AkaiZephyr

Zephyr · @AkaiZephyr

3rd Jul 2020 from TwitLonger

My Experiences with Cinnamon Dunson (Cinnpie)


CW: Emotional abuse/manipulation, unwanted sexual molestation
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As early as March 2016, Cinnpie and I discussed the possibility of living together, as we had what I believed to be a strong friendship. From the start I tried to make sure she understood that she would need to get a job and contribute to the house (both financially and with cleaning and stuff) to make it work. The original concept involved me moving out of my house, and down to the Virginia Beach area (mainly due to location-based trauma that I was trying to avoid processing). Although we talked about it several times throughout the year, I was extremely hesitant to leave my house and the area, and nothing ever materialized from it.

https://imgur.com/a/5KS46Vm

Sometime around November 2016, Cinnpie instead proposed the idea of moving into my house in Northern VA. She had been telling me that her living situation in SoVA was "unbearable", and she sounded desperate enough that I wanted to give her a safe place to stay while she got her feet under her and her life in order. I agreed to it, with the same conditions that we had discussed previously, and we talked about her getting a car to make a job possible, including going out to look at some used cars for sale near my house. I also made it clear to her that I didn't necessarily see her living in my house as a long-term solution for her.

https://imgur.com/a/TrzlT5u

After she moved in, her boyfriend (WaDi) began to visit her on a daily basis, and it got to the point where he would stay over almost every night. This in itself wouldn't have been an awful thing, but Cinnpie seemed content to live a relatively low-stress life, and showed no interest in finding a job. We talked near the end of 2016 and I reiterated that she needed to work on getting a job and taking care of herself, especially if I decided to move out of the area (which I was still considering at this point). After this talk, she began to cry and I comforted her, feeling badly about her being upset, but resolute that she needed to change things. After this talk, she sent me a long message essentially stating that she didn't want or really need a traditional job, and how important I was to her.

https://imgur.com/a/bW5QABO

A couple of weeks later, Cinnpie informed me that she'd been hired at a brewhouse that was about a 20 minute drive from my house (which... I live in the middle of nowhere, almost any job will be a minimum of 10-15 minutes away). I congratulated her, and when I asked how she would get to/from work, she told me that her plan involved having WaDi drive her, and using rideshare services when he couldn't. I don't believe that she lasted more than a week or two, at most, at her job before she quit and things returned to "normal" for a bit. I don't know whether she thought her making that minimal effort would satisfy me for a time.

In early February, I sat Cinnpie down for another serious talk, and reiterated my previous points about her needing some kind of contributable income. I also told her that her boyfriend couldn't live at the house with her; him being there almost 24/7 wasn't part of our original discussion, and having an unexpected extra person in my house was having an adverse effect on me. I told her that he was welcome to come spend time with her, and occasionally stay over, but that it couldn't be every night. She readily agreed to everything, and then, identically to our last conversation like that, she began to cry. Although I felt badly about "causing" her emotional reaction, I held firm to what I'd told her. There's a bit more to this portion of the story, but I'll address it near the end of this document.

I sent Cinnpie a message in mid-February, letting her know that I didn't think our living situation could continue. I tried to keep it as diplomatic and friendly as possible, communicating my feelings without assigning blame for why it wasn't working. She responded back with her side of things, but ultimately agreed to work on finding a new place to live by the end of March. By mid-March, she had left my house and did not return. She left most of her belongings, including her bed, in a room of my house for at least 6-8 months, until she and WaDi returned to load them up and take them to wherever they were staying.

https://imgur.com/a/v6DFP8W

Cinnpie and I only occasionally saw each other at Smash events for the next several months. Our relationship became strained, and we exchanged some terse messages, though we always tried to repair things until everything became clear to me and I blocked her on everything months later.

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So now, after all that, I'd like to touch on the emotional and sexual manipulation that Cinnpie exhibited. In February 2016, I told Cinnpie that I liked her, but added that if it didn't happen, I still valued her friendship and didn't want that to change. She thanked me for that and stated that she wanted to pursue a relationship with another Smasher (GMoney).

https://imgur.com/a/0dVpjUW

Now that Cinnpie knew that I was interested, however, she took the opportunity to exercise her power however she could - whether it was taking advantage of my kindness to ask for money, or giving me a huge hickey before a Xanadu weekly, or even sending me lewd pictures of herself. She constantly toyed with my emotions and kept me close enough, and interested enough, that she could manipulate me to get what she needed.

https://imgur.com/a/6AGLSbJ

During the time that SoVA Smash players would regularly come stay at my house for several days, Cinnpie told me about how much enjoyment she got from "messing with Hiro", potentially without his consent. She indicated that she immensely enjoyed touching him and pushing his boundaries. I also found out about multiple instances of Cinnpie talking down about me to her other friends. In one instance, immediately after performing oral sex on her boyfriend, she took a drink of my milkshake. They laughed about it afterwards.

Last, and potentially most serious bit here. This comes essentially right after the conversation I had with Cinnpie at the beginning of February. At the end of our conversation, Cinnpie asked me if we could cuddle for a bit, to help her to feel better. I agreed, and we laid like that for a few minutes. Unexpectedly, and before I fully realized what she was doing, Cinnpie had shoved her hand down my pants and was gripping and stroking me. Let me be very clear about this: although I had openly told Cinnpie that I was interested in her through the course of our friendship, and we were comfortable cuddling up with each other, we did not have a relationship beyond that, especially because she was with WaDi at this time. Unfortunately, my hormones impaired my judgment at that point, and I didn't immediately pull away from her; instead, I told her that if she didn't pull her hand out of my pants, I would put mine in hers in return. Her only response was to open her legs slightly. We laid like that for several more minutes before the wrongness of the situation pierced through my hormone-induced haze, and I got up and moved away from her.

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I can't speak to specifics regarding Puppeh's Twitlonger, other than to say that a lot of it lines up with my observation of events and beliefs. There was one conversation that I had with Cinnpie where she asked me if there was a way to delete messages from Facebook, because Puppeh had some that could "ruin her" (or something to that effect; it was a long time ago and I don't have screenshots or anything of this).

I've sat on all of this for years because... well, mostly because I was afraid to come forward with it. I've shared bits and pieces of this with people through the years, and although some were understanding and saw the same thing I did, I also got a lot of "No way, she's awesome and nice" reactions. I was afraid that people wouldn't believe me, and I'd be shunned from a community that I love. But it's time for this to come out, not for my sake, but so people can understand that anyone can be affected and manipulated in the right circumstances. If any of our community leaders have questions or need more detail, please feel free to reach out. Additionally, please keep in mind that this post is about a person who has done terrible things; but they're still a person. Let's protect our community, but don't pile on needlessly.

Everyone reading this, everyone affected, please just do your best to be a little better each day. Be kinder, be more understanding, and do the right thing, even when it's hard. Never stop fighting. Be the change.

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