💘💫 lights 🌸💭 · @Sailor_Lights
3rd Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
Addressing Chia's post/Lyric and I's friendship:
To be honest... I would've just written a thread but I need to explain a lot in terms of all this shit.
First of all. Chia did NOT ask my permission to use whatever Lyric and I went through in her post I don't understand why she felt the need to bring Lyric and I up but I guess we're talking about.
For preface: Lyric and I knew each other about 2? years ago. She was dating a close friend of mine so I met her through them. Him and I were very close, I will admit. It may have gotten weird with how close we are but anyone who knows me knows I am very affectionate BUT I never tried to get with him at any point when they were together. They would on and off break up and every time they broke up, he would come to me, express his feelings for me (he was 23, I was 18 when it started). I had never had someone become interested in me often so I will admit, I hung onto it, and whenever they got back together him and I would fight and then he would tell me he loved her. Which made sense. But it was a constant pattern, I lost trust in him whenever he said that. However, he was a very good friend to me and listened to me, comforted me when I had horrible issues going on with my personal life and I did catch feelings but I did not act on them unless he initiated.
When I met Lyric, I never had ill will towards her. Her and I got along well, had similar interests, talked quite frequently, and I valued her friendship a lot. I saw her as a big sister and I still do now.
The only time I started to dislike her was when this person she was with fed me lies about how she gaslit him, destroyed his self-esteem, and made her look like a monster. I tried talking to him and said if she really treats you like this, leave her. He never did despite hinting that he wanted to be with me, which confused me and kept me up. So, yes... I did dislike her. I was frustrated with the lies he told me, and when they eventually broke up, it got worse.
Lyric is very brave to come with her own story but I also want to share mine. It traumatized me.
I will not go into extreme detail but when they broke up, a few months after. Him and I started texting sexually, I sent him lewds whenever he asked, I played into everything because for once I felt wanted.
We agreed to hang out/hook up one day and I traveled to him for it. When things started escalating, I had a panic attack. I was confused.. I wanted this I thought? He did not bother to ask if I was okay as I couldn't breathe, I was crying, he was on his phone.
After I gathered myself he proceeded to berate me with how I was immature, I led him on, that I couldn't do it and it made me feel worthless. After this, we didn't talk for a month. I tried being his friend after but the trauma haunted me.
Now on the topic of how Lyric and I's friendship status as of now. I consider her a close friend. She did talk about me back when I first joined because she felt hurt and I understand her. I am also guilty of talking about her badly, I was frustrated with her and I was confused because I thought we were okay and she never told me. I've seen screenshots of her talking about me and it hurt me because I told her what happened with this person and she accepted my apology and I wanted her as my friend back. We have eventually grown from that. Just yesterday I was sobbing on the phone to her and she listened. She has made me aware of things that would hurt me, she has called me in times of need, been there when my entire mental state was falling apart and it means a lot to me that we have gone through this. Her and I have healed tremendously and became closer over time. She is still someone I consider a big sister and I am thankful that we have moved past.
I also want to address that I cannot talk about what happened with the Philly thing as I was not super involved so I don't know a lot. It's not my business. However I do not agree with the timing of this post as we are trying to weed out actual horrible people. There is a time and place and this isn't it. I like to think Chia and I are still friendly but I don't appreciate being brought into this.
Right now, I am tired. After this I will be taking an ACTUAL break and focusing on real life/other communities I am a part of. Thank you for reading this far. Please stay safe.