ā°justin. · @Its_JSTN
6th May 2021 from TwitLonger
mentality.
So let me start this off by saying no, I am not retiring. I will still be competing in Majors and the NA Championship. The only thing I won't be competing in is the Intel World Open. Just the thought of playing something that doesn't involve a LAN kind of ruins it for me, especially after playing a year of RLCS X and qualifying for worlds just for it to be canceled. The reason for this is because I have been dealing with a lot of demotivation and just have been depressed, and my mentality is nowhere near as good as it used to be. Main reason being, no LANs. I miss going to LANs with my team and close friends in the Esport and, of course, my family. I miss taking pictures with fans and signing a bunch of stuff for fans around the world. Since COVID started, I've had the worst diet, the worst sleep schedule, and I would sometimes go months without seeing the sun and still do to this day. Not going outside for months messes with you.
A prime example of this is my RLCS face cam. The reason why I always look dead whenever we score or even, in general, is that deep down, it's just been difficult for something to make me happy. Nothing makes me happy as of right now. I feel like I always have to act like fake happy if that makes sense, and I honestly hate doing that. I don't really want to rant about my entire life issues, but after the Championship, I will most likely be taking a short break from Rocket League, and no, I am not stepping down from NRG; I will continue competing and trying my hardest with Garrett and Squishy. I just really need some time off, and this summer break is the best time for me to reset my mental and hopefully come back stronger and return to my old happy self before the next season starts. Anyways thanks for reading if you made it this far. <3