Worlds and who made it work.
I’m posting this now, even though it is too late.
But, I wanted to clarify my situation the best I could, in the hopes it might help her.
Lena is my significant other. She’s been supporting me unconditionally for 3 years.
Recently, I hurt her. A month ago. I hurt her badly. It was my fault.
We talked it over.
Then, I had a job to do in Iceland. She was still hurt, and I worried about her. As one should.
She has supported me unconditionally for years. Of course I worry about her. Just like I am right now.
In this time period, she set aside all our issues to support me. She was there every single day.
Without fail, when I had an issue, she was there. When I played poorly and wasn’t confident in my skills, she gave me confidence. When I broke down, she was there to pick up the pieces. When I was happy, she made sure I stayed happy.
She gave me the energy to help bolster the team. I was able to be the person Fnatic needed in this trying bootcamp. I compensated for others energy, at her expense. You might ask why at her expense? I told you. I hurt her, and she watched me through all of this.
Regardless of the day, or time. She was there for me every single step of the way. Giving me everything I needed to fight with everything I had.
This lasted for the entirety of the tournament. I can tell you with confidence that the only reason
Fnatics week 2 wasn’t void of hope completely, is thanks to her. She suggested us to play together. Find a way to smile together. Enjoy ourselves, and fix our communication in game. She identified our issue insanely well based on what I told her went wrong, and her perception.
I brought the team together thanks to Lena.
Now you may ask, why was week one so difficult? How isn’t it her fault?
It’s pretty simple. A day before we found out we weren’t going to be playing with our main lineup, we had no information about what was going on. I found out we weren’t going to be playing with the lineup we were supposed to. The one I invested my split into. The one Lena spent so much effort on, supporting me.
I broke down in tears because I knew it was doomed. I didn’t know what to do. All our success came from our bot lane. Without it, I didn’t see a way.
Lena sat there in a call with me, listening to me cry. She set aside her pain so she could support me through this. No, I couldn’t get over it in 16 hours. I also couldn’t in 40. Neither in 64. Losing everything you’ve worked for months, and being asked to start from zero 16 hours before we play? This broke me.
I wanted to go home. To see her, to appreciate her, to thank her. I was set on it. I didn’t see why I should suffer through this event. It was hopeless. She convinced me to stay. Even though she wanted me to be with her to talk to me. About us.
She set that aside, again.
I was so frustrated with how it was handled. I unfollowed FNATIC and it’s management in my anger. I had nothing to say about the situation. It was dawned upon me and the rest of the team all of a sudden with no warning. It felt so unfair.
She had spent her everything on giving me the best opportunity possible. Knowing now that that’s out the window? She was frustrated too. And yet, she is labeled as a psychotic, selfish bitch. I can't understand it.
I’m giving this context because of the responses to her frustrations. People assume she was the reason I was distraught, and I did nothing. I regret it so much.
Lena received death threats from my community. From my fans. My organizations fans. She was berated for weeks, and I stood there and let it happen. Because I let her put me first.
In my interview, I tried to clarify that she was the reason I was still fighting. Somehow people believe she broke up with me?
She actively avoided that possibility throughout the entirety of the tournament, as not to hurt me. To make sure my head is in the right place.
I write this now because she’s hurt beyond what I can understand. I’m writing this because I want you all to know the truth. She did everything she could for me. Every single day. She fought so fucking hard to make my tournament memorable. And all I could do for her was let her get shit on. All you could do was blame her for things that had nothing to do with her.
She went off social media because of the hate. Because of the pain. The death threats.
I’ll be leaving indefinitely myself. I’m exhausted. I gave it my all and watched my significant other take the blame for issues that had NOTHING to do with us. I regret everything about that.
I’m writing this because I’m done watching.
I hope the people that went out of their way to shit on her understand how unfair and disgusting your “diagnoses” of the situation really is.
Ultimately, I’m at fault. I should have done better.
Good bye. I’m going to try everything to make this right to her.