Hax$ · @ssbmhax

23rd Jun 2021 from TwitLonger

Apology, self-imposed hiatus, and exoneration from @iBDWSSBM's claims


I’ve decided to end the path of destruction I’m on here and now rather than wait any longer. There are key mistakes I’ve made in the past several weeks that have clearly caused my campaign to backfire, and I’d rather not bury my reputation or my friendships any further. I do need to defend myself from some misconceptions and falsehoods that have been alleged against me, however. I’d appreciate if people who are/were close to me took the time to read this, as despite my recent actions, I’ve been a cornerstone of this community for many years and would like to continue to be one after some time has passed.

I’ll start by explaining why I did all of this in the first place. I’ve had huge concerns with Leffen’s actions toward me, certain friends of mine, and the community at large for many years now. Having testified for, I’ve been able to detect dark motivations in situations that others didn’t seem to be able to, and it got to a point that I couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore. The problem was that rather than presenting my initial case properly, I made the mistake of dramatizing its narrative. This wasn’t appropriate for a video in which I was very serious about the allegations I was coming forward with.

Because of 2’s presentation, the community was led to believe that I had gone insane. I can’t blame them at all for this in retrospect. That being said, I want to assure people that I’m doing completely fine. People like PracticalTAS and Toph have had lengthy conversations with me in which they’ve verified that they were mistaken about me, which they’ve since publicly expressed. I appreciate the friends who took the time to check in on me, and I’m sorry for making you worry about me when there was no need to.

Ultimately, 2 was presented the way it was because I’m highly analytical – perhaps too analytical for my own good. I often over-complicate things (you can see this in any of my other YT videos), and I think that’s what cost me this time around. I maintain that all of 2’s controversial aspects had merit to them, but at the end of the day if I’m coming across as a crazed conspiracy theorist, then that’s a failure on my end. I should have kept to the facts, as the facts were very damning and I could have simply crafted a strong case around them. Because of my presentation, a lot of the facts that came later on in the video were discarded and the case against Leffen became “tainted.”

Rather than waiting until now, I should have bit the bullet immediately and apologized for causing so much confusion. Instead, I chose to be stubborn by continuing to defend myself. I did this because I wanted to believe that I could salvage my case even after I caused as many problems as I did, but clearly I was wrong. I should have recognized this earlier.

The reason I am addressing this apology to the community rather than Leffen is because I believe he has continued to wrong me by refusing to acknowledge my allegations. In the statement Leffen posted on June 12th (, he explicitly stated that my claims weren’t credible despite the fact that they were all heavily corroborated with evidence. For that reason, I hope that people can respect my decision to apologize to the community specifically.

Next, I will address the situation I’ve recently found myself in with iBDW. This situation is different in that there is something I must apologize to him (and ban myself) for. However, I must be clear that the narrative he is currently spinning is dishonest in several ways (some intentional, some unintentional). I maintain that because of the way he’s chosen to handle this, a ban may be in order for him as well. I will explain.

The issue with iBDW arose on June 21st when he tweeted screenshots of me seemingly laughing at a victim testimony he gave and claiming that his testimony was fake ( Under any normal circumstance, these screenshots would automatically have made me a horrible person. However, under the bizarre circumstances that led to these screenshots, I maintain that what I said within them was acceptable, which is why they shouldn’t have been tweeted without context.

The part of iBDW’s story that shouldn’t been left out was the fact that 2 years ago, he willfully and maliciously manipulated me with a false victim testimony in order to try to salvage a decaying friendship. iBDW and I had been good friends between 2017 – 2018, but there were aspects of his personality that I disliked that caused me to gradually distance myself from him. Then, in 2019, he revealed that he had begun dating a girl I had just broken up with almost immediately after the break-up, which basically sealed the deal for our friendship.

Despite our decaying friendship, iBDW and I would end up staying together at Pound 2019. This was when iBDW tried to go for broke by guilt-tripping me with a story in which he embellished key details. The idea here was that by guilt-tripping me, I’d excuse the fact that he’d been treating me poorly for years. I was able to see through the fact that iBDW was manipulating me as he told his story, but I entertained it and sympathized with him nonetheless.

Later down the line, iBDW revealed to me that while his victim testimony was in fact truthful, he had made up the claim that sexual intercourse was performed on him in order to further guilt-trip and manipulate me. iBDW would describe this exact strategy in a TwitLonger he made last year in which he openly confessed that he has manipulated several other people in this manner ( He has also openly referred to himself as an “experienced lying manipulator” (

At this point, I need to urge you to trust me, because we are crossing into dangerous territory where the victim causes massive problems by lying and leveraging their false testimony in order to exploit people. Despite the ways I’ve wronged this community in recent weeks, I’ve been an honest man throughout the entirety of it, as well as the entirety of my career.

All of the claims iBDW has made in regards to the conversation we had at Pound 2019 are either grossly embellished or false. For example, iBDW has alleged that I didn’t initially sympathize with him, and that I made crude comments upon hearing his story. I not only deny these claims, but I also allege the contrary. Upon hearing iBDW’s initial version of the story, I became incredibly sympathetic and fully sided with him. No crude comments were made whatsoever, and furthermore, there was no need for him to go as far as to add the falsified details in order to convince me that he had been victimized in this situation. I have at all times been a law-abiding citizen with a clear set of morals when it comes to sexual misconduct. Therefore, any claim that I did not respond to iBDW’s story at Pound 2019 in the manner that would be expected of me must be fully dismissed. I am hereby alleging that iBDW is lying about more than he has publicly confessed to lying about; in addition to the false sexual intercourse allegation, he has lied about the way he’s leveraged his story in addition to the way listeners such as myself reacted to his story.

After iBDW revealed to me that he had embellished his testimony in such a manner, I must convey that I could never, and probably will never be able to look at him the same way again. Despite iBDW’s victim status, falsifying a sexual intercourse allegation with the willful and malicious intent to guilt-trip a party into forgiving you for your actions is, bar none, the most absurd line of logic I’ve witnessed in my life. This line of logic tainted my view of iBDW forever and caused me to give him the cold shoulder from that point on.

iBDW would continue to make attempts to redeem himself with me, to which I would remain firm. On June 19th, 2020, for example, I hinted that there were things he had done that he didn’t seem to be aware of that caused me to distance myself from him ( I was mostly referring to the way he’d manipulated me. I openly told iBDW that I disliked him within this conversation, as I truly needed to be firm with him at that point.

As time went on, iBDW would begin to exhibit hatred toward me for the way I’d shunned him. He’d regularly make comments on his stream about how I’m a braindead player, an atrocious human being, etc. He would also continue to align closer with Leffen, which probably influenced him. I maintain that I had never done anything to deserve this treatment.

After I released 2, iBDW quickly alleged that I was “clinically insane” and encouraged people to reach out to me ( If iBDW actually cared about me, then he simply would’ve reached out to me himself instead of making this tweet. He later made more tweets that encouraged people to side with Leffen ( While 2 was presented horribly, I maintain that tweets like these were uncalled for, as they caused the public to ignore my allegations.

Throughout all of this, I maintain that I did nothing notably wrong to iBDW, and that he has excessively vilified me and victimized himself ever since the day he made the realization that I was through with him. My frustrations with his behavior culminated on June 21st when a member of my Discord server brought up how wrong it was that iBDW had described me as clinically insane ( That same member then brought up iBDW’s false testimony as to discredit his claim that I’m insane. Having been on the receiving end of iBDW’s false testimony, I was inclined to agree with this person, and so I clarified that the testimony was in fact fake ( This was in reference to the embellished details specifically (meaning I was NOT discrediting iBDW’s victim status). I then made remarks about how manipulative iBDW’s opening statement was, which were justified based on how iBDW has manipulated me in the past. iBDW began his TwitLonger by saying “in the past few years, I’ve lied to [and] manipulated [people],” as if that’s something to be proud about ( I also, admittedly, laughed at the absurdity of the way iBDW had embellished his story ( While I apologize for laughing, I maintain that I had done nothing notably wrong up until this point.

Unfortunately, these statements were sent to iBDW, who quickly took them to Twitter. I immediately DM’d him to beg him to delete his tweet due to the way these statements would be taken out of context ( I underlined the aspect of iBDW’s TwitLonger where he openly confessed to faking the sexual intercourse detail in order to show him that that’s what I was alleging was faked, which it was. iBDW completely denied my request, told me he was “done listening to me,” and went ahead with making his tweets anyway.

The sheer anger and lack of cooperation iBDW exhibited toward me in this moment cannot be classified as reasonable behavior. I am hereby alleging that iBDW took this situation and exhibited the willful and malicious intent to cancel me by going forward with his tweets. As someone who has openly embellished his testimony and used it to manipulate people, iBDW had to have known that my comments about his testimony being “faked” were in reference to the embellished details specifically. He then proceeded to go forward with tweets that created an intentional misrepresentation.

After iBDW made the knee-jerk decision to refuse to speak to me and go ahead with his tweets, he began streaming about me for hours on end. iBDW made an endless list of defamatory comments during his stream and fully rallied people to band against me. At one point, he acknowledged the possibility that I was only alleging that the sexual intercourse detail was faked, then continued to smear campaign me anyway ( This course of action is entirely reckless, absurd, and malicious. iBDW knew that by acting in this manner, he would cause potentially irreversible damage to my reputation and career.

There is one thing I said that was fully uncalled for, reprehensible, and deplorable. I made a crude comment toward iBDW that I regret and apologize for, as it wasn’t acceptable under any circumstance ( However, I would like to clarify the circumstances that led to this terrible comment:

-This comment is, once again, aimed specifically at the fact that iBDW falsified key details within his testimony. I was in no capacity discrediting iBDW’s testimony as a whole with this comment.

-iBDW has been subjecting me to extreme character defamation for a very long time now, in addition to treating me poorly and manipulating me during our friendship.

-iBDW’s tweets that framed me as “clinically insane” were very offensive to me, and contributed to the fact that my allegations against Leffen have largely been dismissed.

-I did not initiate the conversation about iBDW. Another member of my Discord did, and I took the bait.

Based on the above circumstances, I believe that my comment shouldn’t be viewed as an accurate depiction of my character. With that being said, it is still an unacceptable comment and I will be reflecting deeply on my decision to publicly state it. I maintain that I should not have made this comment, and I am sorry to iBDW for doing so.


In terms of what all of this means, I’d like to reiterate that I am sorry for initiating this entire mess with 2’s poor presentation. I realized that I had ravaged the entire timeline the moment I botched the presentation on that video, and I’m going to regret it forever. Between my negligence and the crude comment I made toward iBDW, I am personally advocating for a 3-month ban / hiatus on myself. I can assure everyone that despite my mistakes, I’ve meant well throughout this entire process, and that I mainly failed to deliver. I’d appreciate if my past contributions to the community could be remembered during this pivotal juncture in my career. I’d also appreciate if any of the friends who have turned on me (especially in response to the most recent set of allegations) would take the time to talk things out with me and rekindle things. It would mean a lot.

As for the other parties involved, there are some closing thoughts I need to give. iBDW’s handling of our situation wasn’t acceptable, and despite my lack of leverage at this current moment I believe that a ban needs to be imposed here. I am appalled by Cody's decision to ignore my request to speak in private and go forward with his course of action, which was blatantly intended to make me out to be a menace via a lack of context. Given his history of malicious intent toward me, I can safely allege that this was an opportunistic attempt to finish me for good.

As for Leffen, he lucked out as usual. If 2 had been presented properly, then this could’ve turned out completely differently. Despite my failures, I know that my actions still managed to have a somewhat positive impact, so I’ll have to settle for that.

Again, I’m sorry for making the mistakes that I listed. I’m undeniably guilty of misconduct in certain areas, and I plan to learn from these mistakes. I wrote this piece in order to clarify what my intentions were and where I faltered, as there seems to be a lot of ambiguity surrounding both of those things. I am hopeful that I can be trialed and punished fairly and that the chaos I’ve caused can settle down.

Thanks for reading.


Reply · Report Post