Taking a break

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i tweeted about this the other day but delete it because i felt it was too personal and depressing for the TL but ive made my final descion And here it is: As of recent , (the last 2 ish months ) my mental health has been really bad. I stopped taking my anti depressants earlier this year because i was starting to get addicted to them instead of taking them for the better of my health. Last month one of my friends took their lives and it hit me really hard and i never really knew how to take it.I have started to underperform in school and miss a lot of assignments in my college classes and i can’t afford to let my mom down who is paying completely for my education. All the way up to the release of beta i was excited to grind valorant it was a new game that looked promising from a promising company. I played the ever living shit out of this game to try to become the best I could and for a long time it was my escape from reality and it helped me with that for a really long time. With the release of ranked i was playing over 12-15 hours a day just grinding but overtime after about 250 games played i started to lose enjoyment , I just kept playing because i had nothing better to do with my life. Yes i had fun but i haven’t been truly been happy in so long and i feel like this isn’t what I was made to do in life , i understand there is potentjonal but i simply don’t enjoy it and my mental state isn’t where it should be. After a series of unfortunate events recently and things just not going my way i am just going to take it as a sign this isn’t for me. I am going to be taking a break to focus on my college classes, improving at skating , and working on myself. I’m not really sure if / when I’ll return but i will keep you guys updated on here. I feel really bad for leaving my teammates and wish them the best of luck and will always be supporting and cheering them on from the sidelines no matter how far they go or what teams they join. I wish everyone the best of luck and everyone be nice to someone , compliment someone or ask them how they are doing , it can really change or save a life.

Shoutout to all my boys who have been there for me since day one

kenith
Jack
Enigma
Brush
Camden (s)
Joseph
And my teammate harmful that our friendship extended all from a random solo q game at 3 am in beta


TLDR
I appreciate all the support i got and all the friends i have made but i really think it is best for me to take a break and focus on myself And mental health before I end up wasting my life on something I no longer enjoy but only use as an escape.

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