Thoughts, feelings & FA Update
After 5 years of playing league of legends at the highest level I've been unable to find a mid lane spot in LCS/LEC for 2021 which I can only blame myself for.
Looking back at the start I have been a competitor with a lack of gratitude towards what I've been able to love for many years now, I have been a bad teammate at times, also a great one, just like everyone has their up's and down's
As of today I'll gladly tell you that I'm very grateful I went through those struggles and love continue to do so, it's a big part of why I consider myself and others great competitors.
Dealing with losses has always been the hardest thing for me to swallow, even before I joined FNATIC in 2015 and won 80% of games we played during the year, I was very often still bitter and I'm sure my teammates can remember those times.. however when we lost to KOO Tigers in the semi finals I was the only one able to smile meanwhile all my teammates were crying.
However I did not understand the struggle and till this day I don't judge myself for it, I've been growing up with my family which raised me in a way where there were very little problems, so I could always do what I wanted in a way and naturally I took things for granted
The last few days I've struggled a lot with accepting the fact I won't be playing in LEC/LCS anymore, but I realised it's apart of my journey and was ment to happen at some point,
Most importantly I've realised not everyone is ment for eachother that's completely fine. I shouldn't be forcing things that don't feel right naturally.
Giving up right now would be the worst thing that I could do to myself since I have build up all this experience that I should use going forward personally and most importantly share with the people I'll be working with in the future.
I've also realised that the hardest part about being a pro player for me is not the actual skill that I built up, that came natural, it's the MINDSET and ENERGY that I bring in on a daily bases to be pushing myself and my teammates to get the results that I want to achieve, which also differentiates from everybody.
I believe this is the perfect opportunity to work myself back up in the academy league to prove myself that I belong to compete at the highest level with and I have it in me to win championships again.
I wanna say thank you to all the teams that have given me the chance to work with them and also all the teams that have considered having me onboard.
Also want to give huge credit to Riot for taking care of me and my teammates in a incredible way especially during all my time and especially during the COVID times.
Lastly I wanna give a shoutout family,friends and all the fans who have believed in me since the beginning and continue to do, It means very much to me.
I'm generally very excited and happy to continue my story from here