Mikeray · @PPGmikeray4
17th Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
My Statement Regarding Kiwi, Bizkit, & Sails
Anyone who has taken the 10 minutes to know me, knows that the statements made by Kiwi, Bizkit and Sails are not truly what happened and are an extreme bias of viewpoints of events that happened somewhere between 7-10 years ago.
Anyone who has gotten to know me knows that I have tough exterior, I’m brash and hard-headed. But deep down, when push comes to shove, I am compassionate person that always tries to do the right thing.
It’s taken me a while to write this response as I wanted to make sure that my viewpoint was clear and from a good headspace as working as an essential employee these past few months have been quite stressful and I wanted to be calm and collected.
Honestly only one person truly deserves a statement from me…..
But lets get through the claims first:
Kiwi & Bizkit – What you both said was both hurtful and abhorrent. The fact that you both dredged up the past events of friendships that clearly had fallen out over roughly a decade ago just so you can deflect from the fact that you could be “cancelled” next was a low blow. For that I have to say, “well played”. I really liked the way that you both used your sizeable fan bases to attack me and have them harass me so that you can play the victim, it really was rather brilliant. You both managed to turn the conversations of a lonely awkward teenager (because I wasn’t older than 19 in 2010, Kiwi) who didn’t have the social skills to make friends and portrayed those conversations as a predatory 20 something year old man.
However, you both know that what you said was not based in truth and I can only really prove that by saying that your actions don’t match your statement. Kiwi you said that I was creepy and obsessed with you. You basically stated that you did not feel safe around me. Tell me, if that was truly the case, why did you keep going to tournaments that I was at from 2010-2013? During that time period I could only go to 1 tournament every month (at most) so why pick the same one I am at? Why did you keep showing up in 2019 to the ultimate weeklies if I was such a monster to you? The reason clearly is because you didn’t feel threatened or scared, you honestly never felt that strongly about me one way or another. You just didn’t want me to keep confirming people’s questions about when you and Bizkit started dating, so silencing me was your best play.
You brought up Alex Strife again and how I didn’t listen. Honestly with the hindsight of 20-20 sure, maybe I should have seen the signs, but so should have everyone else and they didn’t so why point me out as the villain? Also, if I was so “creepy” and “predatory” why didn’t you bring me up in the Alex Strife blog when you first released it? Probably because you didn’t think I was that monster that you claim I am now. Finally, I would also like to address “the phone calls” you keep bringing up. Kiwi, in none of those phone calls was I ever hitting on you and I’m sorry if you thought I was. If I ever “sang” to you, it was because the song was on the radio and I was singing along to it. I’m an awkward person who did things like that and still does things like that. I was NOT serenading you like you wanted people to think.
Now Bizkit, I could dredge up a lot of past things that you did 10 years ago. But why? What good is it? It was 10 years ago and I hope you matured in that time.
I would like to say this though, me and you were friends…well I thought we were, we used to play smash all the time, we teamed on the AiB ladder, we teamed at tournaments, we went to see movies together with hinkage and others. But now your saying that I was abusive this whole time. I’d like to say that once again, your statements don’t match your actions. If I was that bad and horrible why did you even give me the time of day? You say no one around you played smash but that isn’t true at all. Lots of people lived within driving range of us such as Patg, Rach, SpiderJ, and Sails to name a few. The reason why we really fell apart was simple, you at 23 went to the movies with Kiwi and Artemis (both 14-year-old girls). I had originally said to you “I don’t think you’re trying to get with them but its just not a good look, you should invite a whole group of people out, so it doesn’t make you look bad”. You then basically told me to mind my own business. Then 2 years after that when she turned 16 it comes out that you and Kiwi are dating. Honestly, at the time I was pissed that you lied to me about you and her, but I thought we moved past that when we patched things up later during that year. You used to invite me on your twitch during 2012 and 2013. We also used to play cards against humanity online as well with J12345 from your twitch chat. Funny how you deleted the vids that I was in so you could keep up the narrative that I harassed you nonstop. Just for your recollection of the past you must have forgot, here are some tournament threads during this time period, look how “abusive” everyone thought I was.
Mass Madness 5 - 4/7/2013 http://archive.vn/JqeQv
Dimensions 3 - 4/14/2012 http://archive.is/mCaoS
DNA 18# - 7/16/2011 http://archive.is/AUHue
Hall of Gaming - 3/10/2012 http://archive.is/JwXa2
Mega Mass Madness 3 12/16/2012 http://archive.is/sYQNz
I get that you guys did this because you don’t like me or maybe you guys just got caught up in the moment. But really? Slander? You guys should be better than that. I’ve really lost all respect for both of you, but that doesn’t really matter since apparently neither of you have any for me.
Sails – I’m really sorry you still think I ruined your relationship. I hope at some point you can get closure and realize that you and Christina were not right for one another. You and I were friends at one point, and yes, we probably gossiped about other players in the scene as all people do, but I did not manipulate you. We had a falling out because of the situational love triangle I was in during 2012. The only reason you brought any of this up is because you’ve held a grudge against me since you and Christina broke up in 2013. You have always blamed me for the reason you two broke up, but you refuse to accept that I was only a symptom not the cause of the breakup.
I did not “steal” Christina away from you. She and I got along back then, and even now I would still consider us friends as we’ve talked in the past year. We have also hung out a couple times in 2018.
In 2013 she wanted to break up with you and you refused to let her break up with you. The night she told you she wanted to break up with you, me and her hung out so she could find the words to tell you that it was over. This is the message I got after she told you it was over: https://imgur.com/a/WCP02mF
You apparently accused her and I of sleeping together, which we didn’t. Nothing happened. She told me she liked me more than a friend and that was it.
To prove I didn’t “manipulate her into liking me” just to hurt you, here are some conversations of me and Christina hanging out in back in 2013/2014 (After you and she broke up):
https://imgur.com/a/WCP02mF
https://imgur.com/a/WCP02mF
https://imgur.com/a/WCP02mF
Her and I have continued to be nice to each other and it was nice to see her a couple of years ago when she hit me up out of the blue of a picture of her and Fatal at a bar in Boston, both asking for me to come up and see her. (Yes, I know that it may shock many that even me and Fatal have grown up and buried that hatchet, we’re adults and these events are ancient history). I hate to break your image of me, but I’m not the monster you choose to remember me as. I don’t even really owe you any statement, but I figured you needed a little perspective of the past, since you clearly forgot it.
NESU Community Leaders and TOs – I would like to include this group in this statement. As of right now you have decided a to have a recommended permanent ban on me. You have stated to me that you did not even read my original statement claiming that the things Kiwi and Bizkit said were false. You just took Kiwi’s, Bizkit’s, and Sails’ slanderous statements as fact and enacted a judgement upon me. You would not even give me the decency of the list of names of people who are in this group. For all I know, Kiwi, Bizkit and Sails (or their sympathizers) are in this group. I really hope this group is truly fair and impartial, because if not anyone can make a claim against someone else and deem it as truth.
Nicole – You are truly the only person in this that deserves any kind of statement from me and I wish it wasn’t like this. I’ve sent most of this in a letter that you probably never got so I’m going to have to say it this way. I understand most people hate the whole "both sides are to be blamed" but you and I know what happened between us and you know what I am trying to say.
This is mostly just for you but I am at a loss for how else to tell you (which is on me).
You and I were in a very toxic relationship with one another, each one always trying to see who could hurt the other more and we could always justify our actions to ourselves. This was rather unfortunate because I think we really did like one another. However, at the time neither one of us could admit that although we had these feelings for one another we just weren’t right for each other. We had two very different ways of viewing the world and that caused riffs between us. I also should have never tried to see you in 2016 and try to patch things up again, I don’t really know what I was thinking honestly. But since then I’ve grown a little and realized that I never really looked at anything from your perspective. I was always too caught up with the pain to take a step back and think “what would I have done in your place”. Honestly, I probably would have done the same thing you did. If I had moved across the country, miles from my friends and family for this one person, just to have that person say “I don’t know if I’m completely in love with you…..”, well…..I would have probably done the same thing that you did.
I know that we probably never would have been the perfect couple we both wanted to be when we first started dating, we were to young to understand that things clearly weren’t going to work regardless of what happened. But I forgive you for what you did to me and I hope someday you can forgive me for being a monster. I truly hope that all is well and that you’ve managed to find happiness. (I’m still working on that last part lol).
In closing, the ridiculous allegations of Kiwi, Bizkit, and Sails were a malicious attempt to silence my side of the story. Kiwi and Bizkit knew the size of their platforms would just shut me down and they took this whole opportunity to punch down and get me banned. I’m glad that it worked out for them.
I will be taking my leave from smash indefinitely. I don’t feel safe around people who will dredge up ancient history of people they don’t like and put their own spin on events to paint someone as dangerous and a demon. Kiwi and Bizkit, please stop talking about me, stop having your followers harass me, and please just leave me alone.
To anyone who did stay my friend throughout all this, you have my number if you want to talk.