Hey everyone. I’m Anonite, formerly known as dischu. “dischu” is my old online alias. Alternatively, “Anonite” is the alias I’ve been hiding under this past year. I abandoned “dischu” and its associated accounts because I made some pretty bad life decisions that I kept trying to get away from. Today, I’ve decided that I’m going to explain why I ditched the old name, and from here on out I will no longer be using Anonite or dischu. By the end of this document, you’ll hopefully realize why I’m abandoning everything for good.
dischu first surfaced onto the internet in 2016-2017, and I was 14 years old at that time. I had posted mods of “Super Smash Bros. for Wii U” onto a website called GameBanana. I had been a part of this community, making friends and helping with projects, and it was great for what it was. However, I got tied up in some awful business. One of the first mod projects I was recruited onto was a mod dubbed “Project Stardust” and there were a lot of people a part of this team. I can’t remember everyone now, except for one user named FaptainCalcon. We had clicked well enough throughout development or whatever antics the Discord server was up to, but one night I had lied to him about my age and we both decided to start erotic roleplay and treated it practically like a real relationship. I knew exactly what we had going on and I was crazy for it despite being far from legal. I grew too crazy wanting nothing but that kind of attention from him, but he went inactive at some later point leaving me with nothing. As a result of this, I grew extremely lustful on Discord and within the Smash modding community. I would constantly lie about my age and try to initiate roleplay sex or virtual relationships with about anyone in the community I wanted something with. Throughout my own thoughts I dubbed myself “underage virtual subhuman whore”. But of course, this phase of Smash brothers modding passed and I had stopped interacting with this community and making mods since 2017.
Sadly, dischu’s got some more weight to his name than just that. After falling out of Smash modding circles I really got into Sonic. This must have been 2017-2018 and I was 15 years old. I made remixes using soundfonts to post onto YouTube and was extremely passionate about the franchise. I would always watch videos, listen to music, discover communities, etc. One Discord community I found myself at what was dubbed Sonic Fan Games HQ (SFGHQ). The server was huge, very organized, great place for Sonic fans. At the time of me being at the server, its VC was practically always full of a good handful of people and the server also had an NSFW channel. However, this channel was locked for people in the server under the age of 18. I would often join the voice chat and try to follow along with discussions, trying to make friends and fit into a community once more. A few times before I would jokingly say in the voice chat that I’m a younger age than what I really was too, in relation to the NSFW channel, but that was never taken too far for until one late night VC. There was a call going with 4-5 other people and myself. I recall not too many people but one of the server mods was there. The call was mostly relaxed until one guy started talking about posting his own nudes in the server’s NSFW channel. I don’t know what I was thinking (probably wasn’t thinking at all) but in that instance I decided to DM this random guy and ask if he could send said picture to me. This guy then started exclaiming about said DMs in the server’s voice chat, in which the server moderator had stated, “Tell me this guy’s name so I can ban the fuck out of him because that is not okay,”. I had immediately left the server as soon as I heard that from the call, visibly nervous while neglecting myself for the rest of the night. This has always stuck with me as something dischu would always be accountable for, no matter what.
There are way more than a few inbetween all these situations. Dating people online several years older than me, sending nudes and acting way too lustful for my own good, at one point even lying about my gender to get on relationships. It’s passed now, but it’s all stuck with me. I would always be waiting for someone anyone to say anything about all this and just stop me in my tracks. I have dreams and ambitions as a creator but this has to come first, every minute I was left alone to do as I pleased as “dischu” I felt such an extreme level of guilt. With the internet being a place where weirdos, creeps, pedophiles, racists, all the like are exposed and deplatformed on the regular I was just waiting for someone to rightfully give me this treatment. It all felt like too much, I wanted to just get away from it, and so from September 2018 I devised a plan to follow for the next year.
I set up accounts dubbed “Anonite” in September 2018 and began working my musical capabilities and submitted to SiIvaGunner. I had sent in rips via email over a few months to try to make their team, since this YouTube channel was exactly what I had needed. I didn’t understand much about the channel, and I still don’t, I just needed something big to give weight to a fresh new alias. Anonite’s accounts were made well in advance of me actually receiving an email back from SiIvaGunner with an invite to their team Discord. Of course, I thought and planned that all out since I only had this one shot to do this right and get away from my past.
I officially joined the SiIvaGunner team in June 2019. From there I spent the next several months putting restless hours into the channel. I helped with what is now known as the Boss Battle Fusion Collab, and then several arranges for King For Another Day, and then the Halloween 2019 event and then even more King For Another Day; I was basically working as hard as I could to ensure that I’d get myself as far from “dischu” as possible. However, I realize now that I made a very big mistake.
During my time at SiIvaGunner, I had made good friends with an individual known as TUWieZ. Any SiIvaGunner team member should know who this person is, and the type of racism, homophobia, transphobia, general discriminatory behavior he’s known for. I had ended up making friends with him before he was formally removed from the team September 2019. His humor had really clicked with me, and I continued to talk with him despite all the word surrounding him in SiIvaGunner. I had even befriended him enough to want to bring him into one of my personal friend servers at some point, which ended up causing some big trouble. I wish I had thought more about this before sitting in a voice chat and laughing along with him. Netyasha Roozi, if you or your girlfriend are reading this, I’m sorry to have put you guys off by inviting him. It wasn’t worth the trouble, I was just so fixated on what TUWieZ had told me about his history with the channel and how derogatory he’s always willing to be. I shouldn’t speak in past tense, that same type of humor still amuses me no matter how much I try to deny it. It’s a quality people aren’t supposed to have, but I’ve been through SiIvaGunner full of these thoughts. I believe even directly poking the bear sometimes, as if TUWieZ showing up in that server wasn’t enough to begin with.
As it currently stands, I’ve completely left SiIvaGunner’s team since late June 2020. After I left, I heard some things said about me behind my back that have every reason to be said what with my associations with TUWieZ and my own personal beliefs. I’ve never shyed away from racism or transphobia, it’s amused me for endless hours in the past. I now come to hate myself for it, but as the internet has shown time and time again words simply aren’t enough.
In conclusion, I’ve done a lot of online sexual behavior as a minor lying about my age. I’ve been racist/transphobic/derogatory while partnered with a literal nazi. Instead of waiting for someone to call me out on my faults I’m just going to finish this myself. I will have abandoned “Anonite” and “dischu” following this document. If I’ve ever acted lustful towards you or tried to engage in some erp with you in the past, I’m deeply sorry for it. If I’ve ever offended you in any way, I have only the deepest apologies. Ultimately, actions are louder than words, and so I’ll be done here. Perhaps if someone in the future stumbles across this post, this will let you know to stay clear and if anything learn from my mistakes. If I had a time machine I would go back and stop myself from doing so much, since there’s no hope or shot at redemption left here now.
To all the friends I’ve made;
If you knew me as dischu, sorry for abandoning you with no word. If you knew me as Anonite, thanks for giving me a shot and being my friend. Chances are we haven’t spoken in months, but thanks for bothering to speak/work with me. If you knew me as both, I’m so sorry for confusing you with different accounts and different names and always refusing to talk about this stuff. Thank you so much for choosing to be my friend, the past 4 years of my life have been filled with so many good memories thanks to all you.
To [Otrebot, Xeron, Doom Man]
This gonna be the final time I’ve done this account thing now. Sorry so much for confusing you guys with all the names and accounts and never saying anything about it really you guys haven’t been the only ones by now. but you guys are great to be around in voice chat. If playing shovel knight wasnt worth it, it was absolutely worth it to meet you guys and be a part of your friend circle. Sorry to put you guys through Dischu then Styx, Tawn, back to Dischu, and now Anonite. you guys always knew me as dischu anyways and that’s perfectly fine. Im just glad to have been around you people. I never mentioned this, while i was working so hard on SiIvaGunner there were so many nights where i just broke down. I really missed having things easier mindlessly on discord just spending time with my good friends. but i stayed with my gut because I knew if it all went well Id be able to come and spend time with you all again later. December was the roughest month doing work on the channel, to finally have sat down and hear and talk with you 3 again later that same month felt so amazing, I was really happy. thanks so much for everything. Im so sorry things are ending like this
I’ll never know why you stood by me and wanted to be friends. but thanks so much. For all the awkward talks and fun voice chats that really made me feel better. Thank you so much especially for having me apart of your friend group. That server is such a blast. Im sorry i left it but really it made me feel so much better about myself and smash modding. If you’re reading this and you’re part of said circle, im giving thanks here to you as well (yes you too TUWieZ) its great having been there around you all
I love you so much thank you so much for putting up with all my bullshit, Ive never had a better friend, Im so sorry things turned out this way. Please dont ever give up on yourself, Im always believing in you even if you’re not. Thanks for just everything this past year its gonna hurt not talking with you anymore, Im so grateful to have known you and i wish i could just say this paragraph over and over just for you
Here’s one last thing. If you’re reading this, and you care for me, I have one request:
Even though I won’t be around after this post, just promise you won’t forget about me. Being forgotten doesn’t feel good, so I’d be happy to know my friends and the people who care about me can remember the fun we had together.