My story of the sexual relationship between SaNTa!!!! and I with screenshots

This statement is to be direct and straight to the point with concise details and the entire length of screenshots. I will not cherry pick evidence. Further I ask that you look at the full evidence as well as know that many of the details in SaNTa!!!!'s statement are false and were not discussed to either myself or the NorCal Safety Panel when we were discussing this situation.

Here is a list of the entire conversation. The first few are some to show that it is not taken out of context/cherry picked. NOTE: A lot of the in between is about a very private health reason I am positive SaNTa!!!! would not want me to talk about that is very unrelated and would harm her if I were to talk about it.

Beginning of the conversation:

Please give me the chance to explain my side of the story that will be proven in later screenshots. If I recall correctly, I met Santa around January? at an SJSU tournament and she was my first friend. Later on, we flirted and I felt comfortable because I didn't have any other friends besides a guy I met named Drew who was also her friend. I just recently broke up with my ex and lived with her while broken up in Campus Village B, which was near where Claire lived. After communicating, Claire and I decided to meet up and play Smash to practice. After playing, we decided to watch The Promised Neverland on her laptop and cuddle on the bed. Afterwards, we started sex and it was consensual.

The details in the middle weren't crystal clear but I distinctly remember a conversation where Claire and I talked and she mentioned that I was too forceful and forced oral through speech and physical actions. This was a disgusting mistake I made and I admit it and I am so fucking sorry that I did that. I was very confused because you mentioned that you did enjoy sex forced and rough. It was extremely wrong and unwarranted and caused intense emotional damage that I didn't consider at the time that could affect you even today. However, that was the one and only encounter that I can clearly remember and I saw this because we did talk about it after it happened and I apologized profusely. I thought that you were still interested sexually because of conversations we had like this long after the event. In the event of crops, I can prove that it is to protect confidential information regarding Claire and her personal situations that I don't want to expose. When Santa told me messages like this it gave me the impression that she was not uncomfortable with me after the incident and my apology.

I understand why you would bring this up over a year later and I offered to do anything to make reparations. I already worked with the NorCal Safety Panel and put a self ban on myself until whatever time you feel comfortable with. I was under the impressions you were okay with that resolution as well. One of the things that you mentioned was that you were worried that I would do something similar to another woman. I already told you and shown you screenshots of partners I have had after our incident that could hopefully show that I have expelled such inappropriate behavior.

Also, I am confused as to why you included a detail of me abusing you because we had a resolution on the sentiment you had that I used you. I already explained this here:

Further you tried to gaslight me and convince me that I raped you multiple times which severely clashes with what I remember. To clarify, we talked about it once and eventually you requested that we stopped seeing each other sexually. I agreed. You have invited me over to your dorm at least 10 times afterwards to play Smash Bros or hang out. Many people can testify this such as Hunter, Zach, Mickey, TreeWiz, irock194, and your former roommates.

Here is the full conversation regarding the incident:
Here is the last conversation we had:

Claire. You almost made me make a public statement on my own calling myself a multiple case rapist in public with a script with writing that would imply that alcohol was involved and that the incident was related to Smash Bros. Further, I am concerned because you refused to tell me about your public statement after telling me that you never would make one. When I asked you about the false allegations and who is telling you falsely that I raped them, you refused to tell me who it was that made them. You never mentioned me calling you "my girlfriend" when we talked earlier. I have never EVER done that. I already told you at the time that I wasn't looking to date because I had broken up with my ex (in screenshots). You tricked me thinking that the issue was resolved and went made a statement after the Safety Panel made a resolution and didn't even give me time to make a statement nor work it out with you.

I will take as much time as you need to remove myself from the community until you are ready because I truly truly hope you find peace and heal from what I did.

I am very heartbroken because you seemed to be my friend even just days before we talked about this. I will be getting an attorney for defamation.

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