milo · @milo_jpeg
23rd Dec 2021 from TwitLonger
Quitting vtubing officially
I still enjoy making content, I have been working as an editor, along with, well, obviously drawing the art assets for vtubers. I may not like streaming, but from what little ive done, I very much enjoy writing, and making video essays for youtube. Which is why i'm officially quitting vtubing. I know a lot of people are going to tell me I can still be a vtuber while making youtube or art content, but it doesn't feel right.
I don't want to call myself a 'Vtuber' because of the stereotypes accociated with vtuber content, and wishing to not be apart of it. Things like being constantly overshadowed by corporate vtubers who will debut and instantly gain more fame than I could ever imagine. The pressure to uphold an imaginary 'Character' and voice that isn't me. The pressure to fake my reactions and emotions to be 'entertaining' on screen. It is a looming pressure over my mind to succeed, do well, if I don't be a perfect 'idol' like everyone else in the community i'll never be able to be succeed.
I know people are going to tell me numbers don't matter, and 'why can't you just have fun with it'. Its a problem with me. I want to succeed, I want to make things *I* and *others* will enjoy. And when I got caught up in debut streams, collabs, overlays, personality, voice. I kept thinking about how bad my content was, how much I hated it. I just had to register at some point that maybe the reason I don't like my own content was because I don't even like watching vtubers.
I'm not trying to say 'god everyone in this community sucks, and I hated you all from the beggining'
I just don't think a lot of this idol culture is for me. And of course this doesn't represent everyone, especially indies. But aslong as I call myself a 'Vtuber' the accociation with corporate idol culture will always be a suffocating pressure.