i am taking a break from EVERYTHING indefinitely.
tl;dr - the past month has been hell and has creatively burnt me out so i am pushing myself away from all of my projects until i have recovered.
ive been trying to avoid this for a while by trying to be more lenient with myself on taking breaks (as much as my brain hates it) but its finally happened - i am creatively burnt out.
this is due to events over the past month filling me with ungodly amounts of stress and horrid emotions that ive been trying to deal with, including:
- finally pulling myself out of an abusive relationship
- being overworked at my job to the point of exhaustion (tills are horrible)
- handling too many projects at once
- increased family responsibilities due to my sister moving out
- and today, pet death
the result of all of this is that im struggling to create anything of worth. i try to write stories or stickers out and nothing generates in my head. i try to draw art and end up with nothing more than tiny little useless doodles. i cannot find the time inbetween anything to work on schedules for my watchalong discord server. new ideas ive been having - including wanting to make some ambient tape-ish audio again to express feelings ive been having - have felt impossible to start.
what i want more than anything is the thing that my brain has struggled to give me for the past few years - a goddamn break. it has felt like an impossibility mostly because the idea of *not* making anything feels worse - such is the cursed learning of being "useful" and always being active in your hobbies. but if i don't give myself one now i fear i'm going to just completely collapse in on myself. so i am finally pulling myself away from all of my projects and giving myself a true, unproductive hiatus.
in short, this means:
- comfy tv's ongoing VHS HELL is cancelled - fellow comfer Vordus has offered to take the reins on the comfy tv project during this hiatus
- a couple of sticker designs that ive already sent off to be printed will be released in june - outside of this no new stickers will be made, although i may post pictures of old ones still
- i will not be making art in general
- all new projects such as the aforementioned ambient audio are on hold
- i will likely be far less active on my main social media accounts, and far more active in places like discord servers where i can just hang out with friends (note: if we're mutuals, you're free to request my private accounts where i'll also be hiding more. @lighttrax on twitter, @firstname.lastname@example.org on mastodon. note that i may not accept)
despite the brain rot of "usefulness is required" i will be trying my darndest to stick to this hiatus. i don't know when this will end, but it's likely going to be a while before you see me being creatively productive again and posting fun art and things.
i would normally apologize for doing this but i know this is what's right for me, and i know if i say that i'm just going to get a lot of people telling me so. :p
thanks to everyone who has been sticking with me and helping me through all of this - i love you all too much to say properly, and i owe you all one.
see you around o/