Please don't blame me if some of this doesn't make sense I'm just trying to get my thoughts in here. Before we start i would again like to say a massive thank you to everyone who's supported me over these amazing 2 years, you've been the motivation that kept me going. I've honestly been blessed to be in the position I am, I wake up every day to messages of love and support, it truly is something special. I hope I've been a good role model for new players around becoming a pro and how to conduct yourself.
To start one of the main reasons I've quit is because of the changing meta and how the game has progressed. In my eyes, each new update was becoming more and more casual and more and more uncompetitive mechanics were getting added. I fell in love with this game because of the strategy and how you could win by being smart. There are hundreds of shooter games but Fortnite was unlike any other because of building. This strategy for me slowly faded away after trio FNCS. It became very clear early on to me that epic games don't care for competitive in the way that we would all want them to and that it is unrealistic if we think they ever will.
I started playing competitively around BP squad days but caught my first "break" when I got invited to ESL Katowice as Tommo's duo (which I'm still forever thankful for, this was the chance I was wishing I would get) We had a good plan going into the event and were feeling confident after a lot of practice at our spot. Now picture the scenes we're both vibing at like 1 am in our hotel rooms the day before the tourney and I get a message from Tommo that a new update had been released and a BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO got put over our spot so we are going into the tourney without a plan. Imagine this happening in any other game. This is really where my discontent with how Epic runs competitive really started.
Fast forward a year and the world cup is announced, this just lights a fire in me. I don't think I've ever wanted to achieve something so bad. The whole world cup period is something I will never be able to forget from the day we qualified and the 41 kill game to actually being in New York and being able to experience the city/culture as I'd never been to America before.
One of the next reasons I made this decision is the community. Sorry but I'm going to be harsh but truthful. Most in the community are either literally a kid or in maturity. Toxicity is viewed as funny in this scene and it just got to a point where I couldn't be bothered putting up with the immaturity and toxicity. The next part of the community I really have a distaste towards, is I'm sorry to say, how the pros conduct themselves. People really don't understand the influence and how much of a role model they are, or should be, to people. Don't even get me started on the egos...
Lastly, I would like to say coming back is not off the table but it's definitely not an option now. I'm going to go enjoy life for a bit and catch up with friends more etc and just be a teenager while I can before going to uni :)
I would like to give some special thanks to a few people (i could thank so many people)
Nats - for being my first ever competitive duo
Tommo - gave me the chance I only dreamed of
Nyhrox - always been there for me to motivated me
Khuna - one of the nicest people I've spoken to
Provokd - talked to me about motivation before world cup when I was feeling unsure about myself
Kinstaar - for giving us a chance to squad and showing me the amazing love of the french community
And Bloodx - I know he gets a lot of hate but he is single handily responsible for most of my success, he showed me a new way of playing the game and has been a mentor to me throughout my career
Finally also all of the boys at E11, for being a true family (and in contrast to so much of the game role models for professionalism and sportsmanship which has clearly been passed down from Zach)
If you got this far I appreciate you <3