In regards to what I said about Crashies
I would like to start off by apologizing to Crashies for the rude remarks towards his appearance by calling him “scrawny”. The way I went about calling him that is inexcusable. I’m sorry to not only Crashies but to anyone else that I hurt with the insensitive remark towards body image.
After getting off stream, I thought about what I said and what happened more and realized it wasn’t handled in the best way. I really shouldn’t be commenting on people’s looks and I can’t call it a joke when the other person isn’t laughing. Calling myself scrawny isn’t comparable and does not excuse me saying it about another person. Food allergy or not, calling someone scrawny is hurtful regardless of what context is given. You never really know what other people are going through and I'm so sorry for unknowingly adding on to something that was already difficult. I'd never want to be the source of hurting others and I'm going to be more thoughtful of this.
I’ve messaged Crashies privately to apologize as well. No one is obligated to accept my apology, but I hope that I can make the situation better for those that I’ve hurt.
I mentioned that I was thinking about taking a break from streaming. This was a pretty emotional response to the death threats I was receiving today and was not me trying to run away from taking responsibility for what I said. Outside of this incident, I’ve been contemplating whether or not I should continue streaming with my full time student workload. No decisions have been made. Just taking it one day at a time. After tomorrow, I will be taking some time to continue reflecting on this, and spend time with Tyson.
This is definitely a large learning curve for me. For those who watch my streams, you’ll know that I’m extremely passionate about watching the matches. I’m going to do better at drawing the line on what is banter/entertaining compared to overstepping boundaries into something harmful. I know my actions were disappointing today and I’m sorry to not only my audience, but also Crashies’ audience and anyone struggling that I’ve affected with my insensitive comment. Thank you to those who keep me accountable for what I say and do.