Addressing rumors about me
We all need to sit the fuck down and chat
I wanna remind y'all that accountability looks much more than public aggression and humiliation. Accountability can also come in the form of friendship, leading by example, having patience, reaching out, and love for those who we felt wronged by.
I am not a savior. I am human.
For my own mental health, for the people I hold near and dear to my heart who've been harmed by my actions (even if you may feel if I am in the right for what I've done), for dismantling this culture of fear in place for one of radical kindness and mutual aid,
I must change
We all must change how we approach one another. Some people are beyond reason, yes.
However, we can't afford to be cynical and jaded. Our biases, trauma, and self-defense has transformed into something else over time. We sacrificed truth for vengeance and violent catharsis
We are all miserable wretches barely holding on to the porcelain pieces that fall off one fragment at a time with every step. Those of us who do work on ourselves are constantly in repair with a beautiful gold filing.
We don't know one another. Not really. Yet we claim to be apart of a "Community". We do not break bread together nor do we take time to celebrate and make experiences
None of us are who we once were. We have all grown and are constantly growing. Life is always in flux and flow--all interconnected--far more connected than we may think.
I'm not going to ask for forgiveness from anyone with how I handled recent events
I do not want forgiveness. I seek understanding. True understanding of one another. True understanding that we need to help one another grow.
These spaces we live in...they're terribly small. So small, that you actually are connected to so many people you idolize
I am not one to idolize. I may have rebranded as an idol, and yet I do not wish to be idolized. I understand that parasocial relationships will happen. It comes with the territory.
I just need to reiterate that I am not your savior. I am not the one who will make things right
You don't know me. You don't know my needs nor do you care outside of rumors and an idealized image of me, for better or for worse.
I am also not a super villain. Many of you give me far too much credit. I am just a loud mouth, talented, wise trans Chicana bimbo on the internet
I bring all of this up bc I ask for trust and patience, not idolization n whatnot. I cannot hold any of your hands every step of the way to being who you can be as clients or as people, but I know I can be the best me that I can be and be a good friend to people I chose to love
There is much MUCH more I'd like to say, but I am aware of all of the rumors that fly around even if I am not totally aware of who spreads them.
I don't let it affect me unless it presents the potential for harm.
Rn, as a community, we need to take a step back and soul search
I will do my best and answer questions on how to do introspection and how to reassess accountability n whatnot.
All I know is that *this* cannot go on anymore. It's doing more harm than good and it makes me cry every time I think about the harm I cause.
I can't do this alone.
Let me know what’s on your mind and what you can do to help yourself grow as a person and to handle conflict better. We need to start somewhere. If not now, then when?