moky_dokie

moist | moky · @moky_dokie

18th Jun 2019 from TwitLonger

Life Update


I’ve been wanting to try to keep life stuff more hidden as of recent but I feel like I kind of have to make an update at the moment since this will really impact my melee career

I just found out my father got fired from his job. He is the person who pretty much provides everything for me, like a place to live, food, etc. He lost it due to issues with alcohol, and because of this I am extremely unsure that he is going to look for and be able to hold a job. He apparently has just been drinking and smoking in his room the last week and hasn’t really left it.

My mother passed away when I was really young (like 9), and we either cut out or got cut out of the rest of our family’s lives, so I don’t really have any family to fall back on at the moment. I don’t really want to get heavy into details but the last couple of years for me have been fucking bad. I know I’m old enough where I shouldn’t really be reliant on my family still (just turned 20) but because of my super unstable childhood and family life I just lack all of the experience I need and I’m honestly really fucking scared and worried at the moment.

This is also why I’ve been really back and forth with melee recently. It’s always in the back of my mind that I'm running out of time to make melee a viable career option for myself, and unfortunately I feel like my time is actually officially up now.

I feel really motivated at the moment after summit and I’m going to try to make everything work but I’m likely going to have to get a shitty entry level full time job and just won’t have as much time to pursue melee as i’d like to. At that point I don’t even know if I want to try since it would be extremely hard to find time and energy to stream and travel.

I’m thankful for the support I’ve gotten recently and I really wish I could make it up to everyone who’s donated and subbed to me recently. I promise I’m going to try my best but it's looking really grim for me right now

I know this is all the same shit I always say but its fucking hard and I honestly just feel lost. Especially since the last few weeks have been such an extreme high for me just to come back home and be met with this news.

Thanks for reading and sorry to anyone I disappoint with this

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