Erin Steeby · @erinsteeby
1st Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
My experience at The Attack
In 2017, I co-hosted a show on Twitch and Disney XD called The Attack, where I was constantly harassed by my co-host, Alex Corea.
When I was hired I was told that Alex and I were equals. The executives encouraged, and were excited about, my involvement and my ideas.
That changed almost immediately. One of the first things I was told was that I couldn’t publicly say I was in a relationship. They wanted me to appear desirable and available to the fans as well as give the impression that Alex and I had sexual tension.
As per my contract, I wasn't set to debut on the show until a week after it started. While I was with my family over Christmas, I got a phone call from Alex. He demanded that I come back for the first show, and when I explained that my contract didn't start until a week after the premiere he said that I would lose my job, that the fans would hate me, and that they would hire another host. He even went so far as to demand I catch the next flight home, and he'd conveniently found the tickets for me. I stood my ground that night but this exchange left a pit in my stomach.
During my first week I confronted Alex about his phone call to me over Christmas. I told him how uncomfortable he made me and I asked him to never contact me outside of work like that again. His response was a veiled threat: "Do you know what we're doing here and how important it is?"
"Let me tell you how things are going to go from now on."
The conversation devolved from there, and he spent the better part of an hour explaining how it was his show, and he was the boss. I realized talking to him was useless. He never heard a word that I said. So, I decided to go to one of the executives for help. The executive tried to smooth it out between us and assured me that he'd speak to Alex, but that I had to understand that Alex was "shell shocked" from the "betrayal" he felt from the last host leaving the show.
After a month, I went to my executives and asked why we hadn’t made any announcement that I was the new co-host as originally planned. One said we needed to make it a spectacle, make me worthy of being a host and go through some degrading obstacle course. Another couldn’t give me a straight answer at first, and then finally settled on it would upset Alex. An announcement was never made.
Anytime I would need to leave the office Alex would call me and demand to know where I was. I couldn't even leave for lunch or a personal appointment without him calling to check on my location. I felt paralyzed and stuck because every time I'd go to the executives about his behavior I got the same line: Yes we know he's fucked up, but we have no choice; this is what we have to deal with.
Eventually, an executive told the CEO. The CEO decided that the three of us should go out to lunch to settle it. He and Alex were close friends and that was intimidating but I knew I had to say how I felt. I told them that they had created a misogynistic environment and how they were making me, and other women, feel uncomfortable in the workplace.
Alex did most of the talking, and the CEO was more concerned with seeing both sides. Alex said, "Why would I do that Erin? Why would I make anyone or any woman feel uncomfortable? Why would I make an environment like that?" I mentioned how I'm sure the other women who work for them must feel uncomfortable too and me saying how I feel should be enough. They both replied with, "Don't you think other women would have come forward and said something too?" There was clearly no winning. The conversation was a loss. I left that lunch feeling unheard and completely hopeless that any change would occur.
As time went on I was frequently cut out of special episodes, ad campaigns, and sponsorships with other companies. When we went to conventions I had to work alone while Alex got to go off to meetings and network.
Once, during a meeting with producers, we were looking for a cast member for a project, and I suggested a friend of mine. Alex cornered me and pressured me about whether or not I had sex with them in the past. I told him to drop it, but he wouldn’t. No one said or did anything.
Every time I stood up for myself I was treated like a nuisance, like I was hard to work with, or was causing a problem.
One day an executive took me out to lunch. He asked me how I was feeling about everything at the Attack and how I felt looking forward. I was honest with him, and said how I felt like I didn’t have a place or a voice. He reminded me that I should be grateful for what I have.
Every day I had to walk on eggshells around Alex’s volatile temperament. Everyday I had to defend myself or stand up for myself against something Alex had written into the show that either made me uncomfortable, or made me the butt of a joke.
The final time I went to the CEO about Alex, I said I was done and they needed to find someone new. I asked him, "How many times are we going to have this conversation? We both know nothing is going to change." He agreed, so I left the show.
Over the last 3 years people have asked me about my time at The Attack, but I never felt comfortable talking about it publicly. I was scared of retaliation, afraid of rocking the boat, terrified of being shunned and ruining my chances within the industry. I still feel that way. I am still terrified to put this out there but this is the truth so fuck it.
Change only happens when we speak up, share, and listen.