Me, this Major & Siege
Don’t want this to be longer than needed.
I have no personal beef with anyone on the roster, i like everyone as a person and especially doki has a place in my heart. It’s just a team that i don’t want to be a part of.
I made the decision to leave the team during Bootcamp before the stage even started.
I thought that I’ll might be able to stay till after invite, but I realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want to stay in this team.
The last few months have been very draining mentally, because of stuff that happened outside of siege. I’ve lost important people in my life and couldn’t attend funerals, because i didn’t want it to affect the teams schedule nor did I want anyone to know really , so i never told anyone about what’s happening. The only people that knew were my IRL friends and my beautiful Mum.
Even though the team has always said that we should and could share everything with each other (and they genuinely meant it), I never felt like I could just clear my head and enjoy my time with the team while working with them like in my 2 previous teams. This is also the reason for deactivating my socials for some time.
I never received any death threats nor do I care about online hate. I honestly couldn’t care less about negativity from people that I don’t know.
I want to thank everyone for the supportive messages i received after I activated everything again. It’s been truly appreciated ❤️ Just know that you had nothing to worry about.
Since the inception of the team, we had the problem of multiple ideas clashing and too many voices. We tried figuring it out and i believe that everyone gave their best effort to do so, but considering what was happening behind the scenes I had no power left in me to „fight“ to IGL so I was letting others speak more.
Ben naturally took over IGLing and leading the team in the middle of the season and has done a great job so far.
Hes also the one person I’m the most proud of as he changed for the better massively the last 2 months.
I have informed management about my decision after the 2nd or 3rd game this stage, not because we lost, but because I wanted to give them time to find a replacement that might fit the team better than I did.
I don’t know if the team was thinking about replacing me anyways and I wouldn’t blame them if they would.
Especially during stage 2 I didn’t perform as well as I could or still can and i didn’t plant as often 😂
Although it might’ve seemed like i was trolling multiple plants (and I definitely did mistakes) people obviously don’t hear comms so they don’t know reasonings behind decisions etc.
I hope for the guys that they’ll be successful and find their perfect fit.
As for me, i hope that I’ll find a team that I can vibe with and compete. Until then I’ll focus on building a life outside of siege as well.
Thank you to G2 for giving me the opportunity to represent the org and thank you to my teammates for memorable 6 months 😘