Im sorry I let everyone down.
Hey guys, I took a few days off to reflect on everything, I didn't want to make a generic apology and not really mean it. I wanted to think about all of my actions, the things I said, the things I did, to really look deep inside and ask myself if that's the person I want to be. Its not. Also, I don't ever think ignorance is a valid excuse which is why I want to educate myself about all of these issues very well. I hurt so many people with my words I realize that my ignorance can't be a justification so I want to use my platform to educate myself, my community, and other people around me if they don't know about these things. These issues really matter to me so I will dedicate a lot of time into learning about them.
I want to apologize for bringing up the story the way that I did when I was 17 when my best friend and I kissed. I was really irresponsible in reflecting on the story without giving the full context. This has raised some red flags and caused people to misjudge the situation. I will make sure to be mindful from this point on that I'm not misunderstood in the future by my poor choice of words. I also want to be clear that I think all sexual assault is wrong and I do not advocate for any acts that are pressured/forced or made uncomfortable for anyone even if the situation may seem innocent.
I wanted to apologize for the absolutely horrible and harmful behaviors I exhibited in my discord both recently and in the past. I am now aware how saying these kind of words can effect people and I am learning to reform the way I speak to and about others; so I can prevent any potential harm from now on. None of the things I said should have been memed or joked about because of the weight that this harmful rhetoric carries.
I will no longer be saying or allowing any of this negativity or toxicity in any parts of my life from now on.
I never thought these words I was carelessly and nonchalantly saying would cause actual harm to anyone, because that is the last thing I would want to cause. In my mind, I was using dark humor and other harmful words as a way to be edgy but I now realize how ignorant that was.
Ignorance is not any sort of excuse to justify my behaviors, my words, and my actions. This is why I will be avidly seeking education, changing my vocabulary and my community entirely.
I know that this situation was brought up entirely out of nowhere, and to be honest it blindsided me because I didn't understand the weight of my actions. However, I am truly grateful for this lifechanging experience because it has caused me to open my eyes to the reality of my harmful words and behavior. I understand that what I did was incredibly wrong.
I truly do care for people, and I genuinely am sorry if I ever hurt anyone by my words. I want people to simply exist in peace without feeling unaccepted, misunderstood, or that they aren't loved. I hope that this change in myself and my community will help these goals to be reached.