why i removed denzaay from the team and why we parted ways with tyler.

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Denzaay.

For almost 2 months denzaay's mental and phisical health was on an all time low, he told us he was depressed and played like he was beign forced to, he talked alot about how is health was bad, mid september we were downhill and i talked with the coaches saying that the team was not going to perform and that denzaay was sleeping and he didnt listened to anything i try to teach him, i was actually done and told them that there was no way i could make a team with no motivation to work or to learn win anything, they say for me to stay calm that they were going to work with him and post, to give them time.

2 weeks past and our team is the lowest state ever, i schedule a team meeting where i spended 3 hours talking with post and denzaay, talking about how we need to give it all, talk how the position we are in is once in a lifetime and to understand what was happening and why for 1 month and a half we are doing worse and worse and why people don't care about anything when we are 2 weeks before pro league starts.

basicly post said he wasn't sure on why he wasn't able to perform, denzaay said that he was not motivated (with a pro league about to start) that he was depressed for a while and that he doesn't have the passion and that before he grinded alot but now he almost cant touch the game.

after that meeting, we improved 200% the next day (wich proved my point of not performing because we were just playing careless) and we started to perform in scrims and daily tournaments, i got us a bootcamp of 3 weeks in portugal, i took care of everything and paid for denzaay flight, i spent a night with him seeing polish trains, how he get to airport, getting him data on the cellphone cuz he didnt have, me, the coach and my girl.

the next day the scrim shit happen where im frustrated about a play and he yelled back

i stayed quiet and let things cool down, i was allready in my limit about denzaay and the team overall performance (with pro league in one week, everything i was taking care for the team and all the work i was putting in, not saying im easy to deal with, but if im extra stressed sometimes i can be harsh and that is something that for some players affects more than to others), ultimately i talked with the coaches saying that i was not sure about denzaay and i was going to wait to see what he said about the situation
2 days after no one from the team talks anything, and we shedule a meeting, where me and the coaches where the only one talking for almost all the meeting, sharing my feelings about everything about the team, the past few monthsm
denzaay in the end says that he was delaying the situation, that he has been annoyed by me for alot of times and he was just trying to control himself for the entire time, plus he apolagized but (IN MY PRESPECTIVE) he still felt righteous about what he said and how he behaved, was an apology just to ignore and move on.

but for me i couldn't, him saying that he has been controling himself for a long time meant that he didn't understand anything about me and everything i was putting into the team, showed me aswell that the reason he wasn't improving anything that i said he needed to improve its because instead of actually understanding what i was trying to teach him he would just take things personally and bottle emotions + a mix of the depression and not beign motivated.

ultimately after that last meeting i felt that longterm that team wasn't going anywhere, that denzaay is cracked but he didn't had a good mentality to be in a team with me, that he didn't respected me or my work enough and that what happened in that scrim, was just the start of all the problems to come.
he is a good guy, and a great mechanical player, but for a long term project was just not it for me, and i prefered to play pro league with a sub and be with a good mindset then to force myself to play with a guy that i feel is was a ticking bomb, because i know how much i put effort, the way i am will not change that much. and with all those issues beign fresh and in 2 days i was going to get him to the airport and was going to be living with him for a few days that was just putting me in a anxious situation.

maybe if that situation mid scrims didn't happen the team would have stick together for a while, but the reasons for me to let him go was way more than someone yelling back at me, it wasn't the action itself but what that action and the afterwards meant.

this is a summed up version of MY prespective on things and why for ME i felt this was something i need to do, like i said in the day this happened, i've discussed this alot with everyone close to me and everyone understood where i was comming from and for me that was enough at the time, that's why despite all the hate i just kept going with my work.


About tyler

not going too deep on why we decided he wasn't the player we felt we needed for a long term.

at a first instance, we needed a player to play pro league with us, and out of the pool of players, tyler was a player that we knew we already had made instant results and thats what we needed. when i talked with him in a first instance i told him that we would give him a shot despite everything that happened the first time we parted ways with him, but for this to be a longterm situation he would have to behave and show the type of work we were looking for.

like you guys know we started strong with a 3rd place that could have been easly a top 1, but week after week, performance and team chemestry instead of going up was just going down. i already talked with tyler personally and explained all the reasoning we had behind why i felt he wasn't the piece we were looking.

i felt drained since after championship i had alot of oportunities to build something better, i had orgs offering to me, players offering to come to join me and post if we kicked our 3rd and they would have bring top tier org, and by the end of pro league we were just completly lost.

ultimately was my fault since most of the decisions were mine, to add, to remove, to decline offers, the methods and how things roll out.

after week 4, i decided that i wanted to give up on pro league, that we weren't going to lan and i just needed some time to relax and to think about my future and the future of NEW.

we parted ways with tyler and with the coaches and we were going to play the rest of pro league with our sub and friend senzz. my goal was just to finish pro league, have some fun as friends, and with time make the next decision.

then the lan get's canceled, we would still play with senzz but last minute his university changed his exam and we were forced to find a player last minute and vjeix was the player we decided to run the last 2 matchdays.


Final words, all the situations everyone at one point or another were at fault, and depending on how you see it you can allways point fingers, but at the end of the day im just here to play apex and to fight for my dream, im not here to fuck anyone or to harm anyone just because, but at the same time im not going to harm myself just because i know people will lash at me on twitter.

didn't put much tought into this tweetlong and decided to express myself due to alot of people to this day still ask me about these things and for all the misconceptions out there that continue to spread.

Not only to denzaay or tyler, to everyone that already has played with me, i wish you all the best, and every single one of you has teached me something that made me a better player or a better person, best of luck to you all.

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