RagePanda Dirty 30 Pajamas · @SeaAir_Uh
26th Jun 2020 from TwitLonger
Me and @/jessyquill
I really didnt want to get into this but here we are. I want to be clear, Jessy has done great things but that doesnt mean she hasn't made mistakes. What she is doing for victims is important, but we all need to recognize that we do get too touchy and we need to own up and grow up. I am sure I have too and dont know.
I want to talk about PAX South 2016.
At the time I was dating W. We were both a part of Team Panda at the time and both were active streamers.
So at this convention I was actively trying to network and grow as a content creator. I'm not anymore because honestly it was too much. This was before Meta4Gaming, BubisAwesome, and a lot of other drama that just ruined it.
I have no idea why we were all together or what led to this moment but I do remember Jessy, W and I were all at a bar together. W was beyond drunk and sipping a beer. Jessy and I were talking and out of nowhere she told me I was pretty and kissed me.
She may have said something like sorry and I pushed it off but I was very uncomfortable. I couldnt figure out if I did anything to lead her on... I do very vividly remember the anxiety and overall discomfort. W was litterally standing right there and was completely oblivious and way too drunk. I wanted so bad to feel accepted and part of the group I didnt know what to do but just deal with it.
She told us her hotel was close and she wanted to help sober up W. So we went. It was not close, or it didnt feel that way because I was practically dragging W.
We got to the room and W decided he wanted to call S. I tried to be as uninviting as I could and tried to get W sober enough to get him to our room. I then had to drag him out and back to our room very late at night. It wasnt a good time.
I'm shaking thinking of this because I know Ive been used many times and I think the domino effect of it all just pushed me futher and further away from streaming. I know I may lose friends and people will likely get mad at me.
I want my story to be an example of how people can make mistakes and this industry has fostered this behavior. Jessy, I forgive you for it, and you are doing good things and I dont want to take that from you, but you are human and make mistakes. We all need to own up that we fostered a culture of being too touchy and need to learn from it.