Ink · @InkscapeXD
10th Feb 2021 from TwitLonger
What it's like having ADHD
These are just some things that give insight on how much of a hell it is having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
we stutter a lot but it's not like “I-I c-c-can't” it's more like “and then I was like, there and then- and then I came and like... and like... you know, then it was like...”
losing stuff all the time. i cannot emphasize this enough. one minute it's there and the other one it's not
if it's not in sight, it doesn't exist. you want your pen? put it somewhere you can't see it immediately? say goodbye
we get distracted a lot (squirrel), like if someone's not on their meds and they're talking to someone, if anything small happens it will draw their attention (eg. a dog walking on the street, a sound, a sudden change in environment, someone entering the room etc.). this can happen repeatedly in a span of minutes
if you don't use meds (or didn't take them) or you're hyperfixated on something there's 90% chance you'll ‘forget’ to eat, drink, sleep, or pee. I'm saying ‘forget’ because we're not actually forgetting, it's just our brain is too occupied to care (and is a little bitch about it later)
we forget stuff all the time. write it down you say? forgot where I've written it. set a reminder you say? forgets to set it
d a y d r e a m i n g
yes you can write stimming, no it is not embarrassing at all (and i will fight you if you say it is)
there are different types of stimming: eg. flappy hands when happy or excited
f i d g e t i n g
if I'm not bouncing my leg, I'm clicking my cube, if not clicking my cube then I'm messing with something on the table, If I'm not doing that I'm probably spinning my pen in my fingers, and if I'm not I'm probably tapping my fingers on the table
absolutely zero time perception. like for me, in a span of minutes, three hours can pass. i look at my watch – it's 10am, I look five minutes later, nope – 7pm
this is a weird one but we notice a lot of details — however — only if they're interesting enough to catch our attention
can't sleep. brain full.
can't sleep. brain won't shut the fuck up.
can't sleep. leg bouncy, scratchy, itchy, hands twitching, bzzzbzzzbzzzbzzz
coffee/energy drinks/caffiene makes us asleep, not more awake
i still wanna know what a caffeine high feels like
we feel things 100x stronger, and I'm not talking like *ohhh ohoho we feel love stronger!!* like no. we feel guilt, shame, pain, fatigue, anger more stronger. This is the biggest issue. You beat yourself up internally a lot. This is why ADHD kids are labeled the troubled ones.
In my experience, we cry easily. i don't really like to admit it but yeah, something small can make me cry easily.
h y p e r s e n s i t i v i t y
i mentioned earlier, and I'm sure some people do this too, i wear headphones 99% percent of the time. if i can't wear headphones i wear soundproof earphones. we're more sensitive to: light, sound, texture, smell, taste
I'm the most sensitive to sounds, especially loud sounds, people talking, dogs barking, high frequency sounds (E.G. wireless phone charger/static)
brain has two mods: *empty* and bapbapbapabapbapbapbap
no we're not having a meltdown 24/7
same goes for autistic pals *sending love to them*
sorry what did you say? sorry what did you say? sorry can you repeat? sorry can you-
auditory processing problems – either auditory sensory overload or *can't hear*
hyperfixations are not *i really like this thing!*
they're: *oh god i worked on this for 17 hours when did i eat again?*
we either show emotions all the time or don't show them at all, this depends on person themselves
problems with understanding jokes
↑ at the same time having the best and weirdest sense of humor between ourselves
overall it's like a ball of energy inside of you wanting to get out immediately
the most important:
mentally ill and neurodivergent people can and will love you with their whole heart.
If unable to move or forcing oneself to not, it is easy to become frustrated or angry. Like please just let me mOVE
Don't often realize you're moving until you are slowed for some reason it someone tells you to stop/points it out
Lists... Bad... (Which is why these are spread apart! Makes it easier to read!)
If you Think something and want to Say it, you will or you will absolutely SUFFER trying not to say it.
Same song on loop for long periods of time, like sometimes HOURS at a time
Quickly moving scenes are attention grabbing- I will often stare out the window pretty much the entire time I'm on a multi-hour road trip (if I'm in the passenger seat or something)
(in my experience) Talking out loud can help you understand your own thoughts since there is so much happening all at once,
but at the same time, its also very easy to get sidetracked and railroaded
You have to STOP yourself from going on a tangent about something, and keep stopping yourself since it's still there and wants to be discussed
Memory bad since it's overloaded all the time with So Many Thoughts all at once
Extremely observant, but only when you actually Care about what you're looking at/for
If you don't actively want to work on something, you either need to force yourself or you'll never do it ever
Deadlines are a big motivator, but can just as easily be a demotivator. Depends on the person and project.
IDK if this is everyone, but in my experience, your opinions on people don't change if you haven't seen them in months. People grow and change but it was like yesterday for you that you last saw them
Also time is an illusion. It does what it wants.
"Okay, I need to make time to get this paper done. Its due in two days. I need to take an hour to shower and eat breakfast, plus an hour to goof off before I do anything else, plus lunch and dinner. That's most of today and tomorrow. Then I have a meeting with friends and that'll take forever and ohGOD I HAVE NO TIME LEFT-"
*gets said paper done in 2 hours tops*
You cannot just drop what you're doing. You will be the last one out if class because you have to milk every second of the day to get as much done as possible
bad handwriting. brain goes faster than the hand. where does this letter go again? oh nevermind there's three o's in hooome. fuck
you watched that video without doodling or humming? no you didn't
weird sitting. this is for everyone. inattentive, hyperactive, any type – we all sit weird
-this is why i sit with my legs crossed/pretzely
why do you know all of this about space?
me, hyperfixated on space for 10 years now: umm, uhh, ... it's .... interesting?
mistakes make us physically sick. that's the first and main reason why depression is so common with adhd. any negative thing, any failure – it comes to us very physically
which is why we HIDE OUR EMOTIONS.
yes you can pass out if you hyperfixate on something hard enough (from my own experience)
the reward system does not work. ever.
the brain is too big of an asshole. always.
✨ m o o d s w i n g s ✨
mood changes three (3) times in a matter of 10 seconds it goes angry, sad, happy papappapapapapa
yes also verbal stims: beep! bop! bopbopbopbop! ratatatatata! wooooo! weee! eeeeeeeeeee!
forgetting how a word is spelled
forgetting the meaning of the word (10 minutes ago i had to google what does ‘same’ mean, not even joking)
phrases getting stuck on your mind like a song (eg. phrase ‘and then there were none’ was stuck on my mind because i saw it somewhere, i tried to read it two times because the first time I wasn't sure it was correct and there – it's on my mind forever
no eye contact. ever. it makes me nervous and extremely uncomfortable like I'd rather pass away than look you in the eye while we're talking
there are two types: can remember your face so good i can draw you perfectly but can't remember your name to save a life — and — can remember your name, surname and middle name after 10 years but can't remember your face 10 minutes after i saw you (me)
no i can't read that 20 words paragraph, yes i can read a 500 words book in one sitting (5 hours)