PMD Explorers of Alpha · @EoAlpha_off
31st Mar 2022 from TwitLonger
About me, and why is the project at this point right now
There's several things I had to post about Alpha since January 10 2022, around 9 PM Paris-time. If you are carefully following my socials (Discord, Twitter), you may have noticed I have been way more silent about Alpha lately. There's many many reasons to that, I will explain them all down below
First of all, Alpha deving has come to a state where all the tasks I have to complete on my to-do list are either time consuming, really difficult, or both. I have spent a whole month designing the whole 14 Treasure Dungeons to feel like an actual Mystery Dunegon and to make sure they aren't a slog to play, I have spent 2 weeks pulling off a dynamic internal randomizer... It's very hard to process all the tasks without feeling burned out, and getting into my to-do list can be painful sometimes, especially since around 3 months
What happened at the date and time I wrote earlier has completely tanked the Alpha project and everything related to my life. I don't want to talk deeply about who I am, what I have went through, but I have experienced a handful number of bad things when I was around 9, and this has heavily impacted me for the rest of my life. Living all of this has turned me into a "machine" trying to always succeed in what it wants to do, not even believing in the casual human concepts like trust or friendship because both have led him to misery.
However since 8 months I had found someone that found how to hit the human part of my being and we turned out to be lovers... just to be betrayed again, the very same way I have been earlier in my life.
From that occurred depression, anxiety, and a will to throw everything off the window, even myself at times. As a result I have heavily postponed Alpha's development. The drive that helped me moving forward in my project ceased functioning this day. If you check my profile, my Alpha trailer is deleted, she was the one that helped me with this trailer and I don't want to ever face my past again.
While I had motivation in learning new things when deving Alpha in the past, it's very hard to get my brain wired for that again. And development is thus slowing down ever since this day. Depression caught up, anxiety is my daily routine, and seeing shadows from the past doesn't help. If you add to that the instances of stolen stuff from Alpha I've experienced in the past and other things, it's very hard to move forward
That's why I insisted in "no ETA". I don't want to kms trying to go against my will and shatter everything including myself as a result. I want to find the fun in developing Alpha like I used to before these 8 months of faked happiness. I want to feel myself capable of pulling off the best hack of Explorers of Sky you could possibly play, and I want to feel proud of my work
I think will work on a showcase for Alpha later when I feel I can do it, it's more relevant than a trailer for 2.0. Considering how stuffed the changelog for 2.0 is, adding 1.X features means a 2 minutes trailer will clearly not be enough to show "what is Alpha"
I am terribly sorry to keep giving you bad news about Alpha's development. It's not my fault, however I feel like I need to be completely honest with you when communicating about the game. Writing "ETA early Summer" would be completely not realistic considering how my mind can be erratic lately...
Hope you are still hyped for 2.0 update.
Sincerly,
Mond