TAIGA - Twitch Partner · @TaigaUnderHell
2nd Aug 2022 from TwitLonger
Clearing the Air
No. I did not engage in acts of pedophilia nor grooming. I don’t even know where this grooming allegation came from, in particular considering I have never had contact that was sexual of any nature with a minor. This is a blatant lie and there is zero evidence to support this, and even the original google doc never claimed this. Shotacon is not pedophilia and the word should not be used towards lolicons/shotacons for the sole reason that it lessens the impact of the word and undermines and INSULTS real victims. When someone says that word, we naturally think that the individual has harmed a poor child. By using this word towards people who have only indulged in loli/shota content, it lessens the meaning behind the word and will ultimately harm the community since people will now second guess the claim because it is used towards shota/loli content.
Lolis/Shotas are not real. They should not be treated as actual children. This isn't to say that you must like the content. Each person can like/dislike whatever content they consume, but we shouldn't go as far as dehumanizing a person or making outrageous claims because we don't like it. In the past many individuals who cried out that loli/shota content was equivalent to actual children have been shown to be actual abusers. We must understand that imaginary characters do not exist, and if we wish to ignore that and just claim that everything imaginary is real:
1:"Killing in video games makes you a murderer"
2:"Committing crimes in a game mean you are a criminal"
3:“TBagging in video games is sexual assault”
4:"Violent video games create violent individuals"
We can all agree that these sound ridiculous, and there have been countless studies disproving this claim. If you intend to use your platform to help victims, then please go help victims and not attack people who enjoy a type of content you dislike. Donate to charity, fundraise, volunteer at shelters.
The screenshot of me asking to be shown “lewds” (NOT nudes like people love to claim) of someone suspected to be under 18 was merely a crude joke, however it was absolutely disgusting to say. I would never make that joke today. It was completely inappropriate, but at the time that was my sense of humor. (And for context since the original callout is completely lacking, I was a teenager just finishing off high school and the person in question was allegedly 17.) What is even more gross to me looking back is joking about asking for someone's private images without consent from the actual person. If anything I should've been more vocal about how they let a minor post more than 20 images of themselves in the server they were moderating before verifying their age.
Addressing the screenshot saying, "Why didn't the gym teacher touch me in middle school, I was so cute back then. I would have molested me": This is literally, verbatim, a quote from Mac, from the show "It's always Sunny in Philadelphia" S1 Episode 7 titled "Charlie got Molested". Me saying that was taken out of context to help push the narrative of the document. It's unfortunate the quote got taken out of context.
Regarding the commission art of my persona along with well known characters from HxH(Hunter x Hunter): Yes, I commissioned art that I liked. It's fine to say you don't particularly like what I have commissioned nor is anyone saying you have to. However, in no way, shape or form are any of the characters drawn like, or are meant to represent, actual children and it is absurd to make such claims. If you truly believe such content is akin to actual cp, then I ask you: Have you made such claims or attempts to get rid of the millions upon millions of r34 of your favorite anime characters? Chances are your favorite waifu or husbando is not over 18. It's a common thing within anime for the characters to be underage, so I genuinely have no idea why it would suddenly be an issue just because the characters are boys.
In regards to the allegations that a minor was posting nudes on our server, no images of minors were ever allowed on the old server, not that I was even the owner anyway. (CONTEXT: when I say old server I am referring to a community I was a part of a year BEFORE I started VTubing, I was not the server owner, and ownership was only transferred to me after the original owner had left, at which point the server promptly died and went inactive. IRL photos have been and always will be completely banned on both of my vtuber servers.) If anything even remotely risky was posted by someone we believed to be a minor the messages would be removed, he/she/they should have been kicked/reported and banned. The notion that I was a "Bitch about it" is just baffling because MINORS DO NOT BELONG IN A SPACE OF ADULT THEMED CONTENT. We had one minor on the entire server who we met during a Destiny 2 raid if I recall correctly. They were given a role that blocked them from interacting with ANY NSFW channels as soon as we found out. The person in question was suicidal and the moderation team, as a team, decided giving them that role was fine. The claims of me not caring or not removing it is nothing more than a blatant lie, and the suggestion that I was solely responsible for every decision made on a server I didn’t even own at the time is rediculous. I only have a vague recollection of any incident even remotely similar to what's being described and I sure as hell had nothing to do with it. I find it insulting that this accusation is being included considering what the person making it later did to the minor in question. Even within the post itself, they state that "Due to the fact there are no direct screenshots of taiga, this may need to be taken with a grain of salt". They are literally admitting they have no evidence. This claim is made up.
The screenshots of me discussing himepen were all taken before her google doc had even been released, at that point I knew as much as anyone else did at that moment, and I was far from the only one defending her. I’ve since changed my stance after seeing the irl photos.
Racism images shown within the documents are false except for admittedly one. The
rali-cat tweet of "Fuck white people am i right my fellow blacks" was done by me.
I was 15 when I tweeted that. 15. I understand that tweet and any others made at the time are completely inappropriate and racist. Like most people when they were 15, those actions do not represent who I am today. During that time, shock humor was common and my sense of humor was influenced by the media I consumed and people I hung out with, and continued to be throughout my teenage years. Still I apologize. I have profusely educated myself in the last decade. The other images are false, I am unable to verify this as I can’t prove a negative. But the lack of context and supporting evidence of the screenshots should speak for itself. All I can do is ask: Why is that single discord image cropped and blacked in that manner when no other discord image is edited in that manner?
The transphobia is just blatantly false. I've always promoted trans positivity in my community and I actively call out transphobia whenever I encounter it. I’m sure I have accidently addressed individuals based on their mannerisms or voice without thinking. I have no recollection of doing so with malice but I will openly apologize to these individuals if they wish to reach out to me. I have and would never intentionally do such things. Two people with their names blurred having a conversation, saying I did a thing, is not evidence. That is the literal definition of hearsay.
The general toxicity: Yes, I will fully admit I could be an absolute cunt behind the scenes. I've been working on that my entire life and have continued to try to be less of a cunt since. I got extremely volatile when stressed, and there were times where I didn’t even notice myself becoming irate. I often skipped meals to make more time to stream, and doing so would negatively affect my mood also. When I got like that, most of the time I would shut down and just dissociate from everyone for the rest of the night until I got something to eat in the morning, at which point my mood would immediately improve, although it took me a while to realize that. Other times though, I would lash out at those trying to help me feel better. It was poor behavior. I own that. Since then I have been improving my eating habits and paying more attention to what I say, the way I say it, and my mental state. I’ve been doing better at noticing when I’m about to get angry, and stopping it from happening altogether.
To end this document, the reason why I haven't addressed this sooner was because, admittedly, I was terrified. You get this wave of people who judge you and immediately find you guilty without letting you voice your side of the story. So I just started blocking people because I felt like I was having a panic attack. After calming down and discussing it with some close friends, I realized this document was needed. I just want my side to be heard and for others to realize that I am not the monster that was painted within the document. I've worked on my flaws and have attempted to make good notions with my platform. I did a charity event not long ago raising money for children within hospitals. It felt nice helping others and enjoying the stream but of course in the back of my mind it always reminded me of all the things people told me and made me question myself. It genuinely all drove me to a corner that I don't want to return to. So I ask you sincerely, please hear me out and make your judgment with that. I am not asking for forgiveness, I have wronged people just as some have wronged me. I want to air things out and let go of this constant dread plaguing my life. Thank you.