I am ready...

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...to tell you the story of my career so far.

Nearing the end of this year I find myself reflecting on my path so far and
I want to share the insight regarding my development as a player, a person as well as a teammate since the beginning of my professional career in CS:GO


2015-2016 OnlineBOTS, Publiclir.se

This time period was mostly about finding out how fun CS and esports can be, this introverted kid finally found something in his life which he is truly becoming passionate about and where his ever growing ambition lies in.
I had a lot of fun with my teammates back then, my first few times travelling anywhere at all outside of Estonia. Felt it first-hand how it is to genuinely feel confident in my own abilities.
At this point I didn't really have anyone around me to learn from and the way I developed was just playing for fun in the start which left me with bad habits and not really knowing what areas to improve in or even HOW to improve.

2017 PENTA

The miracle stint that lasted 6-7 months. When I reminisce about this lineup, I think that the way we immediately clicked together is something very rare.
That lineups atmosphere, combined work ethic and winners mentality is something I wish to replicate and bring to any future projects. We did something that you don't see from lineups that are brought up from complete zero,
the Krakow major run is something important to me. How jealous I was of the teams/players that got to play on the stage of this tournament, it gives me goosebumps even imagining myself being there, in the middle of the arena with the crowd in a circle around you creating soundwaves which im sure you could feel through the soundproof headset.
This is what its really about, it gave me new goals to strive for.

In this team I was able to shine, not because I was a great player, but because sunNy and kRYSTAL quickly realised how to unlock some of my potential and made it very easy for me to play, I was just part of the system being created.
I learned a lot about the basics of CS, especially from sunNy, more specifically it was about becoming stronger in the roles and positions which were given to me aswell as how to pressure the opponents. I wonder if we had reached our limit with this lineup or not.

OpTic
At this point it was up to me, to improve even more and become a player worthy of playing in the tier 1 level. I was lucky enough to get the chance in OpTic, in a hastily put together European lineup.
I had come into this project kind of expecting it to be a replicate of PENTA, that everything will just work out and we click immediately, not thinking that its work in progress.
Quite fast that expectation was crushed by being in the same group with some of the bigger names of the CS scene and (with lack of a better word) feeling a condescending vibe. Different cultures and ways of thinking just created an atmosphere where I was dedicated to the game, but not to the team.
I lost my professionalism, instead of being a team we were very individual or groups of two.

From this experience I learned that in order to stay at the top of the food chain I would need a strong mindset. No matter the differences you might have, you are supposed to be a professional athlete and have to figure out a way to be the best version of yourself always, for your own sake and for the teams sake.
In addition - after playing with these players my communication improved a lot, I believe mostly thanks to friberg and some of his tips on how to improve in that aspect, but overall everyone there was good at communicating, being vocal and it stuck with me.

2018 Tempo Storm

The decision to decline some of the offers I received was the worst thing I could do in hindsight, especially the option of going over to NA with Renegades. Instead I decided to take the option where I would try to build my own roster.
This decision turned out to be far from ideal, it was hard to put together a strong lineup, and somehow I ended up in the IGL role... but okay, lets do our best and ill somehow help the team become good with the help of the coach (dracu).
It turns out that dracu, who was brought in by the Spaniards had a VAC banned account which means that we lost our coach who was a very important factor for us to improve. Later in that year there was a rebuild with ayken, cromen, rubino, innocent and myself as the planned lineup.
I feel like this lineup could have actually become a solid team, but now the problem was that players dont really stick around when the organisation doesnt pay out an actual salary that they promised, so we split up even though we had spent a lot of time practicing.

This year felt like it was wasted away, sure I learned a bit about different roles and I also had a good mentality throughout the entire year, even though it was a weird situation to be in.

2019 GamerLegion

It took some time to put together, but next up was GL. A team consisting of nawwk, hampus, Ex6TenZ, ScreaM and myself. I was back in the roles which come more naturally to me (entry fragger and anchor), individually I was at times much sharper than ever before, but overly aggressive.
We had decent results in this team, we jumped up to rank 20 I believe. Again, something difficult to accomplish with a newly established team. Managed to beat FURIA on lan, and had wins against other tier 1 teams like Vitality, ENCE at the time.

It was the first time I played under a real leader, but I didnt see the value of it clearly. Me and the team didnt appreciate what a hard working, dedicated person, leader and player like Ex6TenZ brings to a team composition and how crucial someone like this is in order to succeed.
The removal of Ex6TenZ was a mistake, without a doubt. From there on it was bound to fail, there was no leader, majority swedish and some internal clashes getting in the way.

Ironically to top it off the year ends with me being left unable to walk for almost half a year, after an accident.

This year I learned that my individual skill had gone to new heights. I now deeply understand the importance of a proper team composition and how valuable playing under a real leader is while also giving the team time to develop.

2020 Nordavind

This year felt like a copy of 2018 Tempo Storm - couldnt build the roster we originally wanted, rubino was injured and stepped away from the lineup which meant that the roles were messed up again, we are missing crucial pieces. I end up taking on too many responsibilities and try my best at IGLing a dysfunctional lineup.
Frustrations keep building, mentality and attitude within the team keeps growing worse and by the end I become part of the problem and stop providing the best version of myself.
Individually I became even sharper, once more. My work ethic is through the roof and I learned the importance of having a routine, watching demos all day and night, going on the server to create new things, learning all these new positions/roles, the tactical aspect, seeing the bigger picture clearly.

This year I became innovative in the game, learned how to improve myself and the team more than ever, physical training is helping me to have confidence and extended periods of deep focus. I now feel able to 100% focus every match, practice, deathmatch or theory session I go through.


2021
CS is my life. I am prepared. I am ready to see that my dreams come true. My only goal is to become the best with my team, nothing else matters.

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