Leaving the match before it ended //
0-2 vs Cloud9
I would never normally write or respond to something after a loss but its been bugging me the entire time since it happened and I need to clear my mind. Firstly I want to start by saying yes I did leave the server before the game ended and my PC didn't crash, I really thought that was obvious by my tweet and didn't intend to hide from my actions. Secondly I do not want to set an exmaple towards the people who follow&support me to think that it's okay because it isn't, no professional player in any settings of any sport should ever act this way. BUT these things happen and have done even at the highest level of sports, I won't say the cliche phrase 'everyone makes mistakes' because I've clearly made much more mistakes than the average human during my CS career and I get that but please don't take this act as disrespect towards my team mates or the opponent. That is not/will not ever be my intention when playing CSGO under any organisation at any level.
For me if you want to keep the hate coming and say the typical 'he will never change', 'he's clearly still toxic' and the various other things I've seen people type then please do, I can't stop you doing so. But please know that I am really working on all things to do with becoming a better person aswell as professional. That's all I can do and I will continue to do so while trying to maintain the mistakes/f***ups to a minimum, ofcourse I'm not immune to bad judgement during situations but it sometimes feels like because of my past I get judged much harder on my actions. Which I totally understand and can take on the chin as it was me who made the 100 mistakes prior but as I said earlier and many time I am not the same 18 year old kid who was trash talking everyone for no reason. Sorry for every single person who follows/supports me. I'm only writing this to attempt to show you that I actually give a dam about what people think about me and how I want to change that.
For me I feel much better even just writing this and hope everyone can understand my POV, you are entitled to still hate me for being a horrible person or a jackass that's fine. But please know that isn't my plan nor will it ever be.
Probably horrible english but yeah, that's what has been on mind. .-.