AnnieOnTwitch

ΛNNIE · @AnnieOnTwitch

18th Dec 2019 from TwitLonger

The End of Anne Dro


I'm getting lots of people asking when I will stream Overwatch again, which is hella annoying, so I wanted to clarify my thoughts. TLDR: I want to move on to other opportunities that I enjoy.

I started playing Overwatch in season 1, I bought the game on release because I had a great time with TF2 as a kid and it looked similar. It was the best game I've ever played. I remember staying up until 6 am night after night grinding ranked in the summer time, One tricking D.Va all the way to Top 500. It was the first game I was absolutely addicted to, and also the first game I felt special in. I had always been subpar at games, so to reach the very top felt euphoric to me. I grinded season after season, until I went away to college without a desktop, so I could no longer play until I visited home only to play nonstop again.

Eventually, College kicked my ass, and I messed up my life by abusing drugs. I had ruined so many relationships and opportunities and had lots of thoughts of ending my life. I had known I was trans since high school, but due to societal views I vowed never to reveal it to my family or friends. But since I felt like my life was at rock bottom, I figured I would at least come out of the closet and see whether or not I should keep going. My friends were accepting, but my family wasn't at first (They are very much proud of me now.) I worked full time jobs as a delivery driver to cover transition costs, and would come home to play Overwatch. While at my job there was a lot of downtime and I started to discover twitch about 2 years ago. I thought it looked really fun to stream, and started streaming on my days off.

To say it saved my life is euphemism. I found other trans friends that I could talk to, get advice, and become best friends with. Eventually I started to develop a huge LGBT and gaming community, where I started to make more money streaming than delivery. I got partnered on twitch, got amazing sponsors through working with John from Florida Mayhem, all in less than a year. It was a dream come true I thought. I quit my job to begin full time streaming. I grinded daily to become one of the most well known LGBT players in the community. I reached Top 50 consistently, kicked pros asses, it felt good.

But, about 8 months ago I started to really dislike everything. Every time I had to start stream and play Overwatch, I had tons of anxiety, so much so that there were days where I would throw up my medication and breakfast the second I opened OBS. I hated the game. I started to hate my job. I stopped talking to people. My friends, family, community. Why?

The game has a ton of issues. Maybe not to casual players who play a couple times a week, but to play it every day for 8+ hours, it became hell.

- Patches take way too long to implement. The release of brigitte who could brainlessly carry, doomfist and sombra who could brainlessly kill any tanks impact, grav dragon, mercy 2.0, hog orisa, double shield, anything orisa. All awful patches that plagued the game for MONTHS. Every patch it felt like I was playing against a character that I could do NOTHING against. I couldn't take it anymore, every game was fucking painful to play. And they aren't doing anything still. Orisa Sigma is just fucking boring to play and play against, and guess what, good luck to another 4 months of it after we've already had 4 months. Mei hanzo Bap? How is playing against that fun? The balance team is so disconnected to the competitive experience it is disgusting. If only they were forced to play the game everyday and see how fun it really is. Each meta truly gets worse and worse.

- Content is almost nonexistent or subpar at best. Every other game has content down. Amazing skins and purchase systems that drive tons of revenue, but overwatch barely has anything. OW Lootboxes are a terrible system and don't support the game. Some decent skins rarely, but every other game pumps out 10x the quality and quantity. And we have the same events for 4 years in a row, do people still work on this game? Junkersteins revenge I could probably make in GMod in a week.

- Role queue, while a good concept, has completely messed up balance with tanks. I'm getting full teams of Diamonds and Low Masters while Top 500. It's almost like I'm being punished for climbing, which is a big reason I used to love grinding. I used to be so frustrated getting 5 tanks on my team, but at least we were all grandmaster and I could flex for a game. Playing with people 800+ SR below me is PAINFUL. And it's 4/5 games now. Ridiculous!

- Community is full of drama and I'm no saint. Lots of people have blatantly slandered me, and I've done lots of things I regret and didn't have the balls to apologize for, but I never did so for selfish intentions, almost as if I felt backed into a corner to behave like the people attacking me. I'm tired of behaving like an infant like some other Overwatch streamers and I really want to start focusing on personal growth and being drama free.

- Transphobia: I think as I got more well known, I actually experienced less transphobia and made tons of friends I didn't even think were that accepting. I was always surprised when bigger streamers would duo with me, and I really felt that I had an effect on peoples perceptions towards trans people in a positive way. That being said, not a single day went by where I wasn't called slurs by someone. Whether in game or in streams, it always seemed like people were after me in the Overwatch community. You can say this applies to gaming, or the world in general, but it's different when lots of people know who you are and seek out to completely ruin your mood every single day. Even with my thick skin, shit still weighs down on you gradually.

- Hero Picks: In overwatch you have two options, play meta, or be flamed extensively and shit talked by people in the community. And it's been like this since the game came out. For tank players now, if you don't play Orisa you will have everyone in your game whine/blame you for a loss. Not only is Orisa one of the most overpower kits, it's also the most brainless design I've ever had the displeasure of being forced to play. I feel so incredibly let down by the games design as it's released patches. The game has become so skill-less. I used to feel like I made an impact with my mechanics and game knowledge, but not anymore.

There is so much more I could type but it just boils down to: The game isn't fun to me anymore. Rather than stream it miserable for large viewership and money (like an uncomfortable amount of other streamers), I think it's just time I move on to other things that I actually enjoy. I could thank people, but its just gonna be hundreds of names and I'm not gonna stop talking to you losers anyway. I do want to thank the Florida Mayhem team, specifically John, for all of the amazing opportunities they've given me however. Never have a met such great people and been able to travel and see such amazing things in my entire life. I'm unsure if I'm able to stay with them as a streamer or if I will be able to be adopted onto Misfits, but I will continue to rep them in the meantime, and will hype them up next season of OWL. (Or if y'all want to sign another person, it better be Violet)

I have lots of potential, I can feel it. I will one day be spectacular, known around the world. But until then, I'm just going to keep on keeping on. I will be doing variety streaming and waiting for Project A to see if its decent. I've been playing Witcher 3, Red Dead Redemption, League, Rainbow Six, whatever I'm excited for. I started to succeed with streaming because I was passionate about a game I love, and I want to recapture that feeling. I will also be doing amateur modeling with patreon, writing music and singing, trying my best to live healthy and happy. If you read all of this then you truly care about me, as do I, so please drink some water dear.

Trans rights

<3 Annie Roberts (Formerly known as Anne Dro)

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