TFTI - SaNTa!!! · @SaNTa_Pacman
7th Jul 2020 from TwitLonger
My experience being sexually assaulted by Bingsu, a NorCal Smash Player
This is about Bingsu (also sometimes uses the tag Dreamer) from the NorCal Smash Community
NSFW warning
With all the smash bros player stories being revealed a lot of them hit too close home for me and I have a lot of emotions bubbling up that I’ve been pushing down. Like the memories have always been there, but I’ve been hiding the emotions behind excuses on his behalf. Kind of to downplay it as a way to ignore the problem. But that was just a byproduct of the emotional control / manipulation he had over me. I feel like It’d be too hard to hangout at smash venues without acknowledging this. I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t happen anymore.
One day at [NORCAL WEEKLY] about a year ago I met David (Bingsu) and we started flirting. There was mutual interest, and things evolved into a friends with benefits thing for 2ish weeks. There was cuddling and kissing but not much more other than talk of penetrative sex. All mutual and with consent. No issues with any of this, everything was very normal. And after a little bit he said that he saw me as his girlfriend, which I think I believed and went with. Pretty quickly though he got very pushy for blowjobs. I’ve had some issues with past abuse and giving head is a ptsd trigger for me. So blowjobs are super off limits for me. I would turn down his requests for oral sex and explained I really hated doing that and why.
He would keep requesting / begging for it at times. It would go something like this:
*while kissing*
Him: “suck me”
Me: “not going to happen”
Him: “please?”
Me: “...no”
Him: “I’m so hard though just help me with this”
And he would physically push my head down to his crotch area.
This kind of stuff kept happening constantly during the short relationship. I did end up giving into pressure sometimes to give blowjobs but I still felt really scared and shaken up during it / would have emotional breakdowns afterwards. To make matters worse I think on the second or third time I did that he grabbed my head and forcefully “face fucked” (look it up if you need to) me for a few seconds before I freaked out and stopped it. He acted all surprised like “what’s wrong?” Or “did I mess up?”. Like before all of this we had a heartfelt conversation about stuff and I talked about ptsd issues with oral sex. It was clear I wasn’t comfortable with it. After that stuff kept happening multiple times it sunk into me that I felt violated / used. Like I was some kind of toy for him to use and discard. I stayed in the relationship a little longer though and the forced “face fucking” thing kept happening. Just like over and over again. We kept having conversations about how that was off limits for me. But it’s like as soon as he got horny his brain turned off.
During all of this he was also seeing 1 or 2 other girls. But he still said the “you’re special though” to me and all that stuff I should have been more cautious of. He made me feel like he relied on me, that I was the pillar that could keep him mentally healthy. That I was the only one who could help him grow as a person, even though he would never make any serious attempts to improve. Everything in this relationship was me giving favors / sexual pleasure to him and not really ever getting anything back. As soon as I would finish giving him a blowjob or something else he would get up out of bed right away because he was done, it was time to play smash bros. Meanwhile I was just left on the bed feeling used and depressed. Like I genuinely enjoyed playing smash with him, and enjoyed the early stages of the relationship ship that were cuddling / kissing and playing smash (at a reasonable time). But the whole “I busted a nut so we’re both done now” thing really messed with my emotions. It was always one sided. There were times I would go into the dorm stairwell just to cry emotions out privately and process things after hanging out. I also remember one time after a “face fucking” incident we sat down on a couch to play smash and I was just dead silent for an hour. I was holding back tears and just trying to ignore the feelings. I think he asked if I was okay and gave some excuse like I was tired from an all nighter and called off friendlies early like nothing had happened.
And I get the whole “why didn’t you just leave the relationship thing right away?” thing. I definitely told myself stuff like “it’s okay he knows it’s wrong now” or “things will be different from now on” or “it’s okay he was just horny, people make mistakes when they’re horny”. He would always apologize profusely then turn his back and do the same shit just a few days later. Mentally I wasn’t in the right place and didn’t realize how bad things were / that things weren’t going to improve. I really enjoyed hanging out with him as a friend, and the forced oral sex thing didn’t line up with the image of a great friend I had in my head. So I kept making excuses and defending him, even when it really hurt me. Even now I’m still subconsciously siding with him, as much as I hate it, probably as a way to run away from problems.
After 6(ish) weeks of this relationship I talked to him in person and called everything off. I believe I gave him a cowardly half hearted excuse then, but later we had a full conversation about it which helped me vent a bit. I still feel impacted by the whole thing today. I like him as a friend / player. But I’m left hurt inside after all of it. I feel like that ptsd attachment to oral sex just piled up more. It feels like the world moved on and I was left behind. I’m just worried that he hasn’t learned about relationships and all that stuff, and that others might be mistreated like I feel I was.
I consented to everything except oral sex, and was still heavily pressured / physically forced to anyways.
In case anyone wants proof of this happening. The best I can do is showing you screenshots of when I confronted Bingsu a few days ago and he admits to it happening. Both to me and saying he’s done the same to another person:
(I sent him essentially the same content as this post and this is his response)
https://imgur.com/gallery/J4Lmusq
In speaking to others about their experience with David (Bingsu), we have noticed that David has shown a pattern of manipulative behavior where he gaslights others and changes their narrative. David has also admitted that he has brought alcohol to tournament venues multiple times and has driven others from tournaments while intoxicated.
There have been times where he was my ride home from a tournament, and I would only discover he was drunk / buzzed while we were on the freeway home. Other times he would leave early with his friends, I’d be stuck at the venue having to find a new ride or get an Uber. He also uses threats of suicide to manipulate others into doing what he wants and keeping you emotionally dependent on him.
I’ve also talked to other past partners of his and this behavior is not a one time thing. This has repeated itself countless times and has hurt far too many people. He is a dangerous individual that shouldn’t be allowed to continue hurting others in our community.
It feels gross that people don’t know about his behavior. And I want to encourage other people who have gone through similar stuff to speak up about it. I almost certainly would still be trying to cover his ass without being motivated by all the recent smash news. Remember that this isn’t the community falling apart, it’s just growing into a better one.