A statement, regarding Cryaotic.

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In light of everything that's transpired regarding Cryaotic, I feel the need to speak my piece about how Cry came to be in my life, what kind of man he portrayed to me in private, and finally, my decision to terminate our friendship in light of the recent events.

If you don't recognise my tag, I used to go by Lunast.

I also apologise for lapses in memory or if my account seems vague. The 2010s were a period in my life where multiple traumatic events have muddled most of my memory, hence why I refrained to comment until I could do some investigating myself.

Me and Cry first met in private through Crynime (so sorry for that trainwreck, but so glad that we did not go ahead with it) which I was co-producing. We continued to stay in casual contact since then.

Before I continue - I will not disclose my age here for private reasons, but I will state here that to the best of my recollection and investigation, I had been of legal age when speaking to Cry in a manner which is of an "adult" nature. For the sake of timeline- I first began privately conversing with Cry in a flirty but mostly professional relationship around 2013 (where I was a minor, but this is to be discounted as I took care to disguise my age back then), began talking to Cry in a sexually-charged way akin to a FWB situation from 2015-2017 (when I was of legal age), and have officially terminated our friendship as of 2020 once I found out about his grooming. We never had a relationship, and were never romantically involved.

Throughout our private conversations throughout the years, I had learnt that Cry was a flirt. This was not news to the fandom at the time, mind. Cry had always been known as the "playful" type in the fandom. He had a particular way of speaking to people - a cheeky, playful tone - which lures you in with the promises of an easy-going, down to earth guy who was not like the other youtubers.

Me and Cry's conversations had initially been mostly professional/friendly. There were times where the conversation had become sexual, such as the beginning of a RP, asking some explicit questions, etc., but for the most part, I had just brushed it off as casual flirting/feigning interest. I was still naive back then, and never stopped to consider how mirroring his manner of speaking back to him could be seen by a third party as infidelity as the RP/Emojis/Questions, though indirect, had still been sexually charged. It also did not occur to me that it was strange or inappropriate at the time, as I was completely tunnel-visioned on the project and in trying to maintain a working relationship with him, whatever the cost. It was clear that Cry was a very flirty person, we could not talk unless it became flirty in some way, and I made the selfish decision to flirt with him back in order to maintain the contact. I do not excuse my behaviour then, but know that my adoration for him as someone I once looked up to had clouded my better judgement.

I took a break from the fandom and from Cry after this as I was preoccupied with a private matter which completely broke me emotionally and mentally at the time. I still lingered around the fandom, but was no longer so active.

In 2015-17, I decided to reconnect with Cry, and our conversations took a turn for the more explicit. As far as I was told, him and Chey's relationship had been rocky but he did not elaborate further so neither did I. I had accepted that I did not know the guy and did not pry into his private affairs more. It seemed that he only wanted to fuck around with me to take his mind off work, and I was happy to oblige as I needed to take my mind off what was troubling me at the time.

As I began to get to know him more, I saw that he was a flawed man (though not necessarily the devil we know him as today) and that my teenage infatuation with him was nothing but a projection. As such, when we began associating sexually as adults, I have been careful to keep him at an arm's length. I did not like the man which I got to know, and I did not want to ruin my memory of him by prying under the mask and perhaps seeing something worse. At that point, he was just an old friend who is attached to many of my happy memories and friendships I'd made whilst in the fandom. I saw him as nothing more than a fond memory worth revisiting, he was not my friend in the sense that we cared about each other's wellbeing beyond the surface small talk though I did care for him - we did not know each other in any substantial regard. All I knew was he had an insatiable appetite for lust and I was one of his "play buddies" who was willing to return the favor with no questions asked.

I would like to think that my actions were my own, and that I have made these stupid adult decisions voluntarily of my free will for selfish reasons. However, I can't help but entertain the possibility that my judgement may be clouded and ultimately swayed by my idolization of him when I was a young fan, subconsciously, even after I was disillusioned to the type of man I'd learnt that he was. Whether this can be considered actual grooming or not, does not matter to me. It had the same subconscious effect and I am happy to leave it at that.

It’s important for me to state here that I do not consider myself a victim. So far as I am aware, we only began to associate in a sexually explicit way after I had left the fandom and become of age. As of 2017 I got into a relationship but he and I had kept contact, which was minimal. He had flirted with me many times since then, of which I rarely entertained him as I was preoccupied with studies and work.

Once the damning evidence came to light of his misdeeds, I had initially attempted to contact him to hear his side of the story. I now see that that would be fruitless and pointless. In view of the new testimonies which have come forth regarding his actions, I have now terminated our contact. He has not replied to any of my messages since the confession video was released.

I am disgusted by his actions and stand with the victims 100%. Although I did not know his victims first hand, these were regular names which I recognised from the fandom and I can testify to his character and their accounts. I now have no doubts that he would engage in such inappropriate behaviour with these young, impressionable fans and I know he gains some sick enjoyment out of talking to those who look up to him as one of the earliest questions he'd asked me was whether I had a "fangirl" phase. In retrospect, he was also incredibly manipulative in the way which he speaks, having told me that he had a kink for artists and hands whilst knowingly speaking to an artist (https://i.imgur.com/Hrbswec.png). I used to just take his words at face value, but now it seems like just another cheap manipulation tactic.

In retrospect, a lot of his actions were giant red flags, but we had all ignored them early on as we knew he was a flirt and had trust that he would not abuse that power against minors; We all assumed that he would keep his personal, adult affairs private and what two consenting adults do in private is no one's business but their own. I was aware that he had many such adult fuck buddies, but I was never aware that amongst them would be minors.

I have taken this time to reflect upon my own actions as well. There is a part of me that feels guilt, almost as if I had enabled him to become the monster he is today by feeding into his way of speaking, making excuses for his behaviour by justifying that "no one is perfect", but never did I ever think it would be this bad. I now know that regardless of what we could have said to him, it would not have made a difference. Cryaotic was in a position of power. Even if some of us had stood up against his actions, many others would have affirmed it. Cry only wanted to hear praise for his apolitical stance whenever drama arose, and many of us praised him exactly so. Cryaotic is the man in power, he has been an adult for a good decade now, he knows what he is doing and he did not stop. It is easy to get sidetracked and blame others of inaction, or blame yourself and others for not having stopped him in his tracks earlier, but this is not a responsibility for the victims, or us as a community to bear - this is Cry's responsibility and Cry's responsibility alone. The infighting within the community right now is exactly what he would want to distract from the real problem at hand: that such a predatory creator made the conscious decision to commit such atrocities and is yet to be held accountable for his actions.

Cry.

You are a sick, twisted man, and I do not say this as a compliment. I gave you a benefit of the doubt to keep your depraved adventures to yourself, out of eyes from the young, impressionable fans you knew you had. I could overlook many of your flaws, I did not care that you were a womanizer (in the most gender neutral way), a cheat, or a coward; but we all trusted you to not abuse your position of power as someone many of us looked up to. I don't believe you are malicious, but your utter carelessness for the wellbeing of others might as well have been for all the permanent scarring you've brought upon these kids.

It is NOT hard to ask for someone's age before engaging with them sexually. It is NOT hard to take care when speaking to your young fans to ensure that you're not leading them on. It is NOT hard to not be greedy and steal your best friend's partner from them, TWICE. You had MANY adult fuck buddies, I know I was not the only one, you had absolutely NO reason to sink that low, and I regret ever having entertained your sick little games. Words, no matter how perfectly put, mean nothing without action. Stop lying to everyone and pitching us against each other. Take the fucking responsibility for once.

Anyways. Take what I have to say with a grain of salt. As previously said, the 2010s have been a tumultuous time for me and much of my conversations with Cry pre-2015 have been deleted by me for the sake of his privacy and out of episodes of my own paranoia, so I would appreciate it if you make your own judgement here.

To the victims of Cry: I believe you. We, as a community, stand behind you. And I am sorry we did not see this sooner. I hope you can heal and be set free from this ordeal, and though I'm not sure how much my statement would help, I had hoped it would at least lend some strength to your accounts.

If you have any questions, please redirect them to my curious cat: https://curiouscat.me/smnius

If any victims or members of the LNC involved in this would like to speak to me or collaborate accounts, shoot me a DM.

Below are some sexual assault/abuse links:
https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline (US)
https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/national-helplines (UK)

As for me, I will be hanging back for a while from social media.

I am done with Cryaotic.

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