ZeroJanitor · @ZeroJanitor
3rd Jun 2019 from TwitLonger
Gender: Going Forward
A few days ago, I came out publicly on Twitter (as well as a few other websites) that I would be going by she/her pronouns and identifying as a transgender woman for the time being. This was a transition from they/them pronouns and a nonbinary gender. I'd been having a lot of curiousity about if being a girl would resonate with me, and my intention was for this to be a 'trial run' to see if I liked being a girl and if it suited me.
First off, I want to apologize for not making this aspect of my coming out more clear in my initial tweets. This is key information and I failed to express it properly, so I apologize for the confusion.
Over the past few days, I've come to a conclusion; being a woman simply is not clicking with me. I did expect going into it that it would be weird and take some time to really adjust and wrap my head around. And yes, admittedly it's only been about three days, not nearly enough time to actually get acclimated to a significant change in how I present myself. All this in mind, "girl" doesn't feel like something I need to grow into so much as something that didn't fit me in the first place.
When I first started identifying as nonbinary, it was weird but it felt right immediately. It still feels right. That's still how I think of myself, and it's how I want to keep thinking of myself.
Not to say that my 'trial run' was for nothing: I learned a lot from it. Things are a lot more clear to me now. That's why "detransitioning" doesn't feel like a backwards move to me, because I came out of these last few days knowing a lot more about my identity and what makes me personally feel comfortable.
I'm going back to they/them pronouns primarily, and I'm not identifying as a girl anymore. Not quite sure about the name "Zoe" yet.
I still greatly appreciate the support all of my friends showed. TBH I feel extremely awkward about taking it all back this soon after the fact. I didn't put enough forethought into how I should have approached the situation and I might have jumped into it for the wrong reasons. I know it's pretty soon to be making this post but I'd like to believe it's better than waiting and dragging it out in the hopes that it gets any less awkward.
Thank you for reading, I sincerely hope you can understand where I'm coming from and why I made this Twitlonger. And I hope this doesn't make things weird.