littlesiha · @littlesiha
22nd Jun 2020 from TwitLonger
my experience dating IAmSp00n + the signs i ignored. tw; sexual abuse.
I am going to keep this relatively short because I know we’re all exhausted. The only thing that prompted me to write this was that I could share the signs I ignored to potentially help anyone who is seeing these red flags now.
I dated a streamer named IAmSp00n very publicly for 3 years. His sexual aggression was very widely known in his community, to the point where it was normal. No one questioned it.
He specifically had a taste for female streamers with a smaller following. In my case, he constantly used his sponsorship with a PC part manufacturing company as a power move.
Here are a few things I experienced with Sam. Please be aware there is sexual aggression in this list:
- Sam would not stop having sex with me until I started crying. When I did, he would stop and say some variation of, “I hate it when you cry because it makes me feel guilty,” which led me to consoling him.
- He cheated a lot. He manipulated women with his position in the industry, specifically women who did RP on Ark. Every time this happened, he begged me to stay, promised me everything, would write long twitter threads about how great I was. When I agreed to stay, he would go back to treating me badly. My therapist calls this love bombing. I managed to convince him to seek therapy. He went once, came back, and said, “I already knew everything she told me so I don’t think I need to go again.”
- He convinced me to quit things I loved, like competing in dance competitions.
- Multiple people tried to warn me about his behavior with women. When I confronted Sam, he said they were scorned and trying to ruin his life. People coming forward made him genuinely angry. I was so naive to ignore these warnings, and to those people, I say thank you so much for trying.
Sp00n has already announced his departure from the industry, but the truth is, it was never about ruining his life. It was about being heard and making people aware that this happens, *even when you are in a relationship with the person.*
If you are seeing signs of this in your own relationship, please get out. They will not change for anyone.