SmallAnt · @Smallant1
3rd Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
My Response
This is in response to Lo’s tweet: https://twitter.com/astate0fmind/status/1278732415364730880?s=20
TL;DR: I was an absent friend to Lo. I didn’t reciprocate any of the effort that she put in, however, my actions do not constitute being called abuse.
Lo and I have known each other for a little over a year. We have never met in person. We became friends and eventually started a long-distance friends-with-benefits arrangement online through twitter/snapchat (we were both consenting adults - 23yo) In terms of the friendship, it was very one sided - Lo was the one that initiated most, if not all, of our interactions. Just to be clear, Lo’s claim was not anything about sexual abuse.
At the end of last year, I got busy with YouTube and put all of my focus onto that. We went from speaking nearly every day, to not at all. Lo expressed her desire for me to be a better friend and spend more time with her. I didn’t have time to hang out so I would respond with an excuse. I should have done my part to communicate better. In January, we planned to meet in-person for the first time at TwitchCon Europe (was later cancelled bc Covid).
Then in late February, I got a girlfriend (I’ve been keeping this private at my Gf’s request). I communicated to Lo that the FWB arrangement had to stop but we can still be friends. After this point messages between Lo and I became very sparse. In April though, I began to distrust her. I learned that before my girlfriend and I started dating, she found out who it was, and preemptively messaged them in an effort to prevent the relationship from happening. I spoke up and said I no longer wanted to be friends, as I could not trust her anymore, but that I was fine with her remaining in the community.
Lo was upset by this, and asked for an apology, so I took an honest look through our message history and two weeks later said this: https://imgur.com/a/pdPIarG
She responded by saying it wasn’t sufficient and that I engaged in emotionally manipulative and abusive behaviour. I asked her what I could do to help her move past this so we could co-exist in the same community. Lo then began sending veiled threats implying that if she left the community it “wouldn’t be too pretty”.
https://imgur.com/a/A0bWiw3
In the end she said the only way to make her happy was to “go to therapy for antisocial personality disorder”.
Then she tweeted today.
Overall, reading through the old messages, it’s pretty clear I was a horrendous friend that did not deserve her time. Lo put all of her energy into the friendship while I just let it happen. I had my priorities in other places and let Lo put all of this energy into a friendship that was going nowhere. It’s obvious I was a shitty friend to Lo, and that it truly hurt her.
For that, Lo, I am sorry.
In the end though, it was just a friendship that didn’t work out.
With the current state of twitter, her tweet was phrased in a way that some mistook to imply sexual assault, emotional manipulation, and/or abuse. This is not the case, but nevertheless I felt it was appropriate to apologize and share my side of things.