In order to keep the relationship going I allowed this to advance.
She abused me emotionally all the time. Calling me shit, calling me a bad BF, saying I sucked at everything. I chose to ignore it because she had good days. I cried. A lot. A LOT. It hurts when your GF is constantly saying that shit about you. On stream you guys noticed she was constantly berating me and attacking me. Yes, I had to beg her to play league (since that's all she wanted to do) then deal with her abuse to get there, then even if I got her to play she'd just abuse me the whole time anyway. Then probably break up with me, then tell me I manipulated her to get her to stay with me and I'd cry again.
I finally broke up with her when I asked "Alli do you even want to be in this relationship" and she responded "meh." I was so hurt and so battered at this point I made a tweet since it was the only thing permanent, and I couldn't just forgive her and get back together later if I tweeted. She was EXTREMELY FUCKING ANGRY with me. LIT ME THE FUCK UP in DMs.
It's at this point she joined a community that posts pedo shit about me.
I tried to ghost her. TWICE. She cried the first time and I relented. The second time she asked to play league, then facetimed me, and I wasn't strong enough to say no. I felt so bad for her and wanted to be together. I wasn't happy being friends, and I thought maybe we can get back together. Unfortunately, Alli is a manipulative person who just wanted to pull me back in to hurt me. (Yes, I'm an idiot, I know.)
Me and her would do a lot. Play every day. Sleep on mic. Watch movies. Talk about moving in to an apartment. Except... she was talking to another guy the whole time. I spent her whole birthday with her playing games.
She was talking to a guy that posted pedo memes about me constantly.
Finally one day she says something like "oh you can't follow my private." I suspected shit was weird but I blew up because I knew what was going on. Next day she won't talk. Blocked. This is when I started to spam her. I was still in love with her, and I didn't get ANY closure. What the fuck was happening? She didn't even tell me she was seeing anybody.
Finally WEEKS LATER she starts telling me about stuff, kinda. She lies, A LOT. A LOT. About everything. Her story changes every hour. She gets an "impartial" person to mediate things between us.
This impartial person is a member of her "hashinshin is a pedo" meme community. In my stupid depressed sad state I agreed to have him "mediate."
At this point we all get in call and it's revealed she has been telling people I groomed her. I groomed her? Look at the LA story and tell me I GROOMED her LOLOLOL. Anyway, on voice I agreed with it because I didn't really understand what was happening and just wanted her back. They probably have a recording of that. This is when Alli started to manipulate me in to giving her this ammo to hurt me with.
Later on she starts saying I'm a pedo, we can't get together because I'm a pedo. I denied it and said at worst I've said inappropriate things to underaged girls.She said I showed my dick to a 14 year old? (Yes, I'm stupid, I know.) I said sorry for that and I didn't mean it... but I didn't. I never did. She got me to apologize for that. More ammo for her.
I know, I'm an idiot. I was still thinking Alli was my close friend my CLOSEST friend and anything said to her was totally in confidence and this would never be seen.
She continued to make things up and I continued to apologize. Long winded apologies. I'd apologize over and over because this was the most important thing to me. This is what she has on me and this is what she will post. She blackmailed me with it, multiple times.
Now lets talk about the money. AFTER we broke up the SECOND TIME I tried to ghost her, when we facetimed she said something like "how come you have $1000 for avril but not $1000 for your GF?" Well see, she wasn't my GF at the time. But she acted like it... why? Because... money! Eventually I relented and gave it to her. She said we never worked out because of the money, it was THE LAST STRAW. Yeah. Right. Anyway, I'm an idiot. I gave her the money because I thought OH OKAY WELL WITH THAT FIXED WE CAN GET BACK TOGETHER RIGHT?
The chair? Same thing. WE CANT BE FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU PROMISED ME A PRESENT AND DIDNT GET IT FOR ME. Why didn't I get it for her? SHE MADE ME CANCEL IT. She was PISSED I got her something and BLOCKED ME after FORCING me to cancel it. Yes. She then unblocked me later in the day and said "I don't want to be friends, I'm just unblocking for the chair!11" We argued for a LONG time and eventually I relented and said okay I'd get her the chair. This was a $2000 chair people.
Eventually I sobered up so to speak and cancelled the order. I was totally blocked on EVERYTHING and I had my friend just DM her "hey this chair isn't happening, nice to know you, we don't know each other, we are totally done bye." She then unblocked me and GUILTED ME FOR HOURS over this fucking chair. Eventually said "THIS CHAIR WAS THE LAST STRAW WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS NOW" (seeing the pattern?) and so eventually I relented and... got the chair ordered for her again.
Now it's back to where I was before. The pedo shit. Eventually she said "WE COULD NEVER GET BACK TOGETHER, THIS PEDO STUFF WAS THE LAST STRAW." (she has a BF at this time, sorry frost, but she was constantly saying stuff about getting back together.) I made new accounts, I spammed her, I tried and I pleaded I said ALLI THIS ISN'T TRUE. Eventually I said... OKAY IM SORRY ALLI IT'S TRUE IM SORRY. See? I'm fucked up but I didn't realize this was all becoming ammo against me. She said I'd need to.... pay her $1000 to defend myself. I did. Because... I'm fucked up.