TLDR: I was sexually assaulted by valorant player ValdyN.
In November 2021, I hung out with ValdyN we were friends for a bit before this and it was not the first time that we had met. I considered him a close friend and trusted him so i did not expect this to happen. we have been alone together before so i would've never thought that this would happen. he has sent me uncomfortable texts asking to fuck or that he wanted to suck my tits but i didn't think much of it.
we were talking and he kissed me. the kiss was consensual, but everything that came along after that was not. he asked me if i wanted him to do anything to me, and i clearly said no. yet, he still groped me and humped me without my consent. he kept asking me to do stuff to him like "suck my dick" where i declined. i was clearly uncomfortable and tried to not focus on the situation.
i did not recognize that it was being assaulted until the day after. i convinced myself that i initiated the assault and that it was my fault, even having people telling me that i was "sending him signals" though after getting profesional help i understood that it was not my fault. i was unable to do any work and my grades started declining.
it hasn't been that long ago and understanding that the longer i keep silent the less the consequences will be for him. i'm not going to be able to let go knowing that he has a clear conscious after what happened. i tried acting like i didn't care about the issue after it happened but i do. i have bpd along with several other mental illnesses and it makes moving on from this quite difficult. i just wanted to make sure that i will be able to move on. i would not have a clear conscience if this happens to anyone else by the same person because i didn't speak up. please be careful.